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Bob Levey
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Julia Baugher |
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Q&A with Bob Levey
Bob Levey
Washington Post Columnist
Friday, October 10, 2003; Noon ET
"Levey Live" appears every other Friday at noon ET. Your host is Washington Post columnist Bob
Levey. This hour is your chance to talk directly to key Washington
Post reporters and editors, local officials and people in the news.
Today, Bob's guest was Julia Baugher, sex columnist for the Georgetown Hoya.
Baugher's weekly column, entitled Sex on the Hilltop, was a hit last year, echoing the success of college dating columns around the country. Of course, attempting to write a column at a conservative Catholic University proves to be problematic at times.
Media outlets such as The Chicago Tribune, Fox News channel’s The Big Show, and National Public Radio have all noted the splash Julia has made on the Georgetown campus. Julia also garnered local fame when The Washington Post’s former gossip columnist Lloyd Grove reported on her relationship with Rep. Harold Ford (D-TN) -- one of People’s 50 Most Beautiful People in 2001 -- last April.
In her senior year at Georgetown, Baugher is currently in the dual bachelors/masters program in American government. She expects to receive her BA in May of 2004 and her MA in 2005.
The transcript follows.
Editor's Note: washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control
over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.
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Bob Levey:
Good afternoon, Ms. Baugher, and thanks for joining us today on "Levey Live." Let's begin with a look at what "Sex on the Hilltop" has done for (and to) your social life. Do men seek you out because they think you'll be, uh, willing? Or do they avoid you because they think you'll tell all in your next column?
Julia Baugher: Hi Bob - It's great to be here. (I feel like I'm in a game show, saying that). So - let's see - Sex on the Hilltop has been pretty darn good for my social life. I do get the people who disapprove, sure, but they probably wouldn't have asked me out anyway. Men seek me out - I think at least - because I'm open minded. I actually have three dates this weekend! That having been said, I have an Ex Boyfriend who broke up with me about two weeks ago, mainly because he was worried about what I would write about him ;)
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Washington, DC:
How much do you owe to Rachael Klein, the Berkeley student who pretty much jumpstarted the whole genre 2 years ago, lifting it into the quasi-mainstream?
Julia Baugher: Actually, not much. I owe more to Candance Bushnell, who put the idea in my head - I actually believed I had thought of this great new thing - Hey! Sex and the City the College Years. Guess a few others thought of it too.
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Bob Levey:
Serious question: If I want a little dose of casual sex on today's college campus, where do I go to accomplish that if I have three roommates?
Julia Baugher: The bathroom. hahaha ... actually I'm not kidding.
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Bob Levey:
Re your column about Boxers or Briefs--
Would you really select (or avoid) a man based on which undies he proves to be wearing? This would seem to make zero difference, whether we're talkin' hook-up or 35-year marriage.
Julia Baugher: It would seem to make zero difference, but ummm ... it does. Turnoffs are turnoffs! And yes, briefs are a turnoff.
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Chicago, IL:
As someone who graduated from Georgetown in 2000, I want to know if the culture has changed so much that a sex columnist would need to answer any questions besides proper etiquette for drunken hook-ups and complaints about how nobody at the school ever dates anyone.
Julia Baugher: I must admit, Georgetown definitely has that reputation. But so does every university nowadays (Nowadays ... hmm ... I feel so old saying that). Actually, I'm quite tired of all the complaining about "no one ever dates, poor me, all i can do is hook up with people drunkenly." There's only one way to fix that - go START dating. I haven't found any problem doing it - I've found it to be more of a problem that people aren't interested in getting to know "strangers."
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Annandale, Va.:
Do you ever receive creepy fan mail or hate mail? If so, how do you handle it? Do you respond to your detractors, or do you ignore it?
Julia Baugher: Yep, definitely. All from guys, oddly enough. I had a stalker for the last 11 weeks ... that wasn't too much fun, I'll admit. As far as the creepy fan mail, I get a lot of questions like "what should I do if my girlfriend finishes first?" (um ... be worse in bed??) and "what style of [grooming] technique do you suggest?" (i put that in more family-friendly terms). Only occasionally do I respond to my detractors - mainly because they usually don't have very good arguments. If there's a genuine debate, I'm up for it. If they're just bitter they're not getting action, well ... not much I can do.
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Herndon, Va.:
You mentioned you have 3 dates this weekend. Isn't it a no-no to say this publicly and let all 3 know they are just one of three?
Julia Baugher: Hopefully they're not reading this ;) No, seriously, I believe in Dating wtih a lowercase "d" - meaning, you can date multiple people at one time without ethical complications. Notice I did not say "have sex with" 3 people at one time. That's another question entirely.
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Bob Levey:
What's it like to have your mother act as your editor?
Julia Baugher: I love it!! She's amazing. It's actually made our relationship much closer ... she was in DC when she was 22 years old, as a speechwriter for Nixon. I think because we've had experiences that mirror each other (okay, she wasn't a sex columnist in the Nixon whitehouse, but go with me here), she understands me. Actually, we just finished editing my column for next week - on virginity. :) that was a lot of fun. She'd definitely getting "hip" to the college slang, like "booty calls" and ... well ... other things I can't write here ;)
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Washington, D.C. :
Julia...
I would imagine you get this question a lot, but how do you deal with the obvious: Sex columnist = she's easy equation? Along those lines do your dates/partners assume you're an expert in the bedroom?
Julia Baugher: Oh yes, according to the latest Ex Boyfriend, there are those who figure I'm "easy." Personally, I'm against words like that; they're so misleading. What the heck does "easy" really mean, anyway?? For that matter, what's a slut, a whore, a tease? I know guys who say they know one when they see one, but I call bs on that double standard. Hmm. Sorry, ranting tangent. Do my partners expect me to be an expert in the bedroom? Yep. And at the risk of sounding ... umm ... really egocentric, I don't disappoint. It's not that I was born with innate skills or anything - it's just that I took the whole thing seriously, got books, studied up, asked my partners what they liked, was willing to experiment.
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Bob Levey:
Didn't at least one other campus sex columnist pose in the altogether, in Playboy? Any plans to do the same?
Julia Baugher: yep, the Daily Kansan. Not sure if I would pose in the buff ... the whole DC puritan thing is pretty deeply ingrained in my nature. That and my father would die.
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Germantown, Md.:
Can your column be read online?? I'm 29 and still need help !! ....and I'm not kidding..
Julia Baugher: yep, you can read them at: http://www.thehoya.com/columnists/hilltop.cfm
I doubt we ever reach an age where we don't need help!!
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Palookaville:
Why isn't the column called "Hoya Sexa"?
Julia Baugher: They finally let me run a column with that headline, but I had to FIGHT for it. The editors were NOT fans of that bastardization of our lovely little motto.
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Bob Levey:
Once upon a time, marriage pressure (or marriage potential) hung in the air during every college date (at least for the female). Does it hang still?
Julia Baugher: Nope! Isn't that interesting? NONE of my friends - male or female - is remotely interested in getting married anytime soon (we're talking within the next five years). Now, given that I haven't lived in prior decades, I'm not sure if this is a big change. I'm guessing it is ;) but I think it's a good thing. I suppose one could wonder if we're extending childhood too long ... but maybe that's a different issue. Regardless, my peers are interested in having a single life at least until their mid 20s ...
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Bob Levey:
What if I said that your columns are very long on dating and human foibles and very short on actual sex? You know, the mechanics, the play-by-play, the roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd. Fair criticism? Or is this just another way in which the lid is on at a place like Georgetown?
Julia Baugher: There is no way in HECK I would be able to print actual sex ... stories, advice, description. This virginity column I have coming out will prove to be the most "controversial" I've ever written, and believe me, it's really not that out there. I've already made a bet with my mom about which lines the editors will try to cut out.
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Bob Levey:
Please tell us honestly how much of a factor alcohol is in the frequency of campus sex. Is it possible/advisable/cool to ply a young lady with Jim Beam in an effort to render her unconscious? Or does the race go to the young man who takes regular showers, brushes his hair and talks about Ahhhhnold's victory?
Julia Baugher: Yes, all of us young ladies think it's very cool to ply us with Jim Beam in efforts to render us unconscious. HAH okay, sarcastic there. Actually - although we all profess to be offended by a man trying to get us drunk, we're also offended if he doesn't offer to buy us drinks. Ironic? well ... I'd say stick to plying her with only 2 drinks. That won't get anyone but me unconscious. ;)
Of course, I'm pretty psyched about guys taking showers. That's always a plus.
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Washington, DC:
I would guess the university administration retains editorial control over the entire paper, and your column in particular. What sorts of things have they asked you to change? (keeping in mind this is a family chat!)
Julia Baugher: Actually, those sorts of things are kept from me ... That sounds sort of conspiracy theory - esque, but I wouldn't be surprised. My immediate editors are the ones who change things, and they like to think they're very open minded. Not sure I'd agree, but that's another discussion. They've asked me to change various things, among them the word "sex" to something more benign, remove the word "vibrator" (it was in an innocous anecdote - I swear!), ANY references to joking about Priests and sex. They do not like it when I take the Catholic church to task for hypocrisy.
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(Much) older Hoya Alumna:
What's your opinion on dating "rules." Whether it be those espoused by the well-known book, or others that crop up as old-wives tales, etc.?
Julia Baugher: I was a big fan of "The Rules" - the supposedly conservative 1995 bestseller that enraged feminists across the nation. (Ironically enough, I consider myself a pretty big feminist). I liked the Rules because I thought - wow, FINALLY someone is saying "HEY! here are some guidelines you can follow to navigate these crazy part of your life." and I was glad to have something like that. HOWEVER - three years later I find myself breaking some rules and even making up new ones. I don't think that's bad, however ... the whole point of having such rules is to minimize the pain associated with the lovely world of dating - and maximize your chances at love :) I think they work rather well, actually!
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Washington, D.C.:
Julia,
How much of what you do is an act? All the pictures I've seen of you are in a short skirt, low cut blouse/sweater, etc.
Is that really you? Or is that the "public" you and the real you is something completely different?
Julia Baugher: Yes, I only take photos in short skirts and low-cut shirts.
HAHA ... well, that's half true. Hey, you gotta work what you got!!
but is that really me? ummm ... yes and no. I think we all have different facets of our personalities. That's my "sex columnist" side ... I also have my "picked-last-in-gym-class-can't-kick-a-ball-to-save-my-life" side, my quiet side (that doesn't come out much), etc.
Actually, I'm an extremely open and outgoing person, so the public me is pretty much what you get in private too. My friends regularly ask me ... extremely detailed questions about sex/dating and I'm happy to answer them. And yep, I'm a big fan of short skirts. ;)
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Washington, D.C.:
Julia,
How do you tell people that you've just met what you do? How do they usually react?
Julia Baugher: They laugh!! Actually, usually they say: "Wait, seriously?? No way." Then they share their various dating/ sex horror stories with me. Or ask me questions. Or try to quiz me on the Karma Sutra.
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Washington, D.C.:
Julia,
Do you get lots of unsolicited date (and other) requests because you're an attractive woman doing what you do?
Julia Baugher: Yep. I used to say yes to every date request, but now I'm a little more ... selective. I got an email the other day from a guy who claimed to be "42" and "hadn't bothered to date anyone yet." YET??? Yeah, not interested, sorry.
But on the upside, saying "yes" a lot reminds me that you can't always predict who you're going to click with. I've been surprised before! Perhaps because of that, I'm more open minded than some of my friends - they're so damn picky!! If they haven't known the other person from birth (and/or he's a male model), they've very reluctant to go on a date with him. Which I think, personally, is ridiculous. Everyone should get at least one shot at making a bad impression before they're dismissed!!
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Washington, D.C.:
I'm a Georgetown alum, class of '03. I'd like to know where the Post got the idea that Julia Baugher's column was a "hit" -- simply because writing a sex column at a Catholic University created a media buzz? I'll admit that there are some truisms to what Ms. Baugher writes. However, her column often portrays Georgetown women as though their lives consisted of buying lingerie and waiting for the boy they took home last night to call. The vast majority of us female Hoyas are outspoken and educated women, who have much better things to do than keep a running tally of our "booty calls." The column just isn't representative of most of the women at Georgetown. Frankly, the closest it came to a hit was as my girlfriends and I scoffed at it over lunch.
Julia Baugher: Actually, you're right. Instead of going to classes, I go to Victoria's Secret. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Please. I'm getting my master's in political science - there are few people who know me, besides my little brother, who think I'm an idiot. I'm not sure I COULD be more outspoken! The fact of the matter is, relationships, that is dating/sex, are a HUGE part of life. HUGE. To try to deny that is just being insincere. Especially at college, where thousands of students live together for the first time ... these issues impact all of us. And just because you haven't gotten a booty call lately, doesn't mean that you haven't wanted one ;) (JOKING, geez)
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Bob Levey:
Please clear this up: How much time do Georgetown students spend TALKING about sex, and how much time do they actually spend engaging in it?
Julia Baugher: A lot of us have sex, most of us talk about it, and ALL of us think about it! ;)
Of course sex isn't everything - not even close! But it can be a really nice experience in relationships, which give us the most precious thing in life: love. Whether we graduate from Georgetown summa cum laude or barely make it out after five years, we'll remember the people who we loved more than anything else. Oh, and the places we hooked up ;)
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Bob Levey:
Many thanks to our guest, Julia Baugher.
And many thanks to all you clicksters for hopping aboard on OUR NEW PERMANENT DAY OF THE WEEK and OUR NEW PERMANENT TIME: Fridays at noon, Eastern time.
Thanks to all of you who urged these changes (we do listen, yes, indeed, we do!).
We'll toggle the style of the show--one Friday we'll have a guest, the next Friday it'll be "open phones." We hope you like the new approach.
See you next Friday at noon for "Levey Live: Speaking Freely."
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