Washingtonpost.com: Live Online

Something too personal may send the message you're too anxious; nothing at all may also be a signal. Valentine's Day has a way of bringing these sticky questions to the fore as we ponder our gift choices as to what they say about what we feel. Is the relationship ending? Have you been dating for years?

Talk to us about what you're thinking of getting the man/ woman in your life. What kind of Cupid's arrow are you sending?

Join washingtonpost.com Shopping editor Janet Bennett to talk about shopping for Valentine gifts.

Below the transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

Janet Bennett: Greetings, all you savvy shoppers and love birds. It's time to talk about the goodies you're thinking of sending to your favorite squeeze this Valentine's Day.

McLean, Va.: I'm submitting in advance as I won't be able to join at 2:00. My girlfriend is moving into a new studio apartment over Valentine's Day weekend. I'd like to get her a gift that would kind of double as a V-Day present. She has most of the basics covered. I was thinking about a small piece of artwork for her wall. Price range is $60-$90. Here's the catch - she lives in Boston so I'll need to carry it on the plane with me. Any ideas would be appreciated!

Janet Bennett: Hi, McLean,

What a good, practical idea. I love it. Ten Thousand Villages sells art objects made by artisans from Third World countries (places in Africa, Indonesia, etc). They have lovely things that are not costly. They have stores in Alexandria and Bethesda, but they also have locations in Brookline and Cambridge. They also have a website. Take a look.

Rockville, Md.: I've been dating this guy for about a month, and was thinking of getting him a nice cologne for V-Day (he doesn't currently wear cologne). Do you think that's okay, or is it too personal for a new relationship?

Janet Bennett: Hi, Rockville,

I don't think cologne is too personal; however, my question would be is there a reason this guy doesn't wear it already?
I'd just make sure he's not allergic to it.

New York, N.Y.: Should I buy a gift for my stepdaughter, and if so, what do you suggest. She is 35. Is there something small that would be a nice token.

Janet Bennett: There are so many luscious lotions and soaps on the market that would just be perfect for that kind of token gift. Try Bluemercury in Georgetown, Saks Fifth Avenue (first floor), Bellacara in Alexandria. Even Whole Foods.

Herndon, Va.: I've never actually done this, but it sounds like fun! I got the idea from watching the Bachlorette. I bought a couples massage from a place in Herndon called Serenity Day Spa. It says that you will have massages side by side. My husband would never go for a massage by himself so this will new thing for both of us.

Janet Bennett: Hi, Herndon,

Great idea. I've been to Serenity Spa and I think they do good work and are very solicitous of their clients.

Washington, D.C.: What if you are with a guy who thinks Valentine's day is overrated? I'm mushy, he's not. I like getting him stuff because I want to but I'm not sure if it is selfish of me to expect anything from him. Plus he's got a lot going on personally right now.

Janet Bennett: Hi, Washington,
Your guy is not alone. I think it's perfectly fine to get him something, but I wouldn't necessarily expect him to reply in kind.

Manhattan, N.Y.: Is there something cute I can buy myself just in case my significant other forgets to buy me something?

Janet Bennett: Hi, Manhattan,

My significant other is not really tuned into Valentine's Day, so most every year I get myself an orchid. Last year I got him one, too. He loved it!!

Washington, D.C.: Fun and easy gift -- buy a few bags of candy hearts (couple different brands). Pick out the cute phrases that would mean something to you boy/girlfriend. Take the hearts and glue them onto construction paper folded like a card. Homemade card and gift!

Janet Bennett: Move over, Martha.

Washington, D.C.: Boyfriend's going to be out of town on business for V-Day but I'd like to send him off with something practical but loving to take on his trip...any ideas?

Janet Bennett: My first reaction is to send a picture of you with a card, but that doesn't fit your practical requirement. Is this a long trip?

Falls Church, Va.: What exactly is a couples massage? Is it a romantic setting?

Janet Bennett: Massages that are given side by side in the same room.

New York, N.Y.: Any suggestions for the perfect gift to give somebody very special from somebody on a tight budget?

Janet Bennett: Greetings, New York, NY:

For that very special someone from someone on a tight budget, I recommend going to a florist (and lucky you, there are so many in NYC) and getting one stem in blushing pink of a French tulip. Ask them to wrap it up in some pretty paper. Very romantic and elegant.

Somewhere, USA: Business Travlling BF: Yes - he'll be gone 2-3 weeks...I thought maybe putting a bag together with a few things could serve both purposes.

Janet Bennett: Does he like to work out? If so, find some portable weights.
They'll keep him looking fit.

Richmond, Va.: I'm working on a limited budget and I want to know what kind of gift would say a lot but not break the bank at the same time. I really care for this girl and I want her to know it. I'm doing the flower thing and I'm cooking her dinner but what else can I do? My budget is around $100. Thanks

Janet Bennett: Hi, Richmond,

I'm so impressed. I also have no doubt that this girl knows that you really care about her. A home-cooked dinner with candles and flowers is what most girls dream that their boyfriends would do. How about a book of poetry?

Alexandria, Va.: When is Valentine's day?

Is there such a thing as diabetic candy for Valentine's day? Are there other foods besides candy one can give?

Janet Bennett: Hi, Alexandria,
Valentine's Day is a week from today, February 14. And yes, there is such a thing as candy for diabetics. Harbor Sweets (harborsweets.com) has a large selection of sugar-free candy (mostly chocolate) that tastes really good. I have a friend who's a diabetic and has sampled lots of it from them.

East Brunswick, N.J.: Dear Janet,

I am with my boyfriend for a long time and I would like to get him something special for Valentine's Day. The problem is that every year it becomes harder to get him something because we've been together so long, so the usual gifts have already been done. I'd like to do something creative and special to show him how much I love him. Any suggestions?

Janet Bennett: Hi, East Brunswick,

I don't know what you've done already, but what about making a video or a photo album with the two of you as stars. You may not have time for the first, but if you have photographs, all you need to get is an album to put them into. That would be a lovely and lasting gift.

Arlington, Va.: My boyfriend is a Starbucks FREAK. He like a lot of guys isn't mushy about Valentine's Day. I got him a really cute bear and then also a Starbucks card with $50 on it. It's a gift he'll actually use. I'll probably end up with the bear, but i loved it!

Janet Bennett: To any of you who have boyfriends who are coffee (starbucks)
addicts as well.

Alexandria, Va.: I'm thinking about getting my gf a massage for V-Day. I've never been to one, so I was wondering are you suppossed to tip the person like you would tip a food server or hairdresser?

Janet Bennett: I believe the same protocol goes for the person who gives you a massage as for the person who cuts your hair, etc.

Arlington, Va.: What a neat discussion topic!

I'm a chick who is clueless about buying a gift for her guy. We live together, dating about 1 1/2 yrs. Last year, I thought "go with his techno side" and got two DVDs (well, he likes them at least). He got me a gorgeous necklace so naturally I feel like a little cheapskate.

So, I'm trying to do better this time. I'm already doing a home cook'd dinner with candles...so now a gift which is why I'm here.

He likes sports (mostly football), music (but he's got all the CDs he likes!), Playstation (again, he has what he wants), Books (again...). However, he is definitely a more romantic type than I am, so maybe a gift along those lines? Help Me!!!

Janet Bennett: Hi, Arlington,

I have no idea of your budget, but what about a weekend away. I'm thinking of some place like Cool Font in West Virginia that's quite reasonable but also offers active options like hiking.

Ellicott City, Md.: What would be a good idea for new person in my life who happens to be long distance. We are still at the "friends" level, but I'd like to send something. I was thinking about some kind of sweet treat (homemade), but I'm open to other ideas as well.

Janet Bennett: Are you creative, Ellicott City?

How about a homemade Valentine card like someone suggested earlier in this discussion?

Somewhere, USA: Event tickets: What do you think about getting tickets for two to an event you think your SO would like? Is that a good idea?

Janet Bennett: Tickets are always a good idea in my book. It gives both of you something to look forward to.

Bethesda, Md.: Does Leonidas have any interesting chocolate boxes for Valentine's day like it did last year? (the box with all of the paper roses on top).

Janet Bennett: I don't know about Leonidas, but shops like Pastry Design in Bethesda, Patisserie Poupon and Amernick's Bakery all offer pretty packaging.

Woodbridge, Va.: Do you know were I can find someone to do a "telegram?" I'm not really sure how is called but I would love to surprise my husband by sending someone all dressed up to his office to give him a nice Valentines's poem or song.

Any ideas? Please advise! Thanks!

Janet Bennett: ROSExpress in downtown D.C. has couriers in tuxedos who deliver roses, but I don't think the service is always available. Check with them.

Crystal City, Arlington, Va.: Which is a better gift for the bf--cologne (which he doesn't currently wear but has been trying to find a good scent) or a dvd--which he would also enjoy. Is a dvd too non-romantic for valentine's day ?

Janet Bennett: Better depends on what he likes. It's totally personal.

New York, N.Y.: My husband is over 60 (barely) and still dresses like he was in college. I would like him to look more sophisticated. What can I buy him for Valentine's Day that will please him and please me as well? And also, of course, show him that I love him.
Thank you, Janet.

Janet Bennett: It's pretty hard to change someone's style of dress diplomatically. I like the Faconnable dept. at Nordstrom. The style is sophisticated preppy. Why don't you take a look there?

Washington, D.C.: I want to get a very thoughtful, small gift for my boyfriend. We have only been dating a few months, but it is serious enough that I can't just get him anything, yet it hasn't been long enough for me to go out and buy anything too big. To make matters worse, we aren't even going to be able to see each other on v-day, so I want to get him something special that will mean a lot since we are not spending that day together. Please help!

Janet Bennett: It's hard to give you advice when I don't know anything about the person you're talking about. How about something for his apartment? Maybe an easy-to-care-for plant?

Virginia: How can I ask what her figure size is?

Janet Bennett: Virginia,

Dress size is not classified info. Don't be afraid to just ask.

Somewhere, USA: Newly-smitten Chica: Hi Janet!

Please help. I'm agonizing over what to get for my guy! We're both in our early 30s and we've only been dating for a month, so I don't want to over-do it (which I've been known to do in previous relationships). But I really like him, so I don't want to get something too impersonal. All I've come up with so far is cologne -- what do you think? Any other ideas? Thank you so much!

Janet Bennett: Do you know what his favorite cologne is; does he use after-shave? I think that's entirely appropriate for a relationship that's just getting under way.

Somewhere, USA: What is the story of Valentine's again? Maybe a gift on what the real story about what the holiday is about is a good one.

Janet Bennett: Anybody out there know the story of St. Valentine?

Washington, D.C.: Mushy and he's not again. What can I do to hint that it would be nice for him to do something?!

Janet Bennett: Don't push. I've found that it usually doesn't work and can have the opposite effect of what you want.

Washington, D.C.: Thanks for the chat...this is fun.

My boyfriend and I are going to Cool Font for the V-day weekend. Can you think of something around $50-$100 that would be nice to surprise him with while we're there?

Janet Bennett: How about a sweater? If winter continues like it has been, Cool Font is going to be cold!

Staten Island, N.Y.: Janet,
You've given other people such great suggestions. I have a Valentine's shopping problems that has been driving me crazy. My boyfriend always asks me what I want for Valentine's Day and then buys it for me. It's never a surprise! It's nice, I know, but just once I'd like to be surprises. Is there a store I can send him to where he'll be comfortable, the salespeople will be helpful, and he can find something that I'll be happy with? Thanks.

Janet Bennett: Hi, Staten Island,

I share your dilemma. My significant other doesn't seem to have any surprises up his sleeve either. Is he afraid that you won't like something he picks out?? Since I don't know what you like it's hard for me to recommend a particular store. I'll give it a try, though. Periwinkle in upper Northwest has a big selection of knickknacks, calendars, candies and accessories and the salespeople are extremely helpful. Give it a whirl.

Janet Bennett: That's all we have time for today. But thanks everyone for sending in their questions, ideas and comments. Love hearing from you. 'Til we talk shop again.

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