Abigail Trafford

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The terrorist attacks struck at the heart of the American workplace. The carnage took mostly workers who were building careers and raising families--unifying an age group in a single day the way that a war defines a generation. In office buildings and factories across the country, workers could easily identify with those in the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. So many were just doing their jobs, paying the mortgage, and looking forward to playing with their kids on weekends.

You spend most of your working hours on the job. The attacks have led many people to re-examine their working life. For many people, the trauma of terrorist attacks has been exacerbated by another trauma: job loss. All this has created a lot of anxiety in the workplace.

What is your situation? Has your work life changed?

Join Post Health columnist Abigail Trafford on Tuesday, Nov. 27 at 2 p.m. EST for an interactive reader discussion about dealing with life in the aftermath of Sept. 11 -- from changes in your daily routine or moods to big questions about changing values and priorities.

The transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

Abigail Trafford: Hello everybody! How are you doing today? Some people write me that they are ready to declare victory over the terrists and move on. Others wonder why they're still haveing trouble concentrating. Or suddently they can't sleep. Most of us look at our job as an important resource. Working is not just about getting paid--though a paycheck is the basic neccessity. It's also about a community of co-workers with whom you spend most of your waking hours. But the workplace is under seige right now. The September 11 attacks struck at the heart of the American workplace. That was an acute blow that caused people to question: how safe is my workplace? How meaningful is my job? Meanwhile, the looming chronic problem for workers is unemployment as more people lose their jobs. How are you doing on the job? How are you doing in your life? Have you got any tips to share. Join us now with your comments and questions.

Washington, D.C.: I feel an inner joy and a sense of freedom that I've never experienced before. This is directly related to the events of 9/11. My best friend is just the opposite. She is depressed and fearful. The odd part is that we both feel the way we do for the same reason: vulnerability and lack of control. For me, knowing there is nothing I can do to prevent being a victim of a terrorist attack means that I can just let go of that fear. For her, it makes her feel constantly afraid.

Abigail Trafford: You put it so well. 9/11 affects people differently--and can produce opposite effects. The increase in depression and anxiety has gotten the most attention--because these conditions need to be addressed. But I am with you. There is also a sense of liberation. The truth is that there are things in life that we cannot control. Letting go of them is very freeing. Vice president Cheney talked about this in an interview on PBS. He said there was nothing an individual could do to prevent or protect himself in a situation like the attacks on the World Trade Center. The challenge comes in distinguishing what you cannot control--and what you can control and worrying about the latter. It's very hard to let go and say: I cannot control everything. But that's one of many lessons of 9/11.

Somewhere, USA: My girlfriend of four years dumped me after the attacks to find herself. What am I supposed to do now that I am alone at a time when I need someone to be close to?

Abigail Trafford: I bet she was concerned about the relationship before the attacks. 9/11 was the public crisis that confirmed her private decision. I'm not a therapist but I've talked to lots of people in your situation for a book I wrote on breaking up. ("Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life) You are not alone and there are predictable steps that most people go through when a relationship ends and they have to forge new relationships and learn how to be single. There are also support groups you can join. That's a way to get solace and companionship at a time when you need support.

Bethesda, Md.: I gotta ask, what the hell is up with this national hand wringing? I'm getting sick and tired of whining "experts!"

Yes, the attacks were a horrific incident. Yes, we should mourn the loss of all those lives.

But we need to get on with our lives. Your article made me cringe. It lends credence to the very irrational fear that people seem to have these days.

The truth is, we're far more likely to die in a car accident or due to smoking or due to eating fatty foods than in a terrorist attack.

It's time for us to get on with our lives, and not let slimeballs like bin Laden make us fear irrationally.

Abigail Trafford: Fear is not rational. It's true that many thousands will die this year of flu and pneumonia (65,000 people a year, and in traffic crashes (42,000, but we don't fear the flu and feel very safe when we get into a car. That's because we know the risks and accept them. It's the enemy that you know is easier to deal with with the one you don't. The danger from bioterrorism is new and unpredictable. It's a new fear. People tend to overestimate their personal risk of new dangers. Remember Mad Cow Disease?
Talking about fears helps to put them in their place.To some, this may be national handwringing. To others, it's healing.

Harpers Ferry, W. Va.: Abigail,

Although September 11th came after I was laid off on August 9th, I've found that all the focus has been on the victims of that tragedy. Now that I still haven't found a job in this rotten economy (no current security clearance) I'm all alone in my fear of remaining unemployed and we and our kids will still need to eat. I'm at my wit's end.

Abigail Trafford: You are not alone. In October nearly 440,000 jobs were lost in the private sector. The recession started before 9/11. But you are right to ask for help. If the government is going to set up special funds to bail out the airline industry and rebuild New York City, where is the special funding for people who have lost their jobs? Most state governments have programs to help the unemployed. I'd contact your state agency and your church or community center for immediate support. Then write to your representatives in Congress and urge them to deal with the problem of job loss.

Rockville, Md.: Today's Health Section talked about airplane noise raising blood pressure. I grew up a block from a runway jets used 24 hours a day and have great blood pressure. In fact it's hard for me to sleep without noise. Could it be the change from one situation to another that raises our blood pressure?

Abigail Trafford: This was an interesting study. A report in the British journal Occupational and Environmental Medicine shows that people who live in the highest noise zones around the Stockholm airport were significantly more likely to have high blood pressure than people who live farther away. There was no difference between men and women. But you raise several interesting points. The first is that people who aren't used to noise may be more likely to show a physical response such as a rise in blood pressure. Your system may be so used to noise that it doesn't register on you. (All this would have to be investigated in another study!) Another major factor is genetics. Some people are at higher risk of hypertension and are more likely to respond to stresses with increased blood pressure. Still, this is a provocative study suggesting that noise can be a stressor for hypertension. The good news is that living in the flight path did not affect people's hearing.

Washington, D.C.: After 9/11, sometimes I feel guily that neither I nor my loved ones were hurt or directly affected. Is guilt at a time like this normal? Or is it only "normal" for chronically guilt-ridden Catholics such as myself? And, how do I get rid of the guilt?

Abigail Trafford: Ah guilt. Americans have a load of it. Perhaps this is a legacy of our Puritan origins? And our can-do attitude that destiny is in our hands--that somehow we can control fate? Seriously, what you are feeling is very common. It's called "Survivor's Guilt." It's a way to mourn the loss of others while rejoicing in the fact that you were not a victim in the crisis. These are two contradictory feelings and they create enormous anxiety. In other words, guilt. Personally, I think recognizing the "double-feel" is a first step to dealing with the guilt. Talking about it, accepting it, giving yourself time to work it through. And if it helps, talking about it with a priest or therapist.

Washington, D.C. : I have a friend who is a hypochondriac, and after September 11 he or she has been suffering from terrible and strange ailments that are probably in my mind. I mean his or her mind. I am talking about symptoms of lupus erythematosis, Paget's Disease, mycosis fungoides, ulcerative colitis, pemphigus, Reynaud's phenomenon, nosopharyngeal angiofibroma, fibromyalgia, carpal tunnel syndrom, bitrochanteric lipodystrophy, and cholecystitis. Is this related to Sept. 11?

Abigail Trafford: Your friend needs expert medical advice--a specialist who can make a differential diagnosis. Something is wrong. The symptoms may have been heightened by September 11, but it sounds as though the suffering has been there for quite a while.

Arlington, Va.: I was definitely shaken by the events of Sept. 11th, and I felt that I took pretty good care of myself in the immediate aftermath- I was already in counseling, I took half days on Fridays for a few weeks afterwards to just de-stress. Then three weeks ago, my Mom died (long term illness- she had Alzheimers' and cancer) and now I just feel numb. Even though I made almost all of the arrangements for my Mom's services, it just doesn't seem like I have integrated the fact that she is dead. I've been back at work for five days now, but really have no desire to do any of my work.

I am going to have a talk next week with my supervisor about flextime and my workload and productivity; the good thing is that everyone at work has been extremely supportive and there is a real work/life balance policy at my job. Also will hopefully have an appt. with my counselor this weekend (I've been on a counseling hiatus for about a month due to financial reasons). Any other ideas on how I can just get through the days?

Abigail Trafford: My heart goes out to you. It sounds as though you are doing everything right. You're lucky to have a supportive work environment. That can make all the difference. You're also taking care of yourself. You've had a double blow--9/11 and your mother's death. Be good to yourself.

Virginia: In Alice Munro's new collection of short stories, there's apparently (I'm basing this solely on the review) a story of a woman who's diagnosed with cancer, and experiences what Munro calls (I think I"m remembering this right) a "low grade freedom" - realizing she's not in control, and that she is now free of so much of what worried her, even as she's now facing death. I was struck by that description, finding it captured some of what I'd felt myself, not only after 9/11 but in response to previous brushes with chaos and unpredictability. I flew over the Thanksgiving holidays and was struck, anew, by the feeling of freedom, that it was out of my hands, all of it - whatever would happen to the plane, whether we'd arrive on time, and whether I'd make my connection, etc. (Not all my fellow passengers felt the same, however!) In contrast, I've always noticed it's my friends with the greatest need to control who have the greatest difficulty flying - because it seems so out of control to them.

Abigail Trafford: You put it very well. Thanks for pointing out the phrase from Alice Munro. "Low grade freedom." That's a wonderful phrase.

Trauma and holidays: Oddly enough, I find myself looking forward to Christmas earlier than ever this year. I usually wait till two weeks before to really get into shopping, carols, decorating, etc., but I'm already thinking about these things now, listening to Christmas music, etc.

Is anyone else feeling the need to dive into the holidays to get cheered up?

Abigail Trafford: Most years, holidays are a time of stress. But this year, the September attacks were a national time of stress. As a result, I think many people are looking forward to Christmas as a healing period. The rituals associated with the holidays--card-writing, shopping, getting together with others--can all help people recover and celebrate what they have. Instead of a time of stress, it's a time of joy.

Arlington, Va.: I'm not sure that 9/11 was a catalyst, but I think it played a role in a decision my husband and I have come to.

We basically don't see any point in participating in the rat race for the next 30 years. And we had originally planned to work at our current jobs for the next 10 years, build up a nest egg, and then move to the village in Europe where he grew up. Now, we don't see any point in putting it off for 10 years, so we've off in 2 years. We'll still be working, obviously, but not 60 hour weeks and not fighting traffic every day, and just enjoying life.

I guess what 9/11 did in spurring this decision forward was to make me realize that we may not be here in 10 years.

Abigail Trafford: Bravo for you. You show how 9/11 spurred you on your way. That's a positive consequence.-

Arlington, Va.: Abigail, have you ever seen the movie "Office Space"? It captures how I feel about my job some days. The problem is, how can I justify quitting my job so I can be "happier" when so many people don't have them?

Abigail Trafford: Only you can make that decision. It's not about what you think you should feel about your job or the fact that others are losing their jobs. You only need to justify your decision to yourself. . . and you live with the consequences. Good luck!

Redding, Calif.: I have been a city carrier for the USPS for the last l6 years and have always loved my job working with the public. On l0/23/01 I abandoned my position because of what my doctors say could have been a panic attack. I have had some issues with management since 9/ll/01 concerning security and safety and have felt generally frustrated and uninformed.
On l0/22/01 I was having an audio test because of a chronic ear infections, sinusitus and asthma that I suffer from at my ENT specialist's office. I have never had a problem like this before and it was very scary. After the technician put me in the soundproof booth she started to read words off a list and asked me to repeat each word into a small microphone. She held a piece of paper in front of her face and had only read about 4-5 words when I lost control. I started sobbing and couldn't get a hold of my emotions. I'm not sure if one of the words triggered my response or if it was just the piling up of all the stress of recent weeks. The first thing she said to me when I came out of the booth was, "Are you a postal worker?". The doctor was called in and he said that he couldn't help me with some upcoming surgery until I could get my emotions under control. I agreed and left. The next day at work I was again faced with some security issues with postal management and then while delivering mail I was approached by at least 5 angry or rude customers who wanted to make comments about the anthrax issue. I lost it again and went back to the station and quit my job.
My question is this: I have been prescribed an anti-panic drug called zoloft and I am seeing a psychologist to try and help me with this onslaught of fears. I try to stay informed but sometimes the information gets me going again.
Where should a person draw the line? I want to have the information but the information makes me panic. If I think that I don't have all the information then I panic because I'm afraid that something will happen and I won't be prepared.
Where should a person draw the line when it comes to public comments? I have always been more than helpful to my postal customers, but lately the comments are rude and insensitive. With an average of over 650 customers a day, there seems to be a constant barage of insults that add to my injuries!
Where should a person draw the line when their job is effecting their health but without the job they have no health coverage?
Since I haven't been working, I have felt so anti-American and disloyal because I'm not there --through rain, sleet, snow--and deadly disease!
Can you help?

Abigail Trafford: You are not being disloyal or anti-American. Quite the opposite. You obviously love your job and have been dedicated to serving others. You are doing absolutely the right thing--which is to seek medical help. You are going to your physician, consulting your psychologist, taking prescribed medicine. It takes time to heal. I wish you well.

Alexandria, Va.: I must have had a tremendously delayed reaction to the terrorism attacks -- I have just within the last few days begun to feel general anxiety and a consuming sense of dread, even though I've always been pretty rational and never previously felt scared to live so close to the Capitol.

I had been coping pretty well by continuing with my life and not getting rattled, but now, suddenly, I am rattled.

Abigail Trafford: Many people have a delayed reaction to a traumatic event. Counselors point out that the real impact of September 11 is not expected until 6 months afterward. They are bracing for an increase in people who are having trouble with anxiety and depression. I am not a therapist, but the general rule of thumb is that if your anxiety significantly interferes with your daily life, consult a physician.

Baltimore, Md.: Oh, I didn't know you were the author of "crazy time." I never read those types of books but it was recommended to me after my separation. I just wanted to thank you for a great book and recommend it to all out there.

Abigail Trafford: Many thanks!

Crofton, Md.: Wow! Didn't realize Crazy Time was your book! It helped me alot, thank you.

Abigail Trafford: I'm glad Crazy Time was a help!

Villanova, Pa.: As a result of 9-11, what can you do to reduce anxiety attacks?

Abigail Trafford: If you are having anxiety attacks that prevent you from moving on in your life, consult a physician. There are ways to manage anxiety attacks, through counseling and medication.

Sunnyvale, Calif.: Is it possible that our failure to address the massive psychological effects of 9/11 could lead America into a full-scale economic depression?

Abigail Trafford: I think we are addressing the psychological effects of 9/11--and that is a positive step. I don't think there's a cause-and-effect relationship between untreated psychological disorders and an economic downturn. Though I'm sure there's an association between psychological state and productivity.

California: I have served in the military for almost 20 years. I'm proud to be an American, before September 11 there was not a lot of patriotism in our country. My question is this, Americans of all ages have to realize that freedom comes at a price. The young people of this generation have to realize that they have to be willing to defend this country, if we are to remain free. John F. Kennedy said "Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country". I serve with soldiers that belive in this and I hope that the people in the America appreciate what we do for them.

Abigail Trafford: One of the positive consequences of the September 11 disaster is a resurgence of pride and love of our country. I believe strongly in the dictim: ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country. It takes leadership to show the way.

Abigail Trafford: Alas, our time is up. Thank you all for joining. I'm sorry not to get to all the questions. Let's meet again next week. Same time, same place.

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