Rita Kempley (Craig Cola/ washingtonpost.com)

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It's Friday afternoon and you can almost taste the popcorn. Whether you're planning to hit the theater or your local video store, Rita's here to help you wade through the sea of choices.

It's also your chance to be a movie critic. Share your picks and pans, and tell us how things would be different if you ran Hollywood. Who would you cast in your movies and why?

A transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

Washington, D.C.: Hi Rita,
So, I had a deal with my boyfriend. I would not watch "Black Hawk Down," unless we watched "Legally Blonde." Well, because of a dinner invite last week, we saw "Legally Blonde." Now, I'm afraid I have to keep up my end of the bargain. I'm not a gory/war/death movie watcher -- am I going to be able to deal? Any other good rentals you could suggest that I could somehow substitute without obviously doing so (in the same vein)?

Rita Kempley: Hi Washington:
Funny, you should say vein. One of "Black Hawk'" most gruesome, but moving scenes, centers on a medic's attempt to save a soldier from bleeding to death. Since you're sensitive, I'll go no further. It is one of many graphic scenes, but you can always peek through your fingers.

If you had forced him to see "YaYa Sisterhood," then I would say you defintiely owe him this one. On the other hand, a bet is a bet.

Miss Edie the Egg Lady: Oh..tis a GREAT day when Our Queen is in the house!
Saw "Eight Legged Freaks" yesterday. I won't go into how much it sucked, but it had me wondering: What's the last movie YOU walked out on, now that The Job doesn't force you to stay till the end.
SO glad to have you back! (And a special "Edie" hug to Nani-Texas)

Rita Kempley: Miss Edie: I finally got the postcard from St. Thomas. I found it under a big pile of cheesy studio give-aways in the Post's special anthrax-proof Newsroom mail room.

I know it's a classic, but I couldn't make it all the way through "Fast Runner." Even though the artic landscape was a visual respite from the summer humiture.

Baltimore, Md.: This may be more Hax's chat than Queen Rita's, but I'd say to the girl who has to watch Black Hawk Down to ditch that guy. There's something VERY WRONG with a man who doesn't want to watch Reese Witherspoon prance around in a variety of Barbie-like outfits. -Homer Simpson voice- Mmmmm...Reese Witherspoon...

Rita Kempley: Baltimore:
You've definitely got a point.

A deal's a deal: What if you were forced to watch Scooby Doo, what would make up for that?

Rita Kempley: I have a candidate: "Mr. Magoo."

Laurie: Rita,

Sorry, but I must rant off-topic ...

Are the Emmy voters really just a bunch of big lunkheads?? Once again, Buffy gets bupkus in the way of acting, writing or directing nominations. Grrrrrrrrr.

Rita Kempley: Laurie:
Ever since The Ranter moved to Mississippi, nobody has really had a first class hissy fit. So you go, girl.
Yeah, but didn't they accidentally leave "Buffy" off the ballot last year? And could I just say Spike--voice of Homer Simpson

The Frog Pond, Md.: Rita,
I don't see many movies in the theater or on video -- for financial reasons mainly. But once in a great while I like to treat myself. So do you think I can still fully enjoy a movie which is a sequel, if I never saw the original? E.g. Stuart Little, Men in Black II, etc.

Thanks for your opinion or any of the suspects!

Rita Kempley: Frog Pond: I think you would be much better off renting the video of the original "Men in Black." The dog steals the show--never a good sign unless it's a Lassie movie. "Stuart" can do no wrong as far as I am concerned. You don't need any back story to appreciate the mouse, but again, since you have money concerns, I'd go with a video of the original.

Fast Runner: Which is more intolerable...the Fast Runner or Silent Running

Rita Kempley: I'm kind of a fan of "Silent Running." The part were the robot dies really gets me.

Emmy Solution: Obviously, if the show was The Gilmore Girls: Vampire Slayers, not only would it be funnier, it might get Emmy votes for the concept alone.

Rita Kempley: Dear Emmy:
Kind of a mother-daughter tag-team deal. And it would be eligible for both drama and comedy.

What to do?: I am having a hard time deciding whether or not I want to see the new Mel Gibson movie, Signs, when it comes out. About a year ago when Mel was filming the movie in my home town, I heard some distrubing news about him frequenting the nudie bars and getting lap dances and taking girls home with him. This is from a reliable source. I was completely heart broken. I always found him to be the stand-up kind of guy, with a wife and lots of kids. I guess I was wrong. Now, do I shove aside my moral dilemma and see the movie, which looks to be good. Probably not. Gosh darnit Mel.

Rita Kempley: Good grief. I always thought he was super family guy, too. He certainly does portray himself that way. I think he's about maxed out myself. I'm still grappling with the vision of Mel in pantyhose and heavy pancake in "What Women Want." But ask yourself: How often does a movie about crop circles come around? You must go.

Laurel: HELP!

I agreed with my GF that I'd go to Ya-Ya Sisterhood (which we did Sunday) if she'd go to Windtalkers.

How do I get out of seeing Windtalkers?

Rita Kempley: Laurel:
Actually, two girlfriends of mine produced "Windtalkers," so I better recuse myself on this one, though I know they would appreciate the business.

Can't you just say, let's go to another movie.

D.C.: Somewhat along the same lines as an earlier question, on my suggestion, my fiancee and her mother went with me to see Minority Report. They did not like it. Thought it was gross and my fiancee thought all Spielberg's symbolism with the water was overdone ("Enough with the water, we get it!" she says). Since then she's been bugging me to see Ya-Ya. Tell me this is not a fair trade, especially since I'm opposed to Ya-Ya from the outset.

Mind you she hasn't seen "Dr. Strangelove" which I've been bugging for her to see for two years, nor any Star Wars film.

Rita Kempley: D.C.:

This is definitely not a free trade. Do you think you should rethink this relationship?

College Park: Hi Rita,
I'm a first timer here. Is it true that in the next few years you won't be able to rent videos, but only DVDs? I am probably the last person who doesn't have a player and doesn't want one. Also, would "Lovely and Amazing" be a good date movie, or should I be nice and go to see my boyfriend's pick, "Minority Report"? Thanks!

Rita Kempley: Hi Ceepee:
Yep, I imagine video players will go the way of hifis in the next few years.
I don't think "Lovely" is a great date movie. It's all about relationships and nothing much happens. I as just talking to a romance writer pal who pointed out that men will tolerate relationships if something else is going on like a football game.
I think Minority Report would be the better option.

Jack, Potomac: Rita:

Hi. Okay, I'm going to say it, and I don't care about any possible, concurrent shockwaves: I didn't think "The Road to Perdition" was that great of a movie. Really. The story was ridiculous, you were hard-pressed to care about the Hanks or Newman characters, the characters were morally and ethically reprehensible, some plot twists didn't sit right, and some of the scenes were actually hokey -- especially the scenes at the kindly old couple's run-down barn. Give me a break! Thanks for the vent. Your thoughts?

Rita Kempley: Jack: You sure got that right. I thought it was all about the director and the cinematography. The pacing was ponderous, the style overwhelmed the content, what little there was of it. I kept thinking Ray Liotta would have been more believable in the Hanks role. Nope didn't buy it.

SciFiGirl: More on-topic:

I saw Minority Report (the night it opened, no less), and I thought that it had a lot going for it. But then I felt it got ruined when I figured out pretty early who the bad guy was (I won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it yet). But a good adaptation of a classic Dick story (not as good as Blade Runner, but why shoot for the stars?). But I will say that I did NOT get a feeling that it was D.C. in this film. Except for a couple of shots of the Washington Monument, there was nothing that made it seem like it was D.C. It was very weird. They might as well have set it on Mars.

Rita Kempley: SciFiGirl: I enjoyed the movie, but there were so many inconsistencies. No it didn't look much like D.C. to me either. For one thing, the buildings were higher than the Washington Monument and that's just not going to happen. Yes, pretty obvious bad guy.

Frederick, Md.: Rita, why are people so narrow-minded? I thought Legally Blonde was a hoot. Totally enjoyable. Being a guy and loving war movies, Black Hawk really captured war and it's futility and fear. However, even I found it so intense I can not watch it again.

Rita Kempley: Frederick:
I'm not sure it's narrow-mindness in this case. It's just plain fear. Sometimes I get queasy just thinking that I'm going to have to see a movie like Hannibal. I do think we should all try to be more adventursome. I still haven't been able to get some of the scenes out of "Black Hawk" out of my mind.

Thanks for backing me up on Ya-Ya: Luckily, I think she just threatens me with Ya-Ya to get a rise out of me and doesn't actually think I'll go see it. I wonder if any engagement has ended over movie choices, though. Sounds like a "Seinfeld" episode.

Rita Kempley: You're welcome. They did that great Seinfeld episode about "Schindler's List" and later "Rochelle," which became "Rochelle-Rochelle," the musical with Bette.

Boonies, Va.: Here's an odd question for ya. If you were to bring a videotape of a movie to the hospital for you to watch while in labor and waiting to fully dilate, what movie would you choose?

Rita Kempley: Boonies:
"Gremlins," no question.

Catty commentor: Recently saw My BIg Greek Wedding. I don't understand what all the hoopla is. Yes it was funny and cute, but the corny-ness was above the rim. I mean, she goes from gross to pretty by simply wearing make-up. It's so 1980s. And isn't it time John Corbett cuts his hair?

Rita Kempley: Catty:
I thought it was a Greek variation on "Moonstruck," both of them are basic Cinderella stories. I thought the hero was a total weiner. Cute, but not hooplah-worthy.

Mechanicsburg, Pa.: I remember when I was in 4th grade, my school had an assembly in the gym -- and they showed 'Silent Running'. Pretty weird, who knows why. But it certainly sparked an interest in Sci-Fi for me (which was destroyed by "AI" ... but I digress...).

Anyway, that M. Night guy is the biggest phony hype since Sam Mendes. Who could sit through "Unbreakable"? Not me. As for Mendes, I just read that the ending for "American Beauty" had the Psycho Military Dude's son being arrested for Spacey's murder, but it didn't test well so he changed it.

I'm also souring on Soderbergh...it started during the last 5 minutes of "The Limey" and shows no sign of abating. Now he's remaking Tarkovsky's "Solaris" -- a killer space flick that truly needs no remaking.

Truly yours,
Dex

Rita Kempley: I'm sorry to hear that you have been so deeply troubled by A.I. It is something of a nightmare, especially for guys. Robot babies and sex machines threaten to put XY out of business. I'll have to see what Shalyman does with "Signs" before a weigh in--he might have come down with the legendary sophomore curse.

Formerly Fiendship Heights: Speaking of movies and relationships, I once broke up with a girl because she said her favorite movie was Steel Magnolias. I tried to put it out of my head, but I couldn't. Everytime we were together I imagined us curling up on the couch with Steel Magnolias playing on the VCR. I could've taken it if it was Fried Green Tomatoes, but not Steel Magnolias.

Rita Kempley: Dear Formerly, you'll always be Fiendship Heights to me. (I didn't answer that snippy message you sent earlier, nyah, nyah, nyah.) I can see where the Magnolias would put you off. At least, it wasn't "How to Make An American Quilt."

Herndon, Va.: Parents without children tonight -- going to see a movie (which we get to do about twice a year) -- should we see Minority Report or Road to Perdition? Thanks.

Rita Kempley: Hmm. I would go with Minority Report.

Herndon, Va.: From one girl to another -- get over yourself! Black Hawk Down might have guresome scenes but it also has a historical perspective on what our military folks go through out there. I watched it a few weeks ago with my boyfriend and it was so dramatic that I had to make him pause it so I could take a breath and calm down. It is a reviting film that is non-stop. Girlfriend, watch it, you never know, you just might like it.

Rita Kempley: Here, here!

London Callin': Rita -- there are no gory death scenes in Ya Ya Sisterhood! Then it's off my must-see list when it's finally out here.

Rita Kempley: London Callin': I think that is a wise decision. I'm not into the Ya Ya scene myself. Give me Thelma and Louise, Erin Brokovich--women that actually do something beside yak.

Bob Hope: Hey, Doll.
Gonna have your annual Halloween Seance this year? Hope so, cause I've got a feeling I'll be able to participate.

Rita Kempley: Bob! You know it baby.

Nani/Texas: Hi Rita. I have the same moral dilemma about Woody Allen (God I loved his films) as "What To Do" has with Mel Gibson. And now I'm upset with Billy Bob for going on the road with his band instead of being papa to his new baby. And, irritated with myself for being judgmental!
Hug right back at ya Miss Edie.

Rita Kempley: Nani:
I see no problem with being jugmental. Some stuff just plain sucks. Yes, I have the same problem with Woody, but I must admit, his Lolita-complex was there all along.

Formerly Fiendship Heights: I have to disagree with Mechanicsburg. Solaris had moments of brilliance but it also had tens of minutes of slow scenic pans, making it torture to sit through. I'm really looking forward to Soderburgh's Solaris.

Sorry about getting snippy earlier.

Rita Kempley: Don't be silly. I can take it

20007: I hope this isn't too late... I was wondering why nobody ever talks about the violence in movies anymore.. I remember when Saving Private Ryan came out, there were all these disclaimers and ushers waiting in the wings. Since then I've seen gorier and heard nothing about it. Why do you think that is?

Rita Kempley: Actually, a few critics felt "Windtalkers" was too violent. Well, it was directed by John Woo for heaven's sakes. I think movies will tone down the violence after 9/11, especially if it's gratuiotous.

Fairfax, Va: Hello Rita,

What did you think of the two versions of the Exorcist? Specifically the original and the newer one with the infamous "scene" that I know you know I'm referring to? A bunch of my friends are watching it tonite at my house and I assured them they will leave the house screaming. Can I have your take?

Rita Kempley: Got to go with the "scene." Shouldn't leave this world without seeing that.

Rockville: I was fortunate enough to catch the unfortunately under-appreciated film "Office Space" on Comedy Central the other night. If you haven't seen this under-stated, hilarious, dead-on gem of a movie about life in cubicles and life as an early-career office worker, definately rent it! Rita, don't you agree that this low-budget film captured something about work life, and was funny to boot?

Rita Kempley: Rockville:
I adored this movie. I think I gave it a rave. But you're right, nobody picked up on it. It captured the cold-blooded cubicle scene right down to the obligatory going away cake.

Sir Synergy: Our wise and noble Queen!

Is there a sleeper film or an up and coming filmmaker that we Suspects should keep an eye out for? This movie year has been fairly disheartening, and new blood definitely needs to appear.

Rita Kempley: My Good Sir:
I didn't see you way down here at the bottom of the list. I suspect "Big Fat Greek Wedding," "Y Tu Mama Bien," and perhaps "Lovely & Amazing" are the sleepers. I will sound the bugles if I get wind of anything fantastic.

Dianetics, Calif.: Any word on the eagerly anticipated Battlefield Earth 2: The Clearing?

Rita Kempley: Dianetics: I hear it's in pre-production and Hal Needham has been signed to direct.

Consumer Fraud (?) Division: Rita --

What do you think of a movie being advertised next to your chat?

Sign me suspicious.

Rita Kempley: Huh? Is there?

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