Rita Kempley (Craig Cola/ washingtonpost.com)

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Summer lemonade. Dumb movies and fun movies. Tent poles and tadpoles. "Ya-Ya" and yeehaw movies. Divine secrets and dastardly plots. Thrillers but no chillers.

Join Rita Kempley to talk about the summer blockbuster season and the upcoming 4th of July box office in this special edition of The Unusual Suspects.

A transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

EraserheadGuy, D.C.: Regrettably not in attendance today due to that annual company picnic. Have a good chat all y’all.

Comes now Tom Cruise’s latest effort to appear in a gen-yoo-wine cult film, a midnight special, a flick that eraserheadguys will rent and re-rent on viddy for years to come. It’s still about the only cinematic milestone that he hasn’t yet attained (other than a silly gold statuette.) He tried and failed to get into cult-movie heaven before with “Eyes Wide Shut” and “Magnolia.” Rita, you think the third time’s the charm?

Note to Nani: So glad you got the Midnight Movies book and that you read the "Eraserhead" chapter. Have you read the section on John Waters’ movies? It is there that you will learn about the origin of our dear Miss Edie the Egg Lady.

Rita Kempley: Dear EraserheadGuy:
I'm sorry that you won't be able to join us today. If you win the three-legged potato sack race, it will all have been worth it.

You forget about "Vanilla Sky," which was a cult film before T.C. got a hold of it. I don't think matinee idols can get funky until they've become has-beens and make a comeback. "Minority Report" definitely isn't going to get the job done.

I'm afraid you may have to give up the viddy for the DVditty.

Washington, D.C.: Queen Rita -- Where have you been in June? I have gone through Queen Rita withdrawal! What are your thoughts on "Atanarjuat, the Fast Runner?" Is it entertaining? Or is it more of a flick with a documentary sort of feel to it? Do you recommend it?

Rita Kempley: Hi Washington:
There was some sort of scheduling problem that got started when we decided not to do a show on Labor Day Weekend and then I don't know what happened. I don't want to sound paranoid, but I feel sure that it is some sort of evil plot.

I think it's a little bit of both, because we aren't really familiar that universe. And yes, I'd recommend it.

Washington, D.C. Ya-Ya? Or No-No?: Queen Rita -

What are your thoughts on "Devine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood?" Great flick to see with other chicks? Wait for the DVD? Or pass it altogether? By the way, your name, if you plug it into the Ya-Ya Name Generator on the Official Ya-Ya website is: "Queen Cry me a River"

-"Viscountess Pow Wow"

Rita Kempley: Viscountess Pow-Wow:
So good of you to join us. I'm not big on movies about miserable southern women. The portrayals are so trite, always neurotic alcoholics, steel magnolias and chatterboxes.
On the other hand, I did like the older cast quite a bit. I would wait for the DVD if I were you.

ArtMovieLover, Virginia: Exactly how fast can "The Fast Runner" run, Rita?

Oooo. I like that sentence. Say it three times, fast as you can. Kind of a tongue-twister, no?

Say, do you own one of those DVdiddies, Rita?

Rita Kempley: ArtMovieLover: Did you ever try the tongue-twister: The sheet is slit/ Who slit the sheet/ Whoever slit the sheet is a good sheet slitter.

Yes, I have a DVdiddy.

Welcome, haven't heard from you in ages.

Laurie.....: Rita --

How goes the sabbatical? Are your getting reinvigorated? The Style section is just not enjoyable without you. I could care less about the blockbusters -- My daughter & I are anxiously awaiting the premieres of Hey Arnold, The Movie and The PowerPuff Girls.

Rita Kempley: Hi Laurie:
The sabbatical is humming right along. I'm working on my section about what guys want at the movies--or something along those lines, only smarter.

I can hardly wait for "Stuart II." Love that wittle mousey.

Mister Jimmy: Hi Rita. "Minority Report" is definitely at the top of my summer list. I'm not crazy about Tom Cruise, but oh well, can't have everything.

On a side note, what's your favorite "guilty pleasure" movie? You're going to probably lose all respect for me, but mine is "Pay It Forward." I know I'm being manipulated every time I see it, but Haley Joel Osment is so likeable, I can't help myself.

Special howdy to Nani. Miss Edie and I miss her when she's not in the chat.

Rita Kempley: Hi Mister Jimmy:
I'm sure I've said this many times over, but I do love "The Poseidon Advenutre," as well as "The Day of the Triffids."

Broomes Island: DEAREST RITA! Just a hope on the 1st day of summer that you will be writing copiously and living joyfully through the coming summer!

P.S.: By the way, Ben Affleck as Jack Ryan? What were they smoking?

Rita Kempley: Dear Broomes Island:
Thanks so much. I am wrting copiously, if only I could figure out what I am talking about. My husband says I am adding trees to the forest. When it comes to the joy, I am not crying a river I can tell you that.
Ben Affleck is beginning to remind of a totem pole.

Laurie: Omigosh -- I forgot all about Stu II!

Rita Kempley: Thank God, I got to you in time. I wonder if they'll be having a Squeak Preview?

Washington, D.C.: Queen Rita -- My boyfriend wants to see "The Minority Report" this evening. Does it have a sort of "Matrix" feel to it (in which case I would love it)? Is it entertaining? Is it more of the type of flick that I should politely bow out of and encourage him to go to with his other guy friends (so they can beat their manly chests wildly during the movie)? Thoughts?

Rita Kempley: Dear Washington:
Overall, I thought the movie was entertaining, but it wasn't really as taut as it needed to be. There were some spiffy aerial chase scenes, which remind me of the taxi scene in "Fifth Element" and "Spider Man."
The fight scenes aren't the equal of those in "The Matrix." In fact, TC seems a little awkward in some of them. I hated the gooey Hollywood ending. Othere people would hate it if Spielberg hadn't included it. The sets are appealing. They hark back to the early days of sci-fi. As soon as you get out of the theater, you're going to start going: Could that snail thing reallyfly?
ItAnd

Laurel, Md.: Rita, please help me. I saw "Y Tu Mama" a couple weeks back. What did I miss? I saw no plot, no engaging characters, and minimal action, save the gratuitous sex scenes.

What does one get from that movie that one doesn't get from Cheech and Chong? C and C movies have better humor, less trashy sex, less phony drugs-are-safe advertising, and an equally plausible but more engaging storyline.

Could you really believe a woman dying from cancer would do what she did? Or that tequila really drove those two guys to do what it did? Or that a dental asstant could have crooked teeth?

Rita Kempley: Laurel:
Thank you, thank you. I thought I was the only one. I agree with you completely. I couldn't stand the horney kids and I didn't really think that classy woman would have anything to do with them.
The cancer thing was such a contrivance. EVen if she did have sex with a couple of brats, there's no reason she had to die for it.
Most people said they enjoyed it because the movie presented the duality of the Mexican lifestyle. You know: Some people are rich; some are poor.

Apparently Nowhere: Even with all the consultants Spielberg hired to help him visualize the year 2054, there's not even a hint of an explanation of what would turn a majority Black city into an all-White city in 52 years. Granted, Minority Report isn't about race; still, considering the percentage of African Americans in D.C., it's insulting. What's next: Futuristic Miami without Latinos?

Rita Kempley: Of Los Angeles the way Phillip K. Dick envisioned it "When Androids Dream of Electric Sheep"), which became Ridley's Scott's stunningly depressing "Blade Runner." In that future, many Latinos, Asians, Euros and Africans had intermarried, so that you had blue-eyed, dark-skinned people with almond eyes. There were people of all colors and many with terrible diseases from the continuous acid rain.
I didn't read the Dick short story upon which "Minority Report" was based, so I don't know what he saw as the make-up of D.C. Since he may have well written the book while the city was ""a sleepy southern town, " he may not have known much about the city's make up which changed drastically after the riots in 1969.
But yes, I'm guessing all those experts were white males.

Suncoast: Hi Queen Rita! Hope your sabbatical is going well. I just wanted to recommend a rental. Saw Orange County last night and thought it was really amusing. Not the best movie I've ever seen, but Jack Black is the perfect antidote for the blues. I may even purchase this one in order to watch his antics over and over. What did you think?

Rita Kempley: Hi Suncoast:
I was just thinking back on my review of "Orange County" and wondering how it would play on DVD or video. I imagine it's much better since it's a smallish story, but I especially liked Sissy Spacek's daughter is this one. I really liked Jack Black in "High Fidelity."

Countess Rude Like a New Yorker: So, how does Minority Report explain the complete perversion of our legal system and the Constitution? I don't think I can see the movie, because I'd probably spend the entire time yelling out the Fifth Amendment to the screen.

Rita Kempley: Then you absolutely must go right out and see it, Countess.
The movie actually condemns the system of arresting somebody before he or she committs a crime. Thank God that the Pre-Crime department isn't relying on Miss Cleo for precognition. It also debates fate versus free wheel and offers some interesting insights into the invasion of privacy and slavery (the three pre-cogs are essentially prisoners of the system.) .

Laurel, Md.: Okay, Rita, a terse question. What did you like about "Y Tu Mama?"

I saw it, was paying attention, and just plain detested it.

Rita Kempley: Me? Nothing. I just kept wondering what all the other critics saw in it.

A different Laurel:: Re: Y Tu Mama

I think the motivation for her behavior is that she had gotten married young to a loser and started a career at the age her companions are in the film. She had missed doing those things at that age and tried to recapture the age in appropriate behavior.

On the road trip she realized you can't pretend to be that immature if you aren't.

Rita Kempley: Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I'm just sick and tired of people--especially women--being punished for having sex. Talk about puritanical.

Miss Edie the Egg Lady: Helloooo Rita!

I was sound asleep in my playpen when Mr. Jimmy called to remind me that you're on today. Land o' Gohsin! And I've got nothing to say except "Hi!" Oh, and Miss Nani/Texas, if you're out there ... hope you can make it up to D.C. I'll bake a pie and show you the sights. Bye, now.

Rita Kempley: Miss Edie, darling:
Thanks for saying hi. Always good to hear from you whether you have anything to say or not.

Seems like more and more people are joining the Nani Fan Club.

Nani/Texas: Hello Rita - how lovely to check the weekly on-line schedule and see your show listed, been looking forward to it all week.
Oh I should've known Miss Edie the Egg Lady's origin was from the Midnight Movies because I feel the same attraction to her posts as the enigmatic Eraserhead Guy's! My very favorite Rita show was the one when the fabulous Miss E was preparing to attend Dubya's inaugural ball! No, I haven't read the John Waters'chapter yet (MM is definitely not light reading) butI've been busy studying the "interesting" black/white photos.

Rita, I'm very excited about the Bourne Identity but becasue of limited access to new films, won't get to see it until it goes to video. Your comments on this film Rita?

Rita Kempley: Nani--
Hey, I just found your posting. Your ears must have been burning. I really enjoyed "Bourne Identity," especially Franka Polente of "Run Lola Run." She never became the girlfriend. I must say that Matt Damon makes a much more convincing killing machine than Tom Cruise. Very neatly done.

Peoples' Republic: Rita, you mentioned the "Fifth Element" earlier which brought with it memories of Chris Tucker. By now I am sure there is a fund somewhere to buy this guy a Soprano dirt nap and I would like to contribute. Do you have that address handy?

Rita Kempley: Sorry, I don't. But I will try to get that info for you by the next show.

Orange, Va.: Finally saw the new Star Wars last weekend. Waited so long because the horror of Episode One induced post-traumatic stress disorder. Ended up loving "Clones" and was surprised by all the bad press it had generated. A lot of it just doesn't seem justified having now seen the movie. I'm wondering if a lot of the negativity was a response to the confrontational/almost paranoid attitude Lucas always displays in the press. What do you think?

Rita Kempley: Hi Orange:
I don't think Lucas' attitude toward the press had anything to do with the way critics reviewed the movie. Maybe he gave some feature writers a hard time during interviews. That shouldn't have affected anybody. It's possible that everybody had such hi expectations that they were terribly disappointed. On the other hand, maybe you had lower ones and enjoyed yourself. I wasn't a big fan--the acting, oh, my God--but am glad you enjoyed yourself. I would have been happier if there had only been more of Mr. Binks.

Falls Church, Va.: Your thoughts on The Bourne Identity? Having never read the book nor particularly liked Matt Damon, I was completely surprised when I ended up LOVING the movie! I thought it was a great combination of suspense, action, scenery and intrigue. Franka Potente and Damon have a great, understated, nicely done love sequence too.
Can Matt Damon come cut my hair?!

Rita Kempley: Hey, we were reading each other's mind. Maybe we could shave our heads, get wired up, float nude in a pool of viscous fluid and predict future crimes for "Minority Report."

Formerly Fiendship Heights: Lovely Rita Film Reviewer,

Say it isn't so! Please tell me you're not a fan of that celluloid barbituate Blade Runner. Except for some nice art direction that movie has no redeeming qualities. I really don't understand why it has such a following.

And Y Tu Mama? How can sex in a movie about sexuality be gratuitous. Americans are such prudes.

Rita Kempley: Fiendship Heights:
I absolutely love "Blade Runner." God questioned by his creations seems meaningful to me. And that's just the beginning, Mr. Smarty Pants. I didn't say the sex was gratuitous. But I must say I am still wondering what the heroine was doing down there when the two boys became so turned on they started kissing each other. I'm wondering if this was a subtle reference to "Deep Throat."



.

D.C.: On rottentomatoes Minority Report's getting a 97% rating. Is this a "strong" 97% in your mind (it's a really good movie) or a "weak" one (everyone agrees it's better than average, but that's about it). Also, should I see it or Bourne Identity this weekend? Thanks!

Rita Kempley: D.C.
Again, I've been surprised at the glowing reviews. While I think the movie is entertaining, there are so many holes in the plot and so many inconsistencies in the world of the story. In one case, Cruise has to replace his eyes--retinal scanning and so on. He is warned repeatedly not to take the bandages off for 12 hours or he will go blind. Six hours later, a little spider-bot pulls up the bandage and flashes a light in the eye to check the retinal print. Shouldn't he have been blind in that eye?
Well, he isn't. Furthermore they spend so much time on the scene and we never see the characters again.
Yes, that may be petty, but I can name another 10- inconsistencis off the top of my head. Samantha Morton was wonderful as one of the pre-cognitives and the movie is about something. Always worth praising. More than anything else, I think reviewers were wowed by the setting. Or maybe they were just grateful it was nothing like "A.I."

Somewhere, USA: You would have been happier if there were more of Binks? Please, tell me you're KIDDING!

Rita Kempley: DUH

Herndon, Va.: OUR QUEEN OF SUMMER: Looks like Tom and Steve have a megahit coming -- with even all the critics lining up to praise it. Any advance word on "MIB II?" I loved the first, not very sure the second can keep it up.

Rita Kempley: Hi Steve:
I wish I could advise you on "MBII," but it doesn't screen until next week.

London Callin': Hi Rita - commiserations to your gallant U.S. lads losing unfairly to the cliched efficient Germans. (In that obscure soccer thingy!) Talking Mexicans, I read today that 'Around The World In 80 Days' is being remade with Jackie Chan. Chan isn't playing Phileas Fogg unfortunately but Passepartout (originally played by the mexican actor Cantiflas) Who would you like to see playing David Niven - has to be Hugh Grant I'd say.

Rita Kempley: Hi London: Well, thanks for your condolences. It's the first I've heard of this soccer thingy.
I think I'd prefer Ruppert Everet myself. Though Hugh would do. love his new hair.

Bowie: Hmmm, one of your responses prompts me to ask about your gender issues...

Do female crimefighters (in film) ever have healthy love lives or marriages? It seems they're all either completely love-less or involved with jerks.

Rita Kempley: Crimefighters? Hmm. I don't know about healthy. Buffy and Spike, now there's an unhealthy relationship I wouldn't mind getting in on. I've always believed that Charlies Angels were a lesbian menage a trois. And very happy indeed.

20005: The Bourne Identity: Sleeper hit of the summer. Why is everyone else wasting their money on The Sum of All Fears and Scooby Doo? Matt Damon, who I used to find annoying with his floppy hair, is one HOT stud! This movie rocks. My husband loved it, too (he liked the Paris car chase for their vehicle choice!): the first time in 7 years we were equally lauding the same movie! WOW!

(and yes, Falls Church, Matt Damon should come to town and give all us ladies a hair cut!)

Rita Kempley: 20005: I can understand Sum of All Fears, but Scooby Doo! That was a delightful choice, the chase scene.

Bowie: Re: Phinnes Fogg

John Cleese. Plese, John Cleese.

Rita Kempley: Always a good choice.

Minority Report: Replace his eyes? Oh, ish! Is there much grossness shown on screen?

Rita Kempley: That's the ickiest series of scenes. Though some of the pre-cog's vision are a tad gruesome.

Herndon, Va.: OUR QUEEN: Talk about guilty pleasures -- even though I know I'm going to tear up, I watch "Old Yeller," and then when Tommy Kirk raises up the rifle, and Old Yeller looks nobly up at him and almost says "I know you have to do it, go ahead" and then Tommy Kirk . . . I can't go on, it's too tough!

Rita Kempley: Stop, Steve. Now I'm all choked up.

Columbine, Colo.: Any early summer-movie Oscar buzz? Road to Perdition? Minority Report? Winona Ryder in Mr. Deeds?

Rita Kempley: Columbine: I'm partial Freddie Prinze Jr. for Scooby Doo.

Rita Kempley: Thanks for dropping in, everyone. I'm sorry I couldn't get to all your quips and questions, pass on all your greetings. Hope to hear from you next time. Bye

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