Victims of Middle East Violence
With Delegates,
Israeli and Palestinian Bereaved Families' Forum for Peace
Wednesday, March 20, 2002; 2 p.m. EST

The Israeli and Palestinian Bereaved Families' Forum for Peace -- a delegation of parents who have lost children or other relatives to the Arab-Israeli conflict and who are working together in search for peace and reconciliation -- will brief interested parties on Capitol Hill at an event cosponsored by Congressmen Howard Berman and Darrell Issa, and the Arab American Institute, the Religious Action Center.

Members of the delegation were online Wednesday, March 20 at 2 p.m. EST, to discuss the their goal of stopping the killing in the Middle East and what can be done to end the cycle of violence.

A transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

Bereaved Families Forum: We are a group of over 200 Israeli and over 150 Palestinian bereaved families. We are here now in the US -- a group of 12 Israeli and Palestinian bereaved parents. Yesterday, we had a display of 1050 coffins -- 800 draped with Palestinian flags, 250 draped with Israeli flags. We wanted to show the international community the tragedy that is occuring between the Israelis and Palestians and to call upon the leaders in the US, the UN and Europe to be involved in the conflict between our people, because our leaders are not able to sit together to find a peace solution. We come with a simple message: Stop shooting. Start talking.

We are not politicians. We are parents who have lost our children in this conflict. I lost my eldest son, Arik, in 1994. He was kidnapped and murdered by Hamas -- only because there is no peace between us and the Palestinians.

With me here today are Salama Toumizy and Aharon Barnea -- Palestinian and Israeli parents who also have lost children in this conflict.

washingtonpost.com: "Mideast Parents Promote Peace at UN," (AP, March 19)

Arlington, Va.: I am glad to hear about your organization, and as a Jew am truly disheartened by the continued violence in the Middle East. It seems to me that right now we have two leaders that provide the least possible chance for peace -- Ariel Sharon is a hardliner who, I believe, has no wish for peace until he gets what he wants. I also believe that Arafat is as good as impotent and will never take a hard stance against terrorism in his country. Do you really believe there is any hope for an end to the violence with these two leaders in power? Also, what do you think are the biggest misconceptions that are keeping the violence alive?

Bereaved Families Forum: Any moment is the right moment to begin the peace process, regardless of who is in power. We need to push public opinion -- both Israeli and Palestinian -- to influence our leaders to meet, discuss, and find solutions that reflect compromises from both sides.

Sharon and Arafat are strong leaders, and they can be moved to go in this direction (Aharon Barnea)

New York, N.Y.: How do you stop the recent phenomena of the suicide bombings? Can you make people stop blowing themselves up?

Bereaved Families Forum: I express my opinion as a layman, not a politician. In order for us to understand the suicide bombings, we have to understand why they take place. I see them as a reaction and we need to understand what they are a reaction to.

I do not condone suicide bombings, but they are unlikely to stop until we have two states with equal rights side by side -- according to UN Security Council resolutions.

Justice and peace are the only solution to this problem. (Salama Temizy)

Augusta, Maine: Is there any genuine effort on the part of the Israeli government or military to eliminate and prosecute daily abuses of Palestinian citizens committed by rogue soldiers who have reportedly razed ordinary family homes, fired live ammunition at protesting juveniles, harrassed women and refused road access to ambulances carrying injured, ill or pregnant Palestinians?

Bereaved Families Forum: I believe as an Israeli that the Israeli government is certainly interested in putting an end to incidents of this type -- both because of the moral implications and the domestic and international criticisms in the Israeli and international press. There certainly is no policy of the government of harrassing the civil population, but the very fact that we occupy the West Bank and Gaza, it is almost impossible to avoid clashes. This situation is inevitably going to result in human rights violations. As Zionists, it is absolutely imperative for us to get ourselves out of the territories as occupiers in order to realize our aspirations of being a democratic country. - Aharon Barnea

Southern Maryland: As someone who will become a father in a few days, I can't thank you enough for your work. In the Holy Land, like Northern Ireland, whole generations have grown up knowing nothing but hate, fear, vengeance and death. Is this the world that those parents want for their children? I hope mothers and fathers everyhere will follow your example and help to make the world safe for their children.

Bereaved Families Forum: Thank you for your support. -- Salama Temizy and Aharon Barnea

Brooklyn, N.Y.: Would clamping down sustainingly and strongly on Hamas, Islamic Jiahd and Fatah's Al Aqsa Brigades who engage in deadly attacks against Israeli civilians possibly help stem violence? Before that is done Israeli checkpoints will obviously be needed.

Bereaved Families Forum: As a group, we do not have a position on this. Personally, I believe that any responsible government in any country should do its utmost to fight terrorism and defend its citizens with all the means at its disposal -- but they should do this while respecting the human rights of innocent civilians. I must add, in our particular case, our government should offer a political alternative to the other side that recognizes the legitimate rights of the Palestinians, and at the same time ensures the basic security needs of Israel. -- Aharon Barnea

Rockaway, N.J.: Isn't there a moral difference between the targeting of civilians and the unfortunate loss of innocent life bystanders? Why do Palestinians deny this? Is it because, as their official press declares, all Jews worldwide are fair game?

Doesn't anyone realize that if Palestinians weren't murdering Jews, no Palestinians would die, either?

Bereaved Families Forum: Killing is the same in all forms. It is not acceptable to excuse it as an accident. What do you call it when a car full of settlers, and sit and wait until my son's car drives by. You cannot call this an accident. Surely there is intentional killing by both sides. The bottom line is killing is killing and we condemn it. I say: enough killing, enough rage. Start talking to achieve justice and peace.

Bereaved Families Forum: Sorry, that was from Salama Temizy.

Baltimore, Md.: I think your group and its goals are highly admirable. However, your statement that you are "not political" is either naive or cynical. How does an elected leader of a democratic society negotiate with a dictatorial group that embraces terrorism? Unless the many Palestinians who seek peace will also seek a truly free representative government, I fear we are doomed to endless false promises, misunderstanding, and continued violence.

Bereaved Families Forum: We are not saying that we are not political. We are political because we want to change the reality. We are not a political party or embracing any political party platform. We truly bleive that although the Palestinian political structure is not the same as ours, we do believe on the strenghths of the people and the weight of the people's pressures on the leaders. -- Aharon

We cannot that Arafat is a terrorist. Arafat is an elected President for Palestinians. Sharon is an elected Prime Minister for Israelis. They all need to sit together with the assistance of the US. The US can do more to bring the two sides together and help facilitate a solution. -- Salama Temizy

Bereaved Families Forum: The name-calling is pointless. People on the other side of the conflict also see Sharon as a terrorist. The name-calling can go both ways and there are bloody hands on both sides. This is not a constructive way of reaching a solution. -- Salama Temizy

I certainly agree. -- Aharon Barnea

Alexandria, Va.: Is land-for-peace possible? The Palestinians rejected the Clinton peace plan of December 2000 because they wanted right-of-return-PLUS-land for peace. Arafat wanted the right to settle hundreds of thousands of Palestinian Arabs inside of Israel's pre-1967 borders.

Bereaved Families Forum: Not only is land for peace possible, but it is the only solution. On both sides we have to renounce many of our claims. The Israeli side will have to renounce sovereignty on historical places in ancient Israel and the Palestinians will have to renounce the demand of total right of return to the State of Israel.

The Clinton peace plan of December 2000 should become an important reference document for a future agreement.

Branford, Conn.: I would very much like to do something to help broker the peace process as a private U.S. citizen. What can I do?

Bereaved Families Forum: We very much welcome your support. Please contact me at any time. Please visit our website at www.theparentscircle.com for more information. -- Yitzhak Frankenthal

Washington, D.C.: Are the Israelis and Palestinians are far apart as it appears in the U.S., or is there any hope for reconciliation in the relatively near future?

Bereaved Families Forum: We are here to show you that there is hope and that trust can be restored. If we -- bereaved families -- that have paid the real price of not having peace, if we can have a dialogue with our counterparts, then anybody can. If we overcame hatred and vengence, then anybody can.

This is the beginning of the road to restoring trust.

-- Aharon Barnea

Bereaved Families Forum: Bringing the Israelis and Palestinians closer together will undoubtedly take a long time. If we wait for it to happen, we will just have dead people on both sides. We have to activley do something about it. When and if a peace agreement is achieved, everything else will fall into place.

Before the Intifadah, Palestinians had Israeli friends, and Israelis had Palestinian friends. Now they cannot meet or even talk with each other.

-- Salama Temizy

Rockville, Md.: Why did the Palestinians give up the best deal that could ever be with Yehud Barak at Camp David? They won't get anything better than that.
Why do the Palestinians teach their children hatred, destruction of Israel and Jews?

Bereaved Families Forum: Our group deals with the future. We can be critical by digging in the past and trying to understand the motivations of our neighbors that today are our enemies and tomorrow, hopefully, will be our friends. I believe that what happened in the last 1 1/2 years, that the many dead and destruction of both our economies will cool the minds of people and make them come to their senses to find a solution with compromises. I want to believe that following an agreement between the parties, both societies -- particularly the teachers and educators -- will understand their moral responsibility in constructing trust and knowledge of the Other. -- Aharon Barnea

Bereaved Families Forum: We don't teach our students anything against Jews. This is the truth. -- Salama Temizy

Bereaved Families Forum: Note: Both Aharon Barnea and Salama Temizy are educators.

Bereaved Families Forum: We hope that our visit to the United States will succeed in getting support for bringing international public opinion to encourage and pressure our leaders to sit and talk. Thank you very much for this opportunity.

-- Aharon Barnea, Salama Temizy, and Yitzhak Frankenthal

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