Rita Kempley (Craig Cola/ washingtonpost.com)

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It's Friday afternoon and you can almost taste the popcorn. Whether you're planning to hit the theater or your local video store, Rita's here to help you wade through the sea of choices.

It's also your chance to be a movie critic. Share your picks and pans, and tell us how things would be different if you ran Hollywood. Who would you cast in your movies and why?

A transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

Ballston Common: Is Madonna Guy Ritchie's Yoko Ono?

Rita Kempley: Or perhaps he is her Tom Green?

Hartford, Conn.: Hi Rita! In Desson's chat last week, someone was griping that the HBO version of Moulin Rouge had a different ending than the video version (unfortunately, they didn't elaborate as to what the changes entailed). Granted, I've only rented the video once, but after watching it again on HBO, I can't figure out what has changed, and it's driving me crazy! Can you shed some light?

Rita Kempley: Hi Hartford:

Alas I haven't seen the DVD, just the movie and the video. Maybe somebody out there in cyberspace knows the answer. I'm sure they do.

New York, N.Y.: What about the new Madonna movie, is it really that horrible, the reviews are merciless, even saying she looked horrible as well as acted poorly. Do you "blame" Madonna or Guy Richie?

Rita Kempley: Yes, more horrible than the spew of a 500-pound man full of Cheetos and other forms of junk cuisine.

State of Confusion, USA: Saw this on a marquee the other day:
Big Fat Geek Wedding

Until this the best abbreviation I had seen for it was:
B F Greek

Gotta love the theater people.

At any rate, does the movie really live up to the hype?

Rita Kempley: I think many of us were born in your state. For everybody else what is the capital city?

Well, it didn't have any hype when it opened. So it did make it this far on sheer likability. It's basically "Moonstruck" with baklava. A sweet, ethnic Cinderella story. It also fills a niche. It was one of the few romantic comedies released this summer. The only thing that exploded was the heroine's boisterous papa.

Brillant, not really. Entertaining, yep.

Kingstowne, Va: Regarding "Moulin Rouge," each time you watch it, it gets worse.

Rita Kempley: It's one of those movies that separate lovers of consumptive courtesans from those who like their call girls TB free.

Takoma Park, Md.: Madonna can't act, but her body is amazing! Maybe she should open a chain of fitness centers? Or launch a line of exercise videos, a la 80's Jane Fonda?

Rita Kempley: Maybe. And she would be doing two public services: Too busy to make another movie and help cure America's fat epidemic.

BTW: We wouldn't have to go to war with Iraq and we could all trim down if everybody would stop driving to the corner store.

Fort Lee, N.J.: What are your favorite movies of this year? Have you seen anything deserving an Oscar nomination?

Rita Kempley: I actually thought White Oleander was quite good unlike Steve and Desson. The performances were terrific, so I wouldn't be surprised if it picked up a couple of best actress awards--one of them supporting. Michele Pfeiffer hasn't been this good since "The Fabulous Baker Boys."

Privates On Parade: .... The play of this is in town at the Studio Theatre I hear but at 25 bucks and over its a little steep for me but I would love to catch it. A few weeks ago I picked up, for four dollars, a VHS copy of the 1982 Privates On Parade movie starring John Cleese and one of my favorite Brit actresses Nicola Pagett. Let me just say I have a new respect for Cleese even though he was good in Fish Called Wanda. He brilliantly does the gamut between serio and comic. Now I can understand what the hubbub about Cleese was 25 years ago. But tell me have you checked out this play or seen this film? Your opinions!

Rita Kempley: I vaguely remember the movie, but I've never seen the play. Thanks for the tip though. I've always loved Cleese, especially as the inn keeper of "Fawlty Towers".

Laurie: Husband says that Jenifer Anniston was completely cut out of Swept Away because she made Madonna look old. What says you that Mrs. Pitt is not home crying in her latte?

Rita Kempley: She laughing a latte, I'm guessing.

London Callin': Hi Rita.. I note that the boys are fighting over the girls in White Oleander with a red light by Desson and greenlit by Mr Hunter. Is a fist fight likely to break out, and who would win? Looks like you have the tie breaker.

Rita Kempley: Hi London: I think Steve is on the mark re "Oleander," but I believe that Steve could sit on the slender soccer playing Desson and squash him flat. Not that Steve is an especially agressive sort. He just looks like he would be. But Desson is younger by about 10 years. Me, I could kiss both their asses. At least, they have both said I could.

McLean, Va.: Another Vin Diesel movie for you Rita - are you gonna see it? We all know how you're hot for Vin.

Rita Kempley: I am rethinking my position of Mr. Diesel. I''ve come to think of him as a legend in his own mind.

Fassbinderjunge: A bad Madonna movie?

I am shocked. Shocked to my core. How could this have happened?

Rita Kempley: Yeah, she just plotzed.

Alexandria, Va.: What has become of the Henry Bean film "The Believer?" It won a major award at Sundance in 2000, was then shown on Showtime, and was slated for release thereafter in theaters. As far as I can tell, it was released only in small markets and abroad. There has been considerable coverage of it in the foreign press, but little here in the states. Apparently, theaters have deemed the subject matter too controversial, and got scared after showing it to Jewish leaders, who balked at it. For those who don't know, "The Believer" is inspired by the true story of Daniel Burros, a Jewish young man from Queens who becomes so alienated from his religion and himself that he joins the American Nazi Party and the KKK. When the New York Times finds out about his background and reveals it (in 1965), Burros kills himself. The troubling episode was turned into an excellent non-fiction book by Times editor A.M. Rosenthal, "One More Victim," published in 1967 (now out of print). Now the movie is finally here, a generation after it should have been, and nobody will touch it. This in a culture that serves us "Hannibal" et al. I called the local Blockbuster, and they have no record of it coming out on DVD. Nor does Amazon. I want to see it, and I suspect many others, Jewish and gentile, want to see it, despite the protestations of the ADL and others (and I'm Jewish, by the way). Is this censorship unprecedented? Do you know anything? Sorry the post is so long but I want some answers, and I hope you have some. Thanks in advance.

Rita Kempley: I like long posts--less work for me. I think "Lolita," both the first and remake, were suppressed when they released in this country. Quite a number of friends wind up going straight to video, either because they're awful or because the studio realizes that there's no wide audience for the production. And most every ethnic group has protested one movie or another. The most ridiculous was an organization representing the near-sighted, which protested Mister Magoo. And once something is released on cable, it usually doesn't have a theatrical release.

But Evita wasn't bad ...: She seemed to channel Senora Peron. It also has one hell of a soundtrack.

I blame the critics who haled her role in Desperately Seeking Susan. It was not a great movie nor was that a particularly great role -- the was playing -- Madonna, not a stretch.

Rita Kempley: True, Evita wasn't that bad. And as you point out, she nicely cast. As for "Susan," she was in a supporting role and once again, she suited the part.

Moulin Rouge: I've watched it on HBO now 3-4 times. Nothing has changed about the ending. I don't know what the other person was talking about.

Rita Kempley: I think he or she wondered if there was a difference between the DVD and the original release.

Washington, D.C.: I saw a promo on E! I think, where Madonna is interviewing Guy. Her insecurities reek when her question was "at what point did you realize that you were going to love me forever?" For my money he always looks like he's not into the marriage.

Rita Kempley: I liked Warren Beatty's comment in "Truth or Dare," her best movie really. I can't remember it exactly but he pointed out that she was only alive in front of a camera. I know smarty out there will know the exact wording.

Re: Desson and Steve: Did you mean KICK their a's, rather than KISS?

Rita Kempley: Yes, but they both have pretty cute butts.

Re: Moulin Rouge: I remember the Desson chat I think the poster said the changes were in the end credits and that they differed between what was in the movie theatre and what was shown on HBO.

Rita Kempley: Okay. Glad that's settled.

Herndon, Va.: EMPRESS OF ALL: If I go to see "The Transporter - Transporter," whatever, will I have to use my brain, or just enjoy the action and chomp my $5 popcorn?

Rita Kempley: Hi you. You may even go to sleep in your p.c.

Herndon, Va.: OUR BELOVED QUEEN: On the slight chance you weren't tuned in to Tony Kornheiser's radio show, the good Mr. Hunter, in panning Madonna's latest, noted that she was so muscled up and strong she certainly could kick his a_ _ - and therefore, wasn't sexy. Judging from Mr. H's physique, there's a lot of women he wouldn't find to be sexy.

Rita Kempley: I'm sorry, but it is hard to stay tuned into both Tony's and my own little blab fest. Mr. H is quite popular with the ladies. At least, that's what he tells me.

Mister Jimmy: Hi Rita. First we have Harrison Ford playing in a fourth Indie movie. Now I just heard that Bruce Willis has signed on for a fourth Die Hard flick. Hasn't anyone told them that Van Diessel is the action hero du jour?

Miss Edie reports from the field. She just saw "The Rules of Attraction" and says it was dark and disturbing, and I wouldn't get it, but that the kid from "Dawson's Creek" was cute. Should I be jealous?

Rita Kempley: Mister Jimmy: Hey and don't forget that Schwarzeneeger is coming back of "Terminator 3" and Stallone is planning another Rocky or maybe it's Rambo. I think the fellas see a definite dirth of he-man competition. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about when it comes to the loyalties of dear Miss Edie. Please give her may best.

Bowie, Md.: Miss Rita,

I saw "Red Dragon" and was not too impressed. The whole time I kept thinking, this is just like "Manhunter." I guess that's the danger of being second. Also Ralph is waaaaay to cute to be taken seriously as Mr. D.

Rita Kempley: I thought it was pretty stale. You know, a rehash of "Silence of the Lambs." Well, Ralph does have an edge.

London Callin': Rita ... Did you ever see the really funny 1955 Ealing comedy "The Ladykillers" which starred Alec Guinness and Peter Sellers? The idea of a half decent remake is nuts of course but ... those crazy Coens are doing just that. Tom Hanks has signed on. Could be good especially if Buscemi is on board. It's re-set in the U.S. - but after Swept Away, sounds like we owe you one.

Rita Kempley: Yes, I love all the Ealing comedies, evenif they are a bit moth-eaten. The Coens do have the right sensibilities, but I don't see Hanks fitting in though.

Rainy Georgetown: Heard anything on the "Frida" movie?

Rita Kempley: I missed the screening, darn it. My pal Jane Horwitz really like it though.

Nani/Texas: Well I swan ...! That nice young Benecio del Toro was on Inside the Actors Studio recently and what a shy, charming, interesting character actor! I'm on a quest now to see all his films. Loved Traffic (well, him in it anyway); hated Way of the Gun. I'll have to drive the 90 miles to San Antonio to rent The Usual Suspects. Would you please recommend some other of his movies?

Rita Kempley: Nani: How about Snatch?

Yer pal Kim: RITA!

Llong time, doll. Saw "Mostly Martha," the German foodie flick I was telling you about, and I luvved it. Beautiful imagery of food not stereotypically shot. A real goodie. We must continue our conversation on food film one of these days.

xox

Rita Kempley: KIM!
A fine food film indeed. I'll make banana pudding and mashed taters--it' s that kind of day--and we'll talk movie food book ideas.


P.S. Have you heard from Eraserhead Guy?

Bored, The Hill: Is that new movie "The Truth About Charlie" just a remake of Charade?

Rita Kempley: Yes.

Lolita/The Believer: Coincidentally, both of those were picked up and premiered by Showtime. Neat coincidence -- at least you can see the good stuff on premium TV, if nowhere else.

Rita Kempley: I'm a fan of the first Lolita movie? The painting toenails scene, super creepy.

MagnoliaGuy, Alex., Va.: Two things this week my Queen: Finally saw the promos for Punch-Drunk Love from P.T. Anderson of Magnolia/Boogie Nights fame and it looks A LOT like a shorter/sweeter version of Magnolia which I guess is a good thing for me. Have you seen it yet or heard anything? The review on Salon today is "quite" encouraging. On another note: as I get ready to see The Transporter solely to see how Shu Qi fares in English, I urge all viewers of said film to not judge her too harshly by her limited grasp of English; some but not all of her Hong Kong films do display her acting talents and/or her considerable sex appeal quite well. I recommend Mabel Chung's 1998 City of Glass co-starring Leon Lai and Daniel Wu -- a nice surprise.

Rita Kempley: MagnoliaGuy: Thanks for the recommendations. I hope you won't be too disappointed in "The Transporter." The word on Punch Drunk is more than encouraging. And they have been screening it for a couple of months now. I'm planning on catching one Monday.

KOD, scene 1, take 2: I believe he's run off to Cleveland to build the world's only Eraserhead museum. Very busy man.

Rita Kempley: Well, he could at least call home. Last I heard he had a nose job. It sure must have been a big one if it has taken him this long to recouperate.

Austin, Tex.: Re: the new Madonna movie -- the reviews have said that it's a remake of a 1974 film, but I seem to recall a silent film running on the same lines. I believe it was called "The Estimable Crichton" or something like that, with Gloria Swanson. Or am I imagining things?

Rita Kempley: Austin: Isn't that the book upon which the movie was based?

Herndon, Va.: A LATE QUESTION FOR OUR QUEEN: How many screenwriters are already working on a script based on "The D.C. Area Sniper?" steve (yes, I know I'm cynical)

Rita Kempley: Your cyncism is well-founded. That's the sad truth. On a hopeful note, nobody has made a movie about the unabomber--or have they?
I imagine "Phone Booth"--a guy answers a phone and a sniper threatens to kill him if he hangs up--is going to wind up on the shelf for a good long time.

Somewhere, USA: So who's more inept re: "Swept," Rita? Madonna or Guy?

Rita Kempley: They make a lovely couple. She's an exhibitionist and he's a voyeur. They do not, however, make good movies together.

Re: Punch-Drunk: Hard to believe there could be anything "encouraging" about a movie starring the thoroughly talentless Adam Sandler.

Rita Kempley: Anderson has a way with actors. Tom Cruise was never more interesting than ihe was in "Magnolia." Also Adam Sandler was really likable in "The Wedding Singer."

Laurie: Off topic --- but ... you have any idea where this season of Buffy is going? What exactly happened to Spike? AND that skin-eating demon was "eewww" gross.

Rita Kempley: "Buffy" is boring so far. Spike got his soul back and a tan and went crazy. I think he spent to much time in the sun.

Pittsburgh, Pa.: What movie would you recommend to see this weekend?

Rita Kempley: I think I'd go for "White Oleander." Or maybe check into one of the indie hits like "Igby" or "The Good Girl."

Rita Kempley: Thanks for dropping by. It was, as always, my pleasure. Hope to hear from you during the third annual cyber seance.

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