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Honoring a Son
Michael Flocco and Sheila Flocco
Hosted by Travis Fox
Monday, Aug. 19, 2002; 3 p.m. EDT
The washingtonpost.com documentary "Rebuilding a Fortress, Rebuilding a Life" is a profile of Michael Flocco, a Delaware sheet-metal worker whose son, Navy Aerographer's Mate 2nd Class Matthew Michael Flocco, was killed in the Sept. 11 attack on the Pentagon. Since January Flocco has been helping reconstruct the place where his 21-year-old son died, installing the heating and air conditioning ducts in the renovated section of the Pentagon.
Michael and Sheila Flocco and documentary producer Travis Fox were online Monday, Aug. 19 at 3 p.m. EDT, to talk about the Flocco's son, the rebuilding of the Pentagon and the perspective they have gained in a year since the Sept. 11 attacks.
washingtonpost.com's profile, filmed and produced over the last four months by Travis Fox, aired on ABC Nightline UpClose Friday, Aug. 16 and can also be viewed on washingtonpost.com.
The transcript follows.
Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control
over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.
Akron, Ohio:
Hi Sheila and Mike.
Navy mom Roseann here. Still sending hugs and love. Deb in Bahrain sends hugs too.
And our Angel has helped a lot of us get through this last year
Love and HUGS
Roseann
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Thankyou Rosann, Hugs & Kisses back to you and your family!
Much love to you all - God Bless!
Cleveland Heights, Ohio:
Not really a question, but a big thank you to Michael and Sheila Flocco for allowing us into their lives to understand the pain and hurt in losing their son in such a horrible way. I got to view Nightline and was able to be there with them and to understand the love and commitment they had for their son. Thanks again. Faith
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Faith, Thank you so much for your kind words and sentiment...it is wonderful to know the thoughts of so many caring people! God Bless
Dupont Circle, Washington, D.C.:
Thank you for sharing your experiences and ways of coping with the loss of your only son. I was glad to hear that Sheila has joined Michael. I lost my younger brother in June, so I empathize with your loss. I lost a friend at the Pentagon on Sept. 11, but I had a friend who got out who, if he had been in his office, would have been killed. And I have a friend who works on the 13th floor of Tower 2 who got out all right. It touched us all in some way, large or small.
Michael and Sheila Flocco: We are truly sorry for the loss of your brother and friend. We understand what it is you are dealing with and we thank you for taking the time to express your heart and thoughts with us. May God Bless you and be with you!
Matthews, N.C.:
I would like to know if Michael and Shiela Flocco would be interested in reading a poem I have written about Sept. 11, 2001?
Perhaps it will ease some of their pain.
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Dear Matthews, N.C. - I would definately love to have a copy of your poem. Please send it to the email proudofAG2Matt@aol.com Thank you for your thoughts. I look forward to reading your poem - Sheila
Pittsburgh, Pa.:
I retired from the Navy with 23 years of service. I would have been very proud to work with your son. I watched the video online and tears kept welling up in my eyes My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Kathleen
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Dear Kathleen, We certainly admire your 23 years of service! We appreciate you keeping us in your thoughts and prayers as we approach the anniversary of September 11th. Michael and Sheila
Quebec, Canada:
I was so overwhelmed by your video. I feel an
incredible amount of sympathy for you both, Matt
seemed to be such a great son. I am wondering
what you thought about the video, was it strange
for you to be the focus of a TV program like that?
Best of luck to you in the future!
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Dear Quebec - Thank you for your thoughts...Yes, I felt a little uncomfortable, but Mike was very much at ease for he feels it is important to share Matt's story. Thank you for your encouragement - God Bless you!
:
Kansas City, Mo.:
I missed the documentary on the 16th. Will it be shown again? Jeanenne Travis Fox:
We're not aware of any plans that ABC will be airing it again. But you can view the entire story plus 10 extra minutes of video at http://www.washingtonpost.com/911.
Springfield, Va.:
How did you land the job at the Pentagon? Did you actively persue a position there or was it just a coincidence?
Michael and Sheila Flocco: The sheet metal construction work was being performed by Sheet Metals workers Union Local 100 out of Washington D.C. which is an international union. I belong to Sheet Metals Workers Union 19 out of Philadelphia which is also internationally affiliated. So this was a lateral transfer from 19 to 100 at my request. Thank you for your thoughts, Mike
Washington, D.C.:
Can you again describe for us what the rebuilding process was like at the Pentagon? To me, it seemed as if these were men and women on a truly important mission who knew that and cared very deeply. Was that ever expressed directly or discussed on the site?
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Sometimes during break we would say how proud we are to be here. Many of my fellow workers came from states all over the eastern seaboard, as far south as Tennesee, North Carolina, Norfolk Virginia, West Virginia, and some from New Jersey, some from New York.
Alexandria, Va.:
Mr. and Mrs. Flocco, I am sorry about the loss of your son.
What is your opinion of the recent lawsuit alleging that Saudi Arabia paid protection money to Osama Bin Laden for years and thus funded him. Have you joined this lawsuit?
Michael and Sheila Flocco: I would like to see all of the Bin Laden money used to build Little League Baseball Diamonds and Soccer Fields all across the United States! Mike Flocco
Columbus, Ohio:
Shelia and Michael, I just wanted to let you know my prayers are with you and your family. I knew Matt from Dave Matthews and John Mayer concerts and he was such a sweet, sweet guy. We all miss him too.
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Thank you for your thoughts - Matt really loved the Dave Matthews band - we are glad you enjoyed some fun times as well with him! Mike and Sheila
Travis Fox:
You threw out the first pitch at the little league world series, how was that for you?
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Let's put it this way Travis - we are not nearly as talented as our son! He definately did not receive his baseball talent from me - my throw to the catcher went to the wrong person! Imagine what Matt was thinking (laughing) when he saw that - Thanks for your thoughts - Sheila
Falls Church, Va.:
I haven't watched the video yet -- plan to momentarily. I was wondering if you had any other children and if so, how they are dealing with the loss of their brother.
Michael and Sheila Flocco: No Matt was an only child, so as you can image this is very difficult. God Bless - Mike & Sheila
Travis Fox:
How did Matt get interested in weather before arriving at the Pentagon?
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Second question Travis! Matt enjoyed watching the weather channel since the age of 8.
Maryland:
A question for Travis: How did you originally find out about the Floccos? Travis Fox:
I originally heard about their story through a Pentagon press advisory about their meeting with Secretary Rumsfeld. I met them at the press event and continued talking with them on and off for the last four months.
Michael and Sheila Flocco:
Chicago, Ill.:
Do you still accept donations in Matt's name and if so, are there any other plans to build memorials in his name? I donated to help build the little league stadium but want to do more. Thank you.
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Wow - Thank you so much for your generosity! At this time their are no immediate plans for other memorials - However, if you wish to make a donation to the Newark National Little League, they will do so in his name. The stadium and park is beautiful, thank you for your heart felt gift..Mike and Sheila
Washington, D.C.:
Sheila and Michael, has it been hard living in two places for the past year?
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Yes, it was very difficult. However, at this time we are able to spend more time together as we come closely to the anniversary and reconstruction of the Pentagon. Thank you for your thoughts - Sheila
Washington, D.C.:
Dear Michael and Sheila,
I can tell by looking at your pictures of Matt that he was a very happy person and you made it easy for him to be in the world. Congratulations on doing such a great job as parents. My daughter was at the World Trade Center complex on Sept. 11 but she made it home. She called me that day on her cellphone as she was running up Westside Highway away from the destruction. On the way to work today, Aug. 16, I was thinking about that day. I know it will always be in my mind and I know my daughter is struggling with her own thoughts of Sept. 11. She appreciates all the people who give up their comfort to protect us in the U.S. Armed Services, the fire departments and police departments. That Matt was in the U.S. Navy working for all of us here in America is really special. Your story is sad but strong. Your story is about Matt and about love and about hope. Your story is about America. Thank you for sharing it with us.
You seem to have a gift for communicating with kids. Have you considered working with teens?
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Wow - What a very touching story and how appreciative we are of your encouraging words. As far as the teens - NO - I'm a drill sergent! I enjoy them, but I don't know if the same would be true for them. May God bless you and your daughter - it sounds as if you did a fine job too! Mike
Vienna, Va.:
Michael and Sheila,
How have other family members and Matt's friends been dealing with the grief? Have you been keeping in touch with them? What about Matt's girlfriend that you showed us in the picture?
Michael and Sheila Flocco: So many of his friends have been keeping in close touch with us. Many of them still have a hard time coming to the house, or will come and visit just to sit quietly. Some still can not visit his gravesite. We are very close with his friends and enjoy them being there. We lost one son, but have gained about twelve more...He and his girlfriend had broken up a month before the September 11th tradegy. Out family has shared in our grief and have been supportive in many different ways, as have so many people in the country. Thank you - God Bless Sheila
Vienna, Va.:
Are you happy with how your story was told? What has been the feedback that you have been getting? Travis, what has been your feedback also? Travis Fox:
The feedback for me has been very positive. My goal was for the story to connect to people on a personal level and I hope I was able to do that.
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Yes, I was very pleased with the video and how the story was told. We have had nothing but positve feedback from it.
Kansasa City, Mo.:
Michael,
Have you given much thought about what you'll be doing after the Pentagon?
Michael and Sheila Flocco: I can't wait to go back home and enjoy the Fall weather. I have an old Balsa Wood model of a P-51 Airplane that I bought when Matt was 14. At that time, I told Matt that someday we would build this model together. When I arrive home, I will spend the time building this plane. However, before going home I will participate in the Faces of America 2002 - which is a bike ride from Ground Zero to the Pentagon. I will be using Matt's mountain bike. This all begins on Friday, September 20th. The construction work has helped shape me for the bike ride. Thanks - Mike
Ridley Park, Pa.:
Mr. Flocco,
I watched the documentary a few nights ago on ABC and was so moved by it -- please accept my sincere condolences and those of my family on the loss of your beloved son, Matthew.
My husband, Rusty Sweeney and brother, Joseph Kane think they know you from Delaware County Are you from Delaware County?
Thank you. Connie
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Yes, I knew a Joe Kane from Del Mar Village - was he from this area. Thanks - Mike
Joshua Tree, California:
I liked it when Matt's friend was telling how you didn't want him to have a job in high school, that he should just have a good time. I noticed that like me, you are an "old rocker". Was that song about Tuesday by the Rolling Stones?
I related to your experience because even though my sons are 43 and 36, I still worry about them. My youngest is a career truck driver and anytime I see a big rig on the news, no matter what part of the country, I have to stop and pay attention to the details and make sure it isn't him. I never know where he is from one day to the next, so floods and tornados also get my attention. I know if I lost either of them I would feel exactly as you do. This 9/11 is bound to be pretty hard for you. I will be thinking about you.
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Thank you for your thoughts - Mike is definately an old rocker! God Bless - Sheila
Maryland:
Was it difficult being filmed? What made you both decide to let Travis into your lives and film such a personal story?
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Well, I'm more like Matt. I'm camera shy and don't really like all the attention - Sheila....Travis is a very humble person and well educated. I found out his dad liked baseball...and anybody who likes baseball is a friend of mine! That was the clincher - Travis' dad was a sportscaster in Kansas City! Mike
Kansas City, Mo:
Michael and Sheila,
My heart goes out to you fully. I haven't thought of much else but your son, Matt, since seeing Nightline Friday night. As a father, I understand how proud a parent can be of a son...but I cannot fathom the pain that I saw expressed from you, Michael. You are both in my deepest prayers that somehow, sometime the overwhelming pain might lessen.
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Thank you for your thoughts and prayers - we are glad that so many people have expressed the heart. God Bless - Mike & Sheila
Centreville, Va:
What was your feeling working in the same area that your son was killed in?
Michael and Sheila Flocco: I was glad to be accepted as part of the construction team. It was a very proud moment to work with all of the other American's who wanted to re-build the Pentagon. I definately sensed Matt's presence there on many occasions. Thank you and God Bless - Mike
Chicago, Ill.:
Travis, Mike, Sheila. Thank you for telling the story of such a wonderful individual from the Pentagon. So often New York and Pennsylvania are the headlines that is good to remember those in the Pentagon as well.
Michael and Sheila Flocco: You seemed to understand our feelings as well. So much happened on that day, so many lives, so many families. This is why we want to share Matt's story. There were many hero's in the Pentagon that day - Someone was kind enough to get Matt's body for the building and for that we are forever grateful! Thank you and God Bless - Mike and Sheila
Columbus, Ohio:
Were you religious before Sept 11 or did it take the loss of Matt for you to gain your faith?
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Well, we would not call it religious, but a relationship with our Father in Heaven. It has only grown stronger since that day. As strong as everyone says we are, it is only our faith that is given us strength...Thank you and God Bless you - Sheila
Lee's Summit, Mo:
Michael and Sheila,
We had known for some time about your loss. As a result, my wife and I had been anticipating seeing your story on Nightline. Like yourselves, we have an enormous amout of love for our son...and feel a similar pride in him as you both clearly do for Matt. But neither of us were quite prepared for the impact of your story Friday night. We were so profoundly touched...saddened, yet moved by the depth of your love. Our heart and prayers go out to you both. Initially, we watched Friday to see Travis' work, but were so taken by what we saw in you, Michael, that we have thought of little else but you and Sheila since. We pray with all our heart for your eventual healing. God bless. Travis' parents.
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Travis just left here...we are very please with getting to know him and how genuine he is. You should be very proud! We are thankful for how he is sharing Matt's story! God Bless and thank you for your prayers! Sheila
Suncoast:
As someone who has lost someone in the attack on 9/11, how do you feel about the day-long tributes commemorating the anniversary that will be televised by the networks? Do you think it's a good idea, or do you think it's gratuitous?
Michael and Sheila Flocco: I think it is a good idea and gratuitous...prior to September 11th, you may have found 1 in 30 high school graduates who were willing to join the military. Now, possibly by all of the information, the stories, the positive media footage of America's strength and unity, more will be willing to join in our Armed Forces. Freedom is not Free...Thank you - God Bless Mike
Fairfax Station, VA:
Mr. and Mrs. Flocco,
My deepest sympathies to you in the loss of your son. I viewed the on-line video of Mr. Flocco struggling with his loss as he worked to rebuild the Pentagon. What a terrible and painful loss.
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Thank you for your thoughts - God Bless Mike & Sheila
Somewhere, USA:
My husband was a rescue worker at the Pentagon on Sept. 11th. Your story was very touching to us both and brought up a lot of the pain he felt about being unable to save anyone that day. It was a really good opportunity for both of us to talk about what happened on the 11th and the repercussions it still has for him. Thank you.
Michael and Sheila Flocco: We were very thankful for the individual who retrieved Matt's body from the Pentagon. Your husband must truly have a hard time in dealing with all of this. Our thoughts and prayers to both of you as well. God Bless - Sheila
Michael and Sheila Flocco: We would like to thank everyone who was able to watch the show and respond with such positive feedback in participation with the on-line chat. Mike and I have truly been touched by the out-pouring of your heart felt expressions and sharing of your stories. Thank you again, God Bless each of you - Mike and Sheila Flocco
Detroit, Mich.:
Do you plan on doing other things to memoralize Matt, such writing a book about Matt or your grief?
Michael and Sheila Flocco: I would like to do a short story on Matt's life. I have an idea for the title of the book, but will save that for another time. Thank you, Mike
Washington, D.C.:
I am a federal government worker who felt a tremendous sense of fear on Sept. 11 -- not only for my own life, but for those of my friends and family here in DC and in NY. I now live only minutes from the Pentagon and drive by the side that was hit every morning on my way to work in DC. I've always considered myself a patriotic person, but every morning I am overcome with emotion for those whose lives were lost and also for those working to restore the building. You all have done a tremendous job. The new wing is beautiful and flawlessly mends into the existing structure. It is a true monument to your son, the rest of those lost, and your hard work. God bless you!
Michael and Sheila Flocco: Alright! Wow - Thank you! Emotions are a good thing to express - Sheila and I have had our hearts turned inside out, and upside down. However, it is all part of the healing process and rebuilding the Pentagon has been a great healing to me. Thank you again for your kind words - I am proud to be of service to America! Mike
Travis Fox:
That wraps up today's show. Thanks to everyone who joined the
discussion.
Stay tuned to Live Online:
Astrologer
Charlene Lichtenstein at 6 p.m. EDT
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