Washingtonpost.com: Live Online

As troops are deployed overseas to prepare for a possible military confrontation in Iraq, many Americans are reflecting on past wars and examining their own feelings toward the men and women who serve in the U.S. military. In his op-ed piece, My Heart on the Line, Frank Schaeffer writes that he is among them: “Before my son became a Marine, I never thought much about who was defending me. Now when I read of the war on terrorism or the coming conflict in Iraq, it cuts to my heart.”

Frank Schaeffer is a writer whose latest book, “Keeping the Faith--A Father-Son Story About Love and the United States Marine Corps,” was co-authored with his son, Marine Corp. John Schaeffer. He was online on Tuesday, Nov. 26.

The transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

washingtonpost.com: Thank you for joining us today.

Miramar, Cal.: Mr Schaeffer,

I am a 34-year-old Marine Major who grew up in New England (my mother lives in Gloucester, MA) and attended a Prep school in CT, and was surrounded by the same attitudes you mention in your article. It hit very close to home.

I am now an instructor at an F/A-18 squadron and I look forward to serving with your son. My mother was a self described hippie who had difficulty accepting my decision to join the Marine Corps but came to a similar epiphany. On behalf of the children who's parents "didn't get it", and others currently serving...thank you.

I guess if I had to ask a question, it would be: do those parents "get it" yet?
Semper Fi,

Frank Schaeffer: Thank you. some of the other parents get it but not most. After 9-11 some things changed but there is still a class of people who think that defense is someone elses job

Alexandria, Va.: Do you support mandatory service as a means of bridging the culture gap between the nations self proclaimed "elite" and the military? If not, how do you think we can prevent folks from the “privileged” class believing it is a waste of an education to join the military?

Frank Schaeffer: I think world events will dictate a change. We are back in the 13th C re a conflict of cultures. The military will gre in imortance every day.

Ft. Benning, Ga.: I just read your op-ed piece on us.army.mil (Early Bird News). Thank you! My parents had a similar experience as you after I joined the Army two years into college. I am now serving as an officer in 1-15 Infantry Regiment. Once again my family is reliving the experience as my youngest brother has recently enlisted in the Army National Guard. Again, thank you for your honest report. I will pass this along to my soldiers.

Frank Schaeffer: Thank you. If you get the chance you might enjoy the book Keeping Faith my son John and I wrote together on the subject of a father-son story you will understand. Best, Frank

washingtonpost.com: What are, in your opinion, the origins of the negative feelings towards military service that you ascribe to others in your column?

Frank Schaeffer: Vietnam. After that we got used to someone else defending us. People talk about income disparity bu this is another kind of class structure.

Huntsville, Ala.: Why did you come to "revile Bill Clinton"? I, too, have a son in the Marine Corps--in an undisclosed location at the moment. He and I are Democrats and have the greatest respect for Bill and Hillary as people of intellect and ability--and patriotism and humanity.

A book review (Kirkus) on the Barnes and Noble website was my source for your opinion of Bill Clinton.

I might add that the parents you met at the graduation of your son from boot camp may have been better off in a Bill Clinton administration than in a Republican one, but that, of course, is just my opinion.

Frank Schaeffer: In my book written with my son John my reactions are those of a parent worried about his son, not a political statement. If you read the book I hope you see that I am aware of the powerful emotions I went through. In this sense Keeping Faith is less political than personal. It just struck me as weird to have a drafd dodger as commander in chief --- still does.

Chicago Ill.: Your reaction, if you will, to your son's joining USMC is documented in your new book as well as today's column. How have other member's of your family accepted or not accepted and reacted to John's entry to the military?

Frank Schaeffer: We all are so very proud of him. His mom, brother and sister and me of course feel that our associatiopn with the USMC through our son is one of the finest things to happen to us.

Livingston, N.J.: How is your son's mother reacting to his decision? When our son made the same choice and left college after 9-11, his mother was upset, to say the least. She has since come to accept it, but she is, of course, very worried.

Frank Schaeffer: We pray a lot and are very proud. We also feel somewhat sorry for all the young men and women who are missing out on the great maturing process our son is going through.

Quantico, Va.: You mentioned that many from your community were asking the question "what went wrong?" when your son decided to join the Marines. Have any of these same people come to you with a change in attitude based upon your new book and/or your speaking engagements?

Frank Schaeffer: Yess, interestingly enough John's old school friends and staff have come around and been very suportive based on reading Keeping Faith. I had one friend, a well-known childrens book author say, "I get it now. I'm still a pacifist and now I'm a big fan of the USMC" What that meant I'm not sure but it is a big change. I'm hoping the book will open more eyes to the humanity of all concerned.

Arlington, Va.: My son is an Army tanker/Ranger in Kuwait; been there since September. My husband and I shared a great deal of what you described when he first joined the military. Your words touched me deeply, you have articulated my feelings better than I could myself.

I have two questions. What advice would you give parents to cope with worry about their kids and what are some good ways we can encourage our sons who are possbily facing war in the Middle East?

Frank Schaeffer: As a religious person I pray. I find that crying out to God is my only rescource in the end. For our children I feel we should tell them that they are part of the great defense Western civilisation, that we are in a historic conflict against intollerance and darkness, a noble cause if there ever was one.

Howard Beach, N.Y.: More a comment than a question. I'm a NYPD officer and WTC rescue worker who has seen first hand the evil in today's world. My son wants to join the Marines when he graduates High School and I am very moved by that choice. I applaud you for your article, it really touched a nerve. His high school seems to somehow think that he is not "going in the right direction" as well. That he should consider college and college only.

Frank Schaeffer: One emotion I have experienced is that of feeling rather unworthy of the Marines I've met. As a father it has been strange to have my biggest source of worry also be my greatest source of pride.

Fairfax, Va.: Was intrigued with your article-haven't seen the book yet..I am a former Marine LT. Platoon Cmdr in Vietnam. From NY originally-classic Irish Catholic family. We have sent men to all our wars from the Revolution on, but I will always remember my mother's anger when I left. Not because I served-she understood that, but because others didn't. But my question is about the 'Southern' comment in the article. Many of my friends in the Corps were not from the South but from the Northeast. What has your son found? However, there seems to be some linkage re: regions. If you have read Linds's book, "Vietnam the Necessary War," he talks about the disproportionate representation in the country's regions: South over represented, North underrepresented.
But your article was very moving. Thank you. And thank you for all those young Marines with whom I served and whose names are on the Wall. Their faces are forever young, but their dedication and commitment were ageless. And oorrahh for your son.

Frank Schaeffer: Thank you.

Washington, D.C.: Your poignant article resonated within the hearts of myself and my wife. Our son is a Marine. That puts a whole new perspective on armed conflict. But we are so very proud of him. I believe that the warrior class has distanced itself from society with the abolition of the draft. Absent a mandatory service requirement, how else can we reestablish the patriotic connection that has created this chasm?

Frank Schaeffer: We live in a strange time and place where our entertainment culture seems to be in one compartment and the real world in another. 9-11 was a reminder that good feelings are not enough, that reality does intrude even here. Sadly I believe that the unfolding conflict with redical Islam is going to bring a new awareness of duty, faith and honor that has been easy to laugh at. Maybe things will slowly change.

Great Falls, Va.: I am also a Marine from an upper middle class backgroud who served in the 80s. I look forward to reading your book, becuase my time in the service was also one of the best things for my relationship with my father. I have found that my time on the service has been a real advantage in my professional career, as you say - in my town everybody went to college for 4 (mostly drunken) years, it is not much of a differentiator. Learning duty, honor and responsibilty will serve your son well every day of his life, in or out of the corps.

How has Marine headquarters reacted to your book?

Frank Schaeffer: I have not heard anything official from the Marines about the book but all my son's officers seem to like it and the Marine corps Association is running a review of Keeping Faith in Leatherneck next week. I'm hoping it gets on the Commandants reading list since I like to think it will help lots of folks understand the Corps in a new way. Not to mention the fact that I'd like to see the book do well!

Baltimore, Md.: In order to rid the country of the "armed forces is for the lower classes" attitude, would you support a return to the draft?

Frank Schaeffer: I certainly think that service would help a lot of very spoiled and directionless "Upper class" youth get their lives together. Maybe some form of national service military or non-military would be good for everyone and level the feild a little.

Huémoz, Switzerland: Dear Frank,
I loved your book. A must read! I was wondering what your son John is up to now ?

Frank Schaeffer: John is serving near DC (for the time being) He is doing well and working hard. One of my biggest pleasures in life is visiting with him and his Marine friends. It has been great to get to know them.

Patuxent River, Md.: I'm a retired Naval Officer who served in Vietnam. My son is a Marine Captain and daughter a Marine Lieutenant. I am extremely proud of both. My question - If and when we move on Iraq it will probably be an extremely ugly military campagain. How do you think the elite will react to a much higher casualty rate than we have experienced in recent conflicts?

Frank Schaeffer: I hope some of our elite eventually get as shamed by the disparity in who risks their lives for us as they say they are about income disparity. But I doubt we'll hear much from them. The real question for this country is when the body bags all go to only certain kinds of neighborhoods what will the parents of those who serve be saying, feeling and doing.

Washington, D.C.: Which was harder, writing the book or getting it published? And do you use other Marine Corps books as sources for research?

Frank Schaeffer: Both. It is still tough to treat this subject as a "book" my kid is still in the corps and so it is not abstract. Getting it published was not so hard because my novels Portofino and Saving Grandma are successful.

Clinton, Md.: I read your piece before I left home this morning. It hit home! I am a mother of a Marine. He is stationed at Camp Pendleton. I am very proud of his decision to join the Corps. I never paid any attention to the DOD budget or thought about what equipment the soldiers have or where they lived, until he joined. Our family went to Parris Island for graduation and we all beamed with pride. I don't think that the men and women of the Armed Forces are given enough credit for their choice to serve. I plan to read your book. Thank you for your article. I think it will make some people stop and think. I hope your Marine stays safe, that is what I tell my Marine.

Frank Schaeffer: Thank you. I found that with my son, as expressed in our book his reason for joining was diferent from how he felt after boot camp. Now he is a very dedicated Marine, then he just wanted a change of scene. Then he was a boy, now he is a man. You are right to be proud of our Marines. I am too! Blessings on our sons.

Arlington, Va.: Why would you make the same mistake that was made in the Vietnam period, of confusing missuse of our young people with mistaken foreign policy?

Frank Schaeffer: I think if you read our book Keeping Faith you'll find it is not a political statement our much to do with foreign policy. Rather I write as one parent and my son relats his experiences as one Marine. We do not claim to have all the answers about what our country should or should not do. Life is too short for holding too many certaitees. The one thing I know is that I love my son, suport his choice and suport his fellow Marines.

Langley, Va.: Frank,
In keeping with your feelings about President Clinton's having not served in the military, what is your view regarding the current occupant of the White House? There is growing evidence that he went AWOL for 13 months during his stint with the National Guard and then resigned because he wouldn't have been able to pass a mandantory drug test. Do you feel the same way about Bush as Clinton?

Frank Schaeffer: No man who is president can be anything but brave, Clinto, or Bush. Bush is at more personal risk every morning than any person serving. Sadly we have enemise who wish him harm. He is a brave man to stand up every morning and take on the extremists in the Islamic movement. As for Clinton he may have dadged the draft but to be a sitting president as we all know too well involves terrible personal risk. None of these guys are cowards.

Rochester, Minn.: How can you explain that the higher academic circles and the American campuses seem to be so anti-military ?

Frank Schaeffer: The extreme left did a number on the heads of a lot of kids now grown up and tenured. They will never change their ideas but thankfully maybe will be replaced by a new generation not so poisoned by doubt and irony.

Carlisle, Penn.: Great article. I look forward to reading the book. I have worked with, trained and lead your son's peers for over 24 years. The military perhaps more than any other insitution in America is producing mature, experienced adults that truly know the meaning of selfless service. I can't help think how diffrent things might have been this past weekend at Ohio State had those students had the opportunity to mature in the military. How do you view your son's maturity compared with his high school classmates?

Frank Schaeffer: There is no doubt that John is way ahead of many of his non-military peers. The Marine's idea of self-esteem is that the Marine standing next to you is more important than you are. That is a huge life lesson. I only wish I had learned that degree of selflessness myself as a young man. I would have been a better person.

Yonkers, N.Y.: Has your faith played a role in your perception of community and service? Do you think this is lacking in today's society?

Frank Schaeffer: Perhaps it has. I noticed when I went to Parris Isalnd that there were many races together. They worked together because they serve a higher purpose. sometimes in our PC culture we call people to all these valuse of diversity but for no reason other than that thios is a nice thing to do. Because the Corps is built around this idea of service their people actually do the things they only talk about at the universities. The difference is that the Corps calls people to service. this is a religious ideal in a way.

Pensacola Fla.: First, I'd like to applaud you for supporting your son's decision to join the Marine Corps. Even with all the patriotism surrounding 9/11 our military people are still not as valued as they should be (in my opinion). Has your son's service affected your opinion on the quality of young men and women who enlist?

Frank Schaeffer: Yess. I am ashamed to say before he went into the Coprs I was more of a snob. Not any more. If I was going to be stuck on a desert islnad give me Marines any day, and not just because they could survive. they are some of the brightest, kindest and best people I have ever met. Our "elite" is missing out.

Fort Lee, Va.: The Marines must be keeping your son quite busy; how did he find the time to collaborate with you on the book?

Frank Schaeffer: We wrote the book via e-mail when he was in training after boot camp. It was a tough job for him. Keeping Faith cost John a lot of precious sleep!

San Diego, Cal.: I read your article in the Post today quite by accident. It was sent to me on email by my 1st Sgt. I am a CWO2 stationed at Camp Pendleton. Your article has already spread like wildfire throughout the Marine Corps. It has really touched us in many ways. I am thankful to you and your son to the dedication that you have shown to the Corps and our Country. I will be getting a copy of your book within the next couple of days. I don't really have a question. I just wanted to let you know that I, for one, have been touched.

Frank Schaeffer: Thank you. I feel very small sometimes just writing about what I feel when you and my boy are out there defending us all. thank you for your service.

Rockville, Md.: Did your son John show an interest in the military prior to enlisting? Given John's strong academic background did you consider recommending that he enter a college ROTC program befor going into the Marine Corps?
My daughter is currently a member of the Navy ROTC at Boston University. I have been reading the Washington Post for the last five years, and, "My Heart On The Line," rates as the best piece of work ever to appear in it.

Frank Schaeffer: Thank you. John went into the Corps because of the chalange. He wanted to take the tough road and like most kids was not into too much planning about that. So he went enlisted. What he does next I don't know though I know he wants to study more. the best to your daughter. thank her for serving for me.

Washington, D.C.: "The Marine's idea of self-esteem is that the Marine standing next to you is more important than you are."

I never heard this during my time in the Marines, but it's never been said better.

Many, many thanks for a great quote and a terrific article.

Frank Schaeffer: Thank you.

Long Beach: The Marine Corps has a two-sided history, one of great valor in war, and of questionable interventions to protect U.S. banks and cartels. Do you worry about your son dying to protect an oil pipeline somewhere? Would that be justified?

Frank Schaeffer: The whole human race has a "questionable history" and yet we muddle on. Valor is not squandered just because we are all far from perfect. Whatever my Marine does he will be standing up for the Marine next to him. He won't solve all the problems in the world but is a trustworthy man his Marines cant count on. that is enough for me.

Alexandria, VA: Sir, I thought you might like to know that we discussed your piece today in my seminar at the National War College, Washington D.C. As a 22 year Naval Officer, I am still amazed at those, even within the government, who have no idea what we who have been in recruiting face every day. Parents who think their children are "too good" for military service need to read "The Greatest Generation" by Tom Brokow. Perhaps they would think twice about the so-called "ideals" they think they have instilled in their youngsters. Best wishes to you and your son. Semper Fi.

Frank Schaeffer: Thank you.

Springfield, Mass.: When the educated "elite" and the rich look down there noses on there military, such as you describe, it reminds me of the downfall of the Roman Empire. That's exactly what happened to them. Scary.
I sent your article to some buddies of mine that served the corp, all responded saying they almost cried reading it. I was in the U.S. Navy, some of the best arguments and fights were with Marines. Some have been lifelong friends. I don't understand anyone that isn't proud when they see a Marine in full dress, or any service men or women. These are our defenders, our kids, our countrymen! This situation needs to be turned around, any suggestions?

Frank Schaeffer: One sugestion is to vote for people worthy of recieving the salut of the Marines guarding them.

Naval Air Station Lemoore, Cal.: I have no question for you Mr Schaeffer, only a firm hand shake and a pat on the shoulder. You have opened your soul and showed us all the value of looking beyond our own private lives and into what it really takes to be a free and diverse society. I salute your son for his service and for educating his father!

Frank Schaeffer: Thank you.

Norfolk Va.: Good Afternoon Sir:

As a current member of the Armed Services, (Navy) and a long term team player and defender of our great nation, I have cast the openion that people think FREEDOM is Free.Not just in a monitaraly, but as a state of mind. I do not think that the problem rest with just the upper class, but with the Nation as a hole. What do you think now? Good on your son Semper Fy

Frank Schaeffer: We have become too involved in ourselves on too many levels. Those who serve are it seems to me more wide awake than the rest of us.

Springfield, Va.: I did fine with your article til I got to the last paragraph...then the tears flowed!! My son is a Major in the USMC and a pilot currently part of the 1st Marine division at Pendleton. As a single mother who raised him alone from age 3 that last paragraph summed up what I have been unable to verbally formulate. My son says, "don't worry Mom until the planes and men with guns are sent over there." Easier said than done.
Thanks again for the article..appreciate it!!

Frank Schaeffer: I know what you mean! Best to your son.

Annandale, Va.: Frank,
No question, I just wanted to thank you for your superb editorial. I am a retired Marine and the father of a Marine. Your thoughts are right on target. There is no higher calling than service to country. Thankfully there are a few good men and women for whom there are life goals more important than stock options and year-end bonuses.

Frank Schaeffer: The best thing for me out of all this has been the chance to get to know so many men and women in the Corps.

washingtonpost.com: That's all the time we have for today. Thanks to everyone who joined the discussion.

| |



	<img SRC="washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/liveonline/redesign/adv_discusssion.htm" width=125 height=110 border=0>