BizBooks: Only a few hours left to get your questions in!

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BizBooks: We'll get started in a few minutes. Welcome to everyone!

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BizBooks: What's the focus of this latest book in particular?

Don Gabor: The focus of Turn Small Talk into Big Deals is that knowing your networking style -- its strengths and weaknesses -- and then adapting your style to the strenghts and weaknessess of the styles of others will increase your odds of making profitable business connections.

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BizBooks: Could you briefly describe the four networking styles you discuss in your book?

Don Gabor: The four networking styles are: Competitive, Outgoing, Amiable and Analytical. Here are brief descriptions:

Competitive Networking Style

Competitive Networkers are action-oriented and direct communicators, motivated by fast and measurable results. Confident and outgoing, they are usually the ones who
start conversations at networking events because they don't want to waste one minute waiting for somebody else to make the first move. They speak with purpose and get to
the point. They enjoy talking about their company's products and services, and how much better they are than their competitors. Without hesitation, they will debate anyone who challenges them or says otherwise.

Outgoing Networking Style

Outgoing Networkers are people-oriented and friendly communicators, motivated by recognition and personal contact. They love to make small talk while they effortlessly mix and mingle in business and social situations. To these natural communicators there's
no such thing as a stranger because they make friends so quickly.

Outgoing Networkers are optimistic, affectionate and warm individuals who easily connect with just about everyone they meet at networking events. They quickly build rapport with strangers, know how to win people over, and make even the shyest networkers feel more comfortable by creating a sense of trust.

Amiable Networking Style

Amiable Networkers are emotion-oriented and caring communicators, motivated by personal loyalty and teamwork. They are generally detail oriented and goal oriented
people, who work hard to achieve high standards for themselves and others. You can tell when you meet somebody in business or social situations with this networking style
because they frequently use words such as "we," "us," and "our team" when they discuss projects or experiences.

While Amiable Networkers are typically reserved and soft-spoken, they are usually friendly and open to meeting new people if someone else initiates the conversation. They can appear shy early on in the conversation but will participate freely once they feel comfortable about the people with whom they are speaking. Amiable Networkers are team players and prefer to network with others who are similarly oriented towards achieving success for their departments.

Analytical Networking Style

Analytical Networkers are extremely detail-oriented and careful speakers who are motivated by accuracy and strive for deeper meaning and understanding in conversations.
They approach conversations at networking events like they do the other things in their lives - by paying close attention to facts, logic, and above all, being correct. As a result, they communicate in a systematic, step-by-step manner, making sure they thoroughly cover each point they make.

Analytical Networkers consider networking an arduous task because it requires making small talk, which they often think of as boring and a waste of time. They prefer
one-on-one conversations about more weighty topics centered on their work. They tend to avoid groups where people appear to know one another and are talking about lighter, more informal topics.

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BizBooks: What makes small talk (as opposed to formal conversations--"big talk," you might say) so important to deal-making?

Don Gabor: Most people do business with those they know, like and trust and small talk gives us the opportunity to informally exchange information, buidl rapport and establish the relationship. It also allows us to: 1) convey and determine levels of receptivity, 2) reveal our values, goals and expectations, and 3) demonstrate our preferred style of communication.

Think of it this way, if you are uncomfortable with a someone just making small talk, how do you think you'll feel when you have to talk about really nitty-gritty business issues? On the other hand, if you are comfortble in an informal exchange, chances are you small talk will smooth the way for more serious business discussions.

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BizBooks: Can you think of any instances in your own professional life in which "small talk" and good conversation has lead to major development for yourself?

Don Gabor: Here is an instance of how small talk at 30,000 feet turned into a major development for two people.

While flying from NYC to California some time ago I started chatting with the fellow sitting in the seat next to me. It started with something as simple as "Are you traveling for business or pleasure?" and then moved to topics like business, travel, sports and food. The fellow told me he was heading for his second job interview for a big sales position with a large insurance company and asked me for some job interviewing tips. I was happy to help. Several hours later when we were about ready to land, we exchanged business cards and continued with more conversation about non-business topics. A few days later he sent me a "Thanks for your help." email. Then a few months later he emailed me with the good news--for him and me. His good news was he got the job and was now a regional rep. My good news was he wanted me to give a networking workshop at his staff retreat, which of course, I was more than happy to do!

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BizBooks: How do social-networking applications like Twitter play into your networking theory? Do they add to or detract from valuable conversation?

Don Gabor: Social networks like Twitter and Facebook play a new and useful role in networking, particularly in regards to small talk andknowingwhat to say after you say hello. In a face-to-face conversations "free informaton" is what people reveal without being asked and suggest topics that they want to talk about. On social networks like Twitter and Facebook people do the same thing and can serve a similar purpose. Their key words, implied and direct statements offer people conversational pathways that can lead to deeper conversations about a host of topics, including business.

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BizBooks: Now we'll open the floor to readers' questions.

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Pasadena, CA: How do you work a deal with someone you really don't like, but must work with?

Don Gabor: Adapting your communication style to better fit his or her style will usually result in a more productive working relationship. You might find that he or she isn't as bad, afterall.

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Portland, Oregon: Greetings Don. How can I find more opportunities to practice my conversational skills?

Don Gabor: I talk to people everywhere I go -- you can too.

Here is an exercise to practice your conversation skills. Make a list of all the places you normally go in a typical week--the store, gym, work, neighborhood shops, and so on. Then make it a point to greet the people you see there working or playing on a regular basis.

Start with basic ritual greetings and add the time of day: For example, "Hi, how are you this morning (afternoon, evening)." Add on an easy to answer question or light comment. No heavy topics! Most people will respond with a short ritual reply and some free information. Listen carefully.

Next time you see them, add something else on to your exchange. After a few exchanges, introduce yourself to the people who seem more friendly. Make an extra effort to remember and use their names.

Build on each conversation and soon you'll be chatting like you've known each other for years!

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Irvine, California: Don't most people feel "used" when they figure out you're chatting with them with the primary purpose of just "getting a lead...making a deal"?

Don Gabor: True, no one want to feel used. That's why it's important not to approach networking with only a "WIIFM" (What's in it for me?) attitude.

I chat and network with people to find out who they are and what they want out of life. I reveal the same things about myself. My goal is to find out where our interests and goals overlap and how we can help one another. When that happens, we will both benefit from our conversation and relationship.

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