Chatological Humor*
Gene Weingarten
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, July 20, 2004; Noon ET
*Formerly known as "Funny? You Should Ask."
Gene Weingarten's controversial humor column, Below the Beltway, appears every Sunday in the Washington Post Magazine. He aspires to someday become a National Treasure, but is currently more of a National Gag Novelty Item, like rubber dog poo.
He is online, at any rate, each Tuesday, to take your questions and abuse.
He'll chat about anything.
Submit your questions, comments and rants before or during the show. Cast your vote early in this week's poll!
Weingarten is the author of "The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life. And Death" and co-author of "I'm with Stupid," with feminist scholar Gina Barreca.
Colleagues on Weingarten:
"As for you, Weingarten, get a life. If you exercise every day, and get off the sauce, you will learn Deep Throat's identity, when we want you to know." -- Washington Post Vice President at Large Ben Bradlee
"Interestingly, he doesn't joke about poop in person (at least he never has with me)." -- Former Washington Post columnist Bob Levey
"W. attracts all of us loyal, devoted, strong yet vulnerable, affectionate women who lavish him with attention way beyond what he deserves." -- "I'm With Stupid" co-author Gina Barreca
"The truth is, Weingarten DOESN'T know who Lesley Stahl is. He's that out of it."
"Weingarten's hair is a national disgrace. Seriously his hair is a war crime." -- Washington Post staff writer Joel Achenbach
"The whole world is the butt of Gene's jokes...consider it a form of flattery." -- What's Cooking host Kim O'Donnel
"I do not even acknowledge the fellow columnist to whom you refer: He who shan't be named. I believe I once said he is filth, he is scum. He is... simply the worst thing in the world." -- Washington Post Reliable Source columnist Richard Leiby
Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control
over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.
Gene Weingarten: Good afternoon.
There was an unusually large amount of mail on my column on Sunday, which is linked to below. The letters seemed more or less evenly divided between people who saw it as Swift-worthy political satire, and those who wanted to scrape it off the bottom of their shoe into a plastic newspaper delivery sleeve, put it on my doorstep, set it on fire, and ring the bell.
Here is a typical letter from the complainers:
Dear Lenin:
What precisely did you want the president to do in those seven minutes in the classroom in Florida, run weeping from the room? There was nothing Bush could have done. He didn’t want to scare the children. I’m sure Kerry would have spent the time dithering/wringing his hands/soiling his pants etc. You seem to hate America. Why don’t you go to North Korea, where you will be happier?
Hoping you die soon,
Wesley Flankstake,
Gaithersburg
I sent some version of the below response to all complainants:
Dear Mr. Flankstake:
Thank you for writing. I am a humor writer, and much (though, sadly, not all) of what I write is what I would call “humor.” Humor tends to rely on exaggeration and reckless character assassination. Don’t blame me, I didn’t make these rules. I believe Groucho Marx did, but don’t hold me to that.
I agree with you, actually, that the movie “Fahrenheit 9/11” made too much of those seven minutes. I think the movie was unfair in that regard, and others. When I watched Bush sitting in that classroom, I did not see a man dimwittedly doing nothing while people burned to death, as Michael Moore seemed to be implying. Bush looked absolutely stricken. I am sure he was using the time to gather his thoughts.
The best teacher I ever had, when he gave an essay exam, used to write the question on the blackboard and then wait seven minutes before handing out paper. He was teaching us to think.
So, no, I do not blame Bush for those seven minutes, even a little bit. I blame him for not using those seven minutes wisely. I blame him for walking out of that classroom and then proceeding to do his best to systematically dismantle everything good about this country. I blame him for lying us into an unnecessary war, which is probably the greatest betrayal a leader can perpetrate upon his people. I blame him for being an ideologue and an opportunist, for taking a terrible tragedy and turning it into a political and social jihad. I blame him for taking a momentous action without adequately anticipating the consequences. I blame him for squandering lives, money, international goodwill, and the moral high ground. I blame him for cynically suggesting that patriotism is defined as adherence to his beliefs. I blame him for being a demagogue, fanning the flames of intolerance for political advantage. I blame him for making many good and loyal Americans embarrassed by their country. That was the real point of my column.
But the seven minutes? You are right. He’s clean, on that.
Wishing you only the best of health, I remain,
Etc, etc.
The good news -- This was one of the best comic weeks in memory. More than a dozen good strips, and several memorable ones. The cPOW for this week (it might be the cPOY!) was last Wednesday’s Zippy. (The day before was splendid, too.) Among the very worthy runners up are Monday’s Baby Blues, Monday’s Get Fuzzy, and today’s Mother Goose and Grimm. Because I am a really mean guy, I can’t forbear also calling your attention to Aaron ("Mr. Caricature") McGruder’s version of Bill Cosby.
Okay, let's go.
_______________________
washingtonpost.com:
Comic Pick of the Week:
Zippy the Pinhead, (July 14)
Also Rans:
Baby Blues, (July 19)
Get Fuzzy, (July 19)
Mother Goose and Grimm, (July 20)
Also Noted...
Zippy the Pinhead, (July 13)
Boondocks, (July 20)
Below the Beltway: Getting Bush's Goat, (Post Magazine, July 18)
Vote in today's poll. Or not.
_______________________
Washington, D.C.:
It appears from your description of "My Pet Goat," this wonderful story may be applied to our current situation in Iraq. Let me make some assignments of characters and situations within the story and let me know if they are correct.
Goat = Evil Dictator Saddam
Eating everything = Killing his own people and possibly, maybe thinking about building weapons
Little Girl = U.N., some Americans, the rest of the world
Dad = President Bush
Car Robber = Terrorists/Fundamentalists
So you are implying by getting rid of Saddam, the "Goat," we have in fact helped the terrorists, the "Car Robber," to do their evil deeds. When in fact the correct course of action would have been to deal with the killing of his own citizens, the "eating stuff," and listen to the everyone else in the world, the "little girl," and keep the goat around because not having the goat around will allow the car robber to get away.
Perhaps if our dad was reading the story more closely he may have gotten this message. I have a feeling that there was just so much on his mind with that whole terrorist attack thing, he may have forgotten the brilliant message delivered in this story. washingtonpost.com:
Below the Beltway: Getting Bush's Goat, (Post Magazine, July 18)
Gene Weingarten: That would be another view. I won't respond. I got my shot, he got his.
_______________________
Arlington, Va.:
Gene, I love you very much, but this week's column didn't turn me on. Political humor is so hard to do well. Unless the humor is really handled deftly, half the audience is immediately alienated, and the other half is only managing the cheap laughs of the "it's funny because I think it's true" variety. You're a creatively insane sort of guy, and your political humor just strikes me as picking low-hanging fruit.
I don't mean this as a partisan rant. I agree with a lot of your positions, and that's not the point. This would be just as troubling coming from the other direction. Think of it this way; I read your Sunday column, and I thought to myself, "he's turning into Dennis Miller." Is that really where you want to be? washingtonpost.com:
Below the Beltway: Getting Bush's Goat, (Post Magazine, July 18)
Gene Weingarten: And a third view. This is the first middle-of-the-road criticism. Thank you.
_______________________
Gene Weingarten: Oh, yes. The poll. Vote. I'll give you the right answers about a third of the way through.
_______________________
Pittsburgh, Pa.:
I enjoy your chats very much, but have wondered why you allow the derogatory comments from colleagues to be placed at the start of the chat? Aren't there some complimentary ones you could use?
Gene Weingarten: I am a masochist. Okay, the next one will do.
_______________________
washingtonpost.com:
Vote in today's poll. Or not.
_______________________
Atlanta, Ga.:
Can I thank you for the "Pet Goat" column? And your gay marriage and pledge of allegiance columns? There’s way too many people in the media today who are content to write a simple “he said, he said” only article without any real analysis. The absurdity of our government NEEDS TO BE MOCKED. And you are the greatest. Thanks.
Gene Weingarten: Now we'll move on.
_______________________
Enginerd City:
I have a writing style question for you. I recently graduated from engineering school and now have my first job with responsibilities beyond that of an intern. A lot of what I do now involves generating reports and editing other people's reports. Generally these reports are written by engineers about technical information for non-engineers so clear language is very important. I have a tendency to write in the passive voice, courtesy of learning latin at an impressionable age, and my boss is constantly rearranging passive sentences to active. Generally, the rearranged sentences then sound awkward and confusing. Is the passive voice inherently wrong or is this just a case of engineers learning the "rules" and following them?
Gene Weingarten: In writing, hard and fast rules are not in general favored by me. However, by and large it would seem to me that most concepts are more forcefully expressed when the verb has been preceeded by the noun taking the action that is being done. Also, participles are best to be avoided.
_______________________
Bone to Pi, CK:
Gene,
Last week, you called my response to the awful "I am the ringworm bearer" joke "the nerdiest analysis of humor ever." It's my time to defend myself. I have been witness to many an analysis of humor from you, Gene, in which you fault jokes for being forced or unnatural. As I said, it is unnatural for a ringbearer to introduce himself, especially to the bride and groom -- who, frankly, should know who he is -- and so introducing oneself as the ringworm bearer is absurd. It's not a realistic situation. Therefore, the humor in it is lessened by the fact that there is no reason why he should even be mentioning it. If the play on words was that funny -- and although clever, isn't itself worthy of CPOTW -- it should have been fit in some other way. Sorry, Gene.
Gene Weingarten: Nerdo, nerdo, nerdo.
Listen. A DOG has just showed up at the wedding. Dogs do not usually show up at weddings. Everyone turned to look at the DOG. There was an expectant pause. He puts on a sheepish smile and explains "I'm the ringworm bearer."
Nerdo.
To quote the Insult Dog: I bet the last time you saw women's genitalia was when you were born.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. I love that line. Sorry.
_______________________
Beautiful Silver Spring, Md.:
I am interested in your opinion on the selection for the Inker in this week's Style Invitational. For me, it was disappointing; the surface level of the joke was reasonably inventive, but the deeper level of the joke relied on a stale trope ("Bush is dumb") and didn't really add anything interesting or surprising to it. It was a semi-clever potshot, no less but no more, and I expect more from the SI. (Admittedly, the disappointment is somewhat mitigated by the fact that most of the entries printed in the paper were of the good-but-not-great category.) Please comment, if you would. Also if the Empress is in the house, perhaps she would deign to offer a few explicatory words. washingtonpost.com:
Style Invitational, (Post, July 18)
Gene Weingarten: You know, when the Czar was judging the Style Invitational, he would get letters all the time from people saying that the results were funny, but his choice of winners was just pathetically wrong. I now sometimes look at the Invitational and feel the same thing. Over the years, I have come to understand why this is. If you take 40 items, evaluated on a completely subjective basis, and then try to choose the five best, the chances of most people agreeing with you are infinitesimal.
I think these were quite good results, but yes, I would have chosen different winners. The Bush one was, I thought, a little too off-the-point (really a meta-entry) to be the overall winner. My winners probably would have included the one about the pucker in the crease, and the one about the horse and long face. I happen to know the Empress is not here reading this today, or I assure you she would politely disagree, and then hand me my head on a platter.
_______________________
Washington, D.C.:
Gene,
I liked your essay last Sunday. The ending was devastating and depressed me.
But I wanted to point out that the title of the story he was reading is "The Pet Goat" not "My Pet Goat" (see current New Yorker magazine for further details).
Best wishes.
Gene Weingarten: Everyone has gotten it wrong. It is The Pet Goat. I actually had a copy, and no one else did. I have it right here.
THE pet goat.
_______________________
Washington, D.C.:
Did you catch "Da Ali G" show on HBO last Sunday? Seems to me that Hollywood could learn something about creativity by watching closely and taking notes. washingtonpost.com:
For REAL! The Donaldson interview... priceless.
Gene Weingarten: I didn't see it, but I trust Liz. Liz is pist that I used a bad word a few posts back, so she might not be talking to me. Even though I like her.
_______________________
San Diego, Calif.:
Out of curiosity, are you liberal, moderate or conservative? For some time I assumed you were conservative, but the fact that you seem to prefer liberal comics and your opening to this chat seems to paint that you're liberal.
Also, what do you think of poodles?
Gene Weingarten: YOU THOUGHT I WAS CONSERVATIVE???
_______________________
Foggy Bottom's, UP:
During Carolyn Hax's chat last Friday at noon, someone submitted the following question and she answered it in earnest. Later on, someone wrote it to say she was the victim of a Martha Stewart joke, who's five month prison sentencing had just been announced. Guilty, Gene?
State, PENN: Hi Carolyn! I have a social courtesy question for you. I have a friend who just found out she'll be away from home for five months and she asked me to help out around her house. Clip the roses, feed the plants and house pets, trim the hedges, fold the napkins, prepare holiday feasts, etc. Normally, I would have no problem helping out but I just KNOW she has the cash to hire someone and I feel a little taken advantage of. How can I respond without hurting her feelings. Thanks!
Gene Weingarten: Yeah, she got scammed. Two things make it clear: Five months, and "fold the napkins."
_______________________
Allentown, Pa.:
Brilliant response to enginerd city.
Brilliant.
Gene Weingarten: Please consider yourself thanked by me.
_______________________
New York, N.Y.:
Do you have to go early or something? Why are you giving poll answers a third of the way through and not two-thirds? washingtonpost.com:
enh?
Gene Weingarten: Wha?
_______________________
Cubela, ND:
Gene,
Thought this might be up your humor alley... my friend fiddles for Nothin' Fancy, a Virginia bluegrass band that is actually quite good. One of their signature songs is entitled "I met my baby in the Porta-jon line." One of my favorite lines: "Who knew love could make you go Wheeee!" It's on their latest album Reflections (there, I plugged your album, are you happy Chris??).
I will not be so immature as to end this by saying poop.
(Ooops)
Gene Weingarten: The line is good enough for this shameless plug.
_______________________
Bad Newspapers:
Why doesn't the Post go national? I live in the Detroit area, home of two of the worst papers I've ever seen. Stories are printed twice on adjacent pages, stories stop abruptly, headlines have little or nothing to do with actual stories, investigative reporting that extrapolates from one sad case that drugs/cars/car seats/etc will kill us all. I can't take it any more!
Gene Weingarten: I worked for two years for the Detroit Free Press (1977-8)and it was a great paper. What happened is complicated, but the main culprit was the Joint Operating Agreement between the Freep and the News. It eliminated real competition. They are APPARENTLY competing, but not in a life and death struggle. So who gives a crap?
_______________________
Question for PTP:
Gene,
I read this somewhere, "..a short story whose name I've forgotton." That doesn't sound right but I can't think of a substitute word for "whose" and would have to construct the sentence in a different way. "Whose" is for a person/sentient being, right?
Thanks.
Gene Weingarten: the name of which
_______________________
I've been waiting for Tues:
Gene,
A parent's hopes dashed? There is an anti-dairy person called Brie.
Dairy Foods and Weight
Saturday, July 17, 2004; Page A18
I was disappointed that the July 10 letter by Brie Turner-McGrievy did not identify her as working for the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM). PCRM is an anti-dairy group that has received significant funding from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, a group that holds animal welfare in higher regard than human health.
Gene Weingarten: This is first class!
_______________________
Washington, D.C.:
Can you explain today's "Pearls Before Swine?" Pig clearly drank the shoe polish, which he says he found in the mini-bar. The desk clerk just as clearly says that there was no shoe polish in the mini-bar. washingtonpost.com:
Pearls Before Swine, (July 20)
Gene Weingarten: No, I cannot. I tried and tried. I have emailed Pastis for an explanation. Can anyone hazard what is going on here? Is this a bad error, or am I and the poster missing the gag?
_______________________
Clear English:
English major, writer and brownie woman here: Avoid passive voice if you can. It's unclear most of the time, and can be confusing. (Classic example, from Richard Nixon regarding Watergate: "Mistakes were made.")
Dave Barry did a great bit on this. Sadly, I didn't memorize it, but it charted the progression from something along the lines of
"Bob and I found a dead bat in the toilet" to
"The toilet was inspected by Bob and me and upon investigation the following was found: a dead bat."
Also, I had an '89 Mazda 323 until about a year ago. I loved that car: it was the only new car I've ever had, and I cried when it had to go. It may have been a piece of crap, but it was MY piece of crap.
Gene Weingarten: I STILL HAVE NOT GOTTEN RID OF THE CAR. I MAY RENEGE.
_______________________
Your letter to "Mr. Flankstake":
With your permission, the pithy (angry) part of that response is going to be e-mailed to all of my friends. And calliagraphed onto huge posters for my front door, car window and office wall.
Gene Weingarten: You have to include the whole letter.
_______________________
Hotda, MN:
This week's poll is wonderful. I await your analysis with trepidation. washingtonpost.com:
As do I.
Gene Weingarten: As do I!!
_______________________
Croc Tears in Golden State:
Gene, don't you think the kerfuffle over Der Guv's "girly man" comments is a bit overblown, even for the overly sensitive strain of Democrats found in California (I mean, kah-lee-FOR-nee-ah)? I mean, he should probably be chastised for doing a 10-year-old "Saturday Night" bit, but accusing him of being homophobic is downright laughable.
Gene Weingarten: Well, the remark is homophobic and insulting to women, but gimme a break. This was funny. The people complaining seem like real dorks. Actually, this is appropriate to the poll, isn't it?
_______________________
Arlington, Va.:
It's bad enough that I get subjected to the Post's bias on its Op-Ed page and in its news articles. But in the humor columns also is too much. Thus, just wanted to thank you for pushing me over the edge and convincing me to cancel my subscription.
As I told the lady who took my cancellation, humor writers should stick to humor.
Gene Weingarten: It's probably the right choice. Good for you. You'll like the Washington Times better.
_______________________
Fairfax, VA:
A hypochondriac question for you.
I have seen several television and print reports recently that address the "national epidemic of obesity."
Is it possible to have an epidemic of a self-inflicted disease? Is obesity actually a disease? washingtonpost.com:
You can discuss fat America with The Post's Michael Leahy at 1 p.m. ET.
Gene Weingarten: This was a really good story. And I think you are misunderstanding the problem if you define it as self inflicted. Few people would say that about, say, alcoholism.
_______________________
Chicago, Ill.:
Outside of "Doonesbury," "Boondocks," and perhaps Berk's comics, what exactly would be considered a liberal cartoon as opposed to conservative?
Gene Weingarten: I would say most cartoons that wax political tend to do so liberally. Non Sequitur does, for example.
Johnny Hart has at times waxed right.
_______________________
Waffling:
RENEGE? You can't renege! Or else people will figure out you are liberal!
By the way, I am a pretty solid conservative who still enjoys reading your political columns. Even if I don't agree, you have actual thought behind your beliefs and words, which few people have on either side of the debate.
Gene Weingarten: Holy cow. Honestly, this is the first such communication I have EVER received.
_______________________
Portland, Ore.:
"Pearls Before Swine" just wasn't that funny. See, there was shoe polish provided in the room -- it just wasn't in the mini bar. But Pig drank it! Because he's dumb! And didn't realize that he wasn't supposed to drink it until the clerk told him that the potable items are the ones in the mini bar! So, yeah, just not actually funny.
Gene Weingarten: But, but, he said the mini bar.
This was very weak for Pastis, if this is what it is.
_______________________
Hotel Room:
In my hotel room there is a mini bar (i.e. a college dormitory refrigerator), and then there is another area in the bathroom filled with all sorts of bottles of shampoo, conditioner and shoe polish. It sorta looks like a small bar full of liquor bottles there on the counter. So did the pig simply misunderstand that the thing that looks like a miniature bar is just a collection of toiletries and that the refrigerator was where he should go to drink?
Gene Weingarten: Actually, I prefer to think this is what he was doing. Ok.
_______________________
Alexandria, Va.:
I have no patience for people who complain about the criticism of Bush by saying "what should he have done -- scare the children and run screaming from the room?" Let's put it in terms they might get: you're sitting in a business meeting (one that's not very important) and your assistant tells you that a call just came in from the fire department saying that your house is ablaze. Should you just sit there and continue the meeting or should you excuse yourself and leave to see what's going on? No, Bush shouldn't have run screaming from the room, but he should have calmly excused himself and left to find out what was happening, and there's no excuse for not doing so immediately.
Gene Weingarten: Honestly, on this issue, I think, give the guy a break. Have you always behaved perfectly in a crisis?
This ain't my problem with Bush.
_______________________
I Am Not A Cro, OK:
Gene,
Saw "All The President's Men" last night at Screen on the Green. What, in your opinion, was the funniest thing about Watergate?
Gene Weingarten: Watergate was pretty funny, top to bottom. You can't beat Richard Nixon as a comic leading man. And Liddy was terrific! A hoot! My vote goes to Anthony Ulasewicz (sp?), the bagman cop.
_______________________
Lunch Ti, ME:
I think you need to have words with your pre-pubescent artist. I'm not sure who the goat caricature was suppose to be – Bush, Saddam or maybe even Castro, but it looked like John Cleese pulling one of his stupid faces. Was this deliberate? I seriously doubt someone as young as your illustrator knows who he is.
Gene Weingarten: Did anyone else have any problem knowing who the goat was????
_______________________
Waffling again:
Okay, I am confused. Am I the first person who said ditch the car, or the first conservative who enjoys your column because you think before you write it?
Gene Weingarten: I've never been told by a conservative letter writer that he respects my right to express a political opinion, or that anything I said has been anything other than wrong, stupid, ill-considered, and unAmerican.
_______________________
Gene Weingarten: I JUST GOT AN EMAIL FROM PASTIS, EXPLAINING THE JOKE.
Here it is:
"Pearls" is set in a post-apocalyptic world.
_______________________
Rockville, Md.:
Boy, that guy cancelled his subscription because the humor and Op-ed which make up two pages day during the weekdays (and really, he must at least look forward to Novak's column and his outting of CIA agents), and your humor page, which is one page per week. He cancelled the paper over what is probably 1/100 of the content. God knows what he'll do when Kerry wins the elections and Dems take back Congress.
Gene Weingarten: He will have no choice but to immolate himself.
_______________________
Grammar Questi, ON:
Please help me.
Consider that I am Fred's friend.
Am I a friend of Fred, or, Am I a friend of Fred's?
The latter strikes me as redundant, the first as a bit fancy-schmancy.
Thank you Your Geniusness.
Gene Weingarten: Wow.
I don't know.
I think maybe both. And pthep is not around.
_______________________
Washington, D.C.:
Could you please this Sunday's "Opus?" I don't get it. At all. Maybe it's just not funny. washingtonpost.com:
Can anybody really please this Sunday's "Opus?"
Gene Weingarten: Haha. Why are people having trouble with Opus?
The new character, Pickles, sees herself as a modern cultural avenger. She took the tires off a car illegally parked in handicap space, and she is going to saw off the unsightly sides of a piggish Hummer.
What's not to understand, or like?
_______________________
Car Talk:
I'm sure you know this already, but if not--Tom & Ray on Car Talk opened their show this week by reading an excerpt from the Gene & Gina column about the second date ("The Story of Adele H"). They only read the beginning (where you just kept calling Adele a whack job), however, so you came off as more of a clever lout than a biting satirist.
Gene Weingarten: I am guessing you heard a rerun. They did that about a year ago.
_______________________
Pastis' Response:
Brilliant. Almost makes up for his poopy cartoon today. Very close, but not quite.
Gene Weingarten: I know, I'm impressed.
_______________________
Gene Weingarten: MORE FROM PASTIS:
Sorry, couldn't resist the BC reference.
The shoe polish just came from elsewhere in the room. Pig can't distinguish the mini-bar from any other location in the room. All in all, a weak joke.
This raises a larger issue that I always struggle with: Whenever I do a series, the hardest part is the opening strip and closing strip, because instead of focusing on just being funny, you have another goal in mind (to either lay out the groundwork or wrap things up). This makes a case for only doing gag-a-day strips. Also, when you do series, you often go on too long (see your comments on the Bootyworth series). I'd be interested on your reader feedback on this: What's better, the gag-a-day strips or the series?
_______________________
Gene Weingarten: Okay, here is the poll analysis:
On this question, all of the first three choices are correct. An ethnic joke, if it is funny, derives its humor from a combination of all three factors, particularly the third. (Yes, ethnic jokes are impolite, but they can be funny. It’s a razor’s edge, though: When they are NOT funny they are doubly bad because they expose the joketeller as not just humor impaired, but a jackass.)
Only choice four is wrong. Being of the ethnicity being poked fun at neither inoculates the joketeller from criticism nor confers additional humor to the joke. Here is a hypothetical example. The ethnic group being made fun of: black people. The joketeller: Mister Clarence Thomas.
The only correct answer to question two is the last one.
There is no correct answer to the last question. The distribution of YOUR answers is interesting, though.
_______________________
Pthep and the Czarina:
WHAT? The Czarina is not around today, and neither is pthep? What kind of an amazing coincidence is that!
Gene Weingarten: You know women. They're probably both off shopping together.
_______________________
Re: All the President's Men:
OK, I am about the reveal my age here, but I too just watched ATPM, and I was wondering if the Liddy in the movie is the same... ummm... vocal talk show host on talk radio, P. Gordon Liddy. If so, I am really agast. washingtonpost.com:
You're "aghast" and here is a Liddy bio.
Gene Weingarten: You thought there would be TWO G. Gordon Liddy's?
_______________________
Gag-a-day:
I vote for gag-a-day with a week or two thrown in with a theme every so often.
Gene Weingarten: Me, too.
_______________________
Gambrills, Md.:
Speaking of the Washington Times, have you ever interviewed anyone working over there and asked them what it's like to work for the Messiah? (The perks have to be excellent!)
Gene Weingarten: I did do a whole column on this, which they did not like. Liz, any chance of finding it? It was about a year ago, and had rev. moon in it, and several presidents, including jefferson.
_______________________
Lansing, Mich.:
Unless they're actually good at telling stories, cartoonists should stick with the gag-a-day strips. And they shouldn't run any series longer than a week - it's never as funny to the rest of us as THEY think it is.
Gene Weingarten: Oooh, I note where this came from, and give it special weight.
_______________________
For Pastis:
Speaking for myself, since I'm the one speaking, I prefer serial strips with an occasional gag-a-day thrown in.
Gene Weingarten: Okay....
_______________________
I'm in love with Gene!:
Just now jumping online to read your chat. Love your letter to the Flankstakes of the world. May I send this on to various friends, with complete attribution to you of course?
Sincerely,
Your fish-hook eye girl.
Gene Weingarten: Sure. And thanks for the pictures of your hook and eye. HOOK AND EYE.
_______________________
Rockville, Md.:
When I read the thing from Patsis, milk shot out my nose -- and I don't even drink milk.
Gene Weingarten: Ewww.
_______________________
Dupont Circle, Washington, D.C.:
What is the funniest thing a person could do in his or her office elevator?
Gene Weingarten: Leave a dead yak there. My son suggests waiting till someone else is there and yelling "Omigod, can't you hear it, the cable is breaking!"
_______________________
Alo, NE:
How does Sunday's "Get Fuzzy" influence your view of Rob living in a solipsistic universe? Rob does not appear in the strip, and there is a non-regular outside visitor.
Moist. washingtonpost.com:
Get Fuzzy, (July 18)
Gene Weingarten: Yes, several people have noted this. I am ready to yeild on this subject. Reluctantly.
_______________________
Inquiring Mindy's Want To Know....:
How do you know it's really Pastis, or Trudeau, or whomever writing into the chat? Do you have a secret code you give out to the muckity mucks of comedy, so you know when they're gracing your chat with their presence? Or are you tempting fate that you may be had by a prankster genius?
If one of 'em says "Baba Bouie," I'm running screaming into the night....
Gene Weingarten: I contacted Pastis on an email address I know to be him. Same with the others.
_______________________
Liarli, AR:
How can this not be the funniest thing you have ever heard, courtesy of Clintoncrook Sandy Berger:
"In the course of reviewing over several days thousands of pages of documents on behalf of the Clinton administration in connection with requests by the Sept. 11 commission, I inadvertently took a few documents from the Archives," Berger said.
"When I was informed by the Archives that there were documents missing, I immediately returned everything I had except for a few document that I apparently had accidentally discarded," he said.
---
How do you "inadvertantly" take something, then throw it out?
Not funny -- the post.com has this buried beneath all the headlines in tiny tiny print under the Politics link. Where would this story be if it was about Dick Cheney stealing and then throwing away documents pertaining to Enron and the energy commission? Sad.
Gene Weingarten: I'd really like to know what, precisely, he took. I am guessing it is not something that makes him look great.
_______________________
Virginia:
A friend just told me that the president of Turkemenistan (one of our allies in the war against terror, I believe) has renamed the months of the year: One after his mother and 11 after various variations of his own name. Can the Style Czar get similar perks?
Gene Weingarten: I have no doubt this is true. When Bob Kaiser went to Turkmenistan (he did an excellent story on Turkmenbashi the Great) he brought me back a watch he bought there. It was a Turkmenbashi the Great watch. His face on it.
Liz, can we link to Bob's story? About a year ago. Are you still talking to me?
_______________________
Bowie, Md.:
If an elevator's cable broke it would NOT plummet to the basement.
Modern elevator shafts have a series of gear-like teeth down the side, and the car is just passed from one to the next. If the cable breaks, the car just stays where it is.
It would ruin the economic viability of elevators if one plummeted to ground level even once.
Gene Weingarten: Um, yeah,but how many people KNOW this?
_______________________
Goshen, Md.:
Gene,
By conceding that you may have picked different winners than the Empress in this week's SI, doesn't that negate your position that humor is an absolute?
(p.s. My husband, bless his heart, is a pretty conservative guy, but he likes you and recognizes that Bush is evil.)
Gene Weingarten: Not at all. I am right.
_______________________
washingtonpost.com:
Yes, of course. Please, give me more links to find while you push the limits of decency.
_______________________
Alexandria, Va.:
You may be interested in this clock, though it isn't old.
Also, here's a place I wouldn't want to go.
Gene Weingarten: These are both good. I have linked to the clock before, but it is worth repeating. It is one of my favorite websites. Despite the misspelling.
_______________________
washingtonpost.com:
Bob Kaiser's Central Asia Diary
_______________________
Plymouth MN:
Ever done a story on attempts to ban books? Here's an interesting site, from the American Library Association: Challenged and Banned Books.
We've given it to our daughter as a recommended reading list. We just read #10 on the list to her:
"Bridge to Terabithia" by Katherine Paterson, for offensive language and occult/satanism.
It's set somewhere in the DC exurbs, in a country-hick sitting. The ex-city kid is nonreligious, and she and the country kid invent an imaginary Narnia type world, and occasionally say things like -- "Oh, spirits, stop it from raining!" That's it! It's not even the central part of the book, which is mostly about conquering childhood fears and dealing with mean kids.
Gene Weingarten: One of my favorite t-shirts has an image of the American flag made from the titles of books that have been banned. I have it in front of me. Here are some titles:
The Giving Tree, The Stupids Step Out, Flowers for Algernon, Death of a Salesman, The Diary of Ann Frank, Mein Kampf, and the Bible.
_______________________
Columbia, Md.:
Gene, who has been our funniest President? Two categories, intentional and unintentional.
Gene Weingarten: Unintentional: Nixon. Then, Ford.
Intentional: Lincoln was very witty. He once, in a legal argument, said his opponent's argument was "as thin as a soup made from the shadow of a chicken that had starved to death."
Kennedy was very funny.
I'm not enough of a presidential scholar to know, though.
_______________________
Washington, D.C.:
I find it hard to believe that e-mail from the conservative who likes your column was the first such communication you have ever recieved.
I'm a life-long Republican, but I hate Bush for leading the country into an unneccesary war. I may not be registered in the same party as you are, but if you are going to skewer a lying president, I'm going to enjoy your columns. I suspect there are many like minded Republicans out there as well.
Gene Weingarten: Well, dang. I really want to end on this note. Thank you all. See you next week.
_______________________
| 
