Rita Kempley (Craig Cola/ washingtonpost.com)

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It's Friday afternoon and you can almost taste the popcorn. Whether you're planning to hit the theater or your local video store, Rita's here to help you wade through the sea of choices.

It's also your chance to be a movie critic. Share your picks and pans, and tell us how things would be different if you ran Hollywood. Who would you cast in your movies and why?

A transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

Alexandria, Va.: Hi Rita,

Sort of a down week for Queens, huh? Glad we've still got you. I want to recommend a little movie that many more people should see: "Muriel's Wedding." It stars Toni Collette and Rachael Griffiths in an Australian comedy about the fat girl who gets what she wants and finds it not as advertised, but it's got numerous serious points to make and some great laughs too. First time I ever saw Rachel Griffiths and I thought she was fantastic in the role of a true friend.

Rita Kempley: Hi Alexandria:

Mum's gone. Poor dear, I thought they'd never put her six feet under. I love "Muriel's Wedding," too. A little movie with a lot of surprises. Glad you brought it up.

Manassas, Va.: I had a chance to see "Frailty" this week -- and people were walking out of the theater in the middle of the film -- and laughing at lines that they weren't supposed to laugh at! Folks, this one is dead in the water! It's horrible! Absolutely horrible!

Rita Kempley: Manassas: And it's also totally horrible.

Silver Spring, Md.: ¿Donde está "Y Tu Mamá También"? Is this playing in Washington yet, and if so where, as I have not been able to find it? I have a friend in Seattle (hardly a hotbed of Latino culture) who saw it last weekend, and NPR has already done a story on it, so I am very surprised this is not yet playing in D.C.

Rita Kempley: Good news. It opens here on May 3.

Dark Corner of the Style Section: Dear Carolyn:

Help me, help me... I'm a 50-something guy unnaturally obsessed with Cameron Diaz' a**.

(oh, wait, wrong chat...)

Rita Kempley: Dear Steve:

It's too late. You are beyond help. The only possible cure for your condition...Oops, wrong chatterbox

EraserheadGuy, D.C.: Blech...haaack...ptooie....Back from a sunny Florida vacation with the Eraserhead clan, and I am still trying to get the bad taste out of my mouth. The trip itself was fun notwithstanding the inevitable tense moments that come from spending a whole week with the kinfolk. Unfortunately, just as I predicted, we took in a movie at the local octoplex. Our votes were split between "Ice Age" (my pick) and The Rookie," (from E-Mom, the baseball nut) so we split the difference and saw "Panic Room," a flick offensive in too many ways to enumerate. Rita, that 'un could be supporting evidence for some hypothesis in your research project, should you actually care to sit through it. To their credit, none of the others liked it, but afterward, in a general discussion about movies, my youngest brother reminisced fondly about that time long ago when I took him to "Eraserhead." I’ll have to tell that story here sometime. Ah, the mEmoriEs....

Rita Kempley: EraserheadGuy: I have missed all of you to death. Welcome back home. I saw Panic Room and couldn't help wondering why Jodie Foster was doing another imperiled Pauline thriller. Not to mention how the ex-husband got the crap beaten out of him. I'm thinking that was his punishment for leaving Jodie for a younger woman. Nevermind how tedious it was. .

Fresh Meadows, N.Y.: DO you have any good movie you suggest for me and my wife to see this weekend? I live in New YOrk and It is costly, so anything really worth my money?

Rita Kempley: I would go with either "Kissing Jessica" aor "Moonsoon Wedding. Some critics liked "Changing Lanes," but I thought it was just another poor yuppie dilemma movie.

Silver Spring, Md.: Does someone need to dump a bucket of cold water on Stephen Hunter? I'm a guy and appreciate a well-formed female body, but Hunter's panting over Cameron Diaz this morning was pretty close to lecherous. What would people say if you or another female reviewer wrote a review that revolved completely around, for example, Ben Affleck's tail-end?

Rita Kempley: I haven't really paid a lot of attention to Ben Affleck's rear end, but I am sure it is worthy of mention. I watched all of "Changing Lanes" and not once was I distracted by his tail-end. This could be a short-coming on either or our parts. When I am in the office, I usually dump a cup of ice in his pants.

K Street, Washington, D.C.: Hi Rita,

I, too, suffered through the awfulness of Frailty. How is it that "big time guys" like Stephen King and James Cameron would say things (in a trailer, no less) along the lines of "The Best Horror Movie since the Shining!" Aren't they embarassed?

Rita Kempley: I was surprised to see that they endorsed it at all. I don't know if you remember Spy magazine and that little section they did called, I believe, "
Logrolling." Maybe directors are going to start provided glowing quotes for each other's movies. Of course, it's possible they don't see that many horror movies. Maybe they haven't gone to a movie since the "Shining," what with making so many themselves.

Suncoast: Queen Rita, pleeeeease don't give away anything more about "Panic Room." Was it really that bad? I've read lots of glowing reviews, and the trailer for it looked interesting. I had been looking forward to seeing it, but I respect your opinion and am now wondering if I should just wait for it to come out on video and find something else to blow my money on.

By the way (yes, I'm a little slow about seeing movies), I saw "Harry Potter" and loved it. However, I could have done without the couple sitting next to me who insisted on talking throughout the entire movie, despite my telling them "shush" a couple of times. What is it with people? Geesh. They should have been taken behind the theater and flogged.

Rita Kempley: Sorry, Suncoast: I don't think I gave anything that crucial away. I sure hope not. Personally I'd wait for the video.

When people are blabbing, I always ask them why they bothered to come to the theater. Obviously, they think they're more interesting than the feature. Sometimes it works. If not, go and get the manager. If he doesn't do anything, wait for them in the parking lot.

Washington, D.C.: Rita - Both reviews of "The Sweetest Thing" in The Post mystified me. One was a "I'm in love with Cameron Diaz" rant, the other anout what kind of movie it was (women acting like the do when men aren't around). Neither review used words like "good," funny," or even "script," that I'm used to reading in a review.

The closet I could glean that the movie might be good came from Desson Howe's comment that the stars looked like they had "a blast" making the movie. But can't the same be said for the cast of "Cannonball Run" -- I and II?!

Rita Kempley: It's not like adjectives are in short supply. I would say that Diaz has a lot more going for her than the movie has going for it. That as you astutely point out is no reason to spend money on a dumb comedy.

Hmmm: Am I the only one here who wasn't repulsed by "Panic Room?" Granted, it wasn't a great film, but it provided me a few hours of diversion and escape on a rainy weeknight.

Rita Kempley: Hi Hmmm:
I think repulsed is too strong a word. I'd go along with diverting, though I think the concept was a little silly. The bad guys are locked out, you're locked in, not a lot of tension there.

Mister Jimmy: Well Rita, Miss Edie and I will be setting sail come Monday for two glorious weeks in the Caribbean. Feel like taking a break from that sabbatical and tagging along? We can set up house for you out on our lovely veranda.

On a film-related note, what have you heard about "Lucky Break?" It sounds like it could be lots of fun. When does it open in Washington?

Rita Kempley: Mister Jimmy: If you are serious, I am so there. "Lucky Break" opens on the 19th. Darn, we'll have to catch it when we get back. I have a Jaws 3-D bath towel

CuriousAboutEHG:: Hey EraserheadGuy: My colleague and I are speculating-- how old are you?

And so as not to totally waste space, let me heartily recommend Monsoon Wedding for those who have not seen it. It has one scene (featuring marigolds) which may be the most beautiful scene I have EVER seen in a film. Just my opinion of course, but it's a vivid and very fun-to-watch movie.

Rita Kempley: Hi Curious:
Let's ask.

London Callin': Hi Rita

Re: King and Cameron endorsements. Wasn't there a producer who used to get ordinary folk with famous names and stick their endorsements on the ads? I am too late to congratulate Halle Berry -- not only is she half English, but she's also from my home town (honest)... Liverpool! We're an emotional lot from there so that explains the tears. Any famous Washington actors by the way?

Rita Kempley: Hi London:

Great to hear from you. I don't know about the phony celebritiy endorsementts, but I love the idea. We won't begrudge you a good cry.
Locals include Warren Beatty, his sister, Sandra Bullock and more..I loved Halle's acceptance speech.

Kittyluvr: One warning on "uriel's Wedding" -- Do not show it at a bridal shower. It's not exactly pro-wedding. I mean, I liked it, but I think the bride would have preferred "The Wedding Singer" or "Father of the Bride."

Rita Kempley: Kittyluvr: That would be like showing an episode of "Six Feet Under" at a wake.

State of Confusion: What's the deal with Diaz? Try as I might, I can't find hyper skinny blondes attractive. Me likes a wee bit of meat on the bones. Her odd facial architecture doesn't help much, either.

Rita Kempley: I don't think you're alone in that. I keep thinking about how stunning Monroe was. And as everybody knows, she was a size 12. I'm guessing 12s were smaller back then, but she had some meat on those bones. There aren't any really imposing actresses like Kathryn Hepburn or Joan Crawford around these days either. My theory is that women want to disappear. Or maybe the men who make most of the movies just want them to go away.

Dupont Circle, Washington, D.C.: I saw "Iris" last weekend. Good gracious.

An hour and a half into it and I'm bawling and feeling like a complete flake until I look around and see that EVERYONE ELSE is crying too!

What a marvelous film. And Jim Broadbent not only deserves this year's Supporting Oscar, but maybe last year's and the year before's too for his performance in it.

So now, what am I going to see next?

Rita Kempley: Dupont Circle:

Me too. Weeping at what a beautiful relationship they had. Yes, Broadbent was wonderful. And when you compare that performance to the burlesque role in "Moulin Rouge," his range is astonishing.

EraserheadGuy, D.C.: Re: My age.

You’re really trying to make my weekend, aren’t you, Curious? Let’s just say I am 29 and holding (with a white-knuckled grip. I joined today’s chat after a vigorous workout, trying to burn off all of the Cuban sandwiches I ate in Florida). I’m trying to forget that I have a birthday next month, so don’t y’all remind me, unless it’s to send me the DVD of "Eraserhead" as a present. Hint, hint.

Rita Kempley: What is it? About three hours on a treadmill per sandwich?

Arlington, Va.: hey rita,

First of all you rock!

Secondly, instead of spending a lot of money to go to the movies why not rent a good one? "The Usual Suspects" just came out on DVD.

It is one of my favorite movies and one of Kevin spacey's best.

Rita Kempley: Right back at you, Arlington. Sounds like a good idea to me.

Booomes Island: "Panic Room" -- Saw it with spouse. Was wondering why old guy would dump Jodie Foster. Was wondering why a flat door would pinch fingers, instead of squish them. Was wondering if the movie could have been made without using the F-word. Was wondering if Forest Whitaker's eye was make up -- or did he hurt himself? Was wondering if daughter's watch pierced her wrist or what. Was wondering why all Hollywood movies end with someone getting shot. Is that the way all crises end? Movie rating: Blah. Just Samo-Samo Blah.

Rita Kempley: Booomes? Have you chnaged your moniker? I kind of like Booomes. Warning to anybody who hasn't seen Panic Room. Booomes might be giving something away that you don't want to know. I don't think so really, but then I've seen it already. The F-word: I think you can gain at least 10 more pages per screenplay if you use the word as often as possible. I don't know about the pinching vs. Squinching. Forest Whitaker's eye has always been like that. At least, it's been that way since he's been doing movies. I don'tknow about the watch. It is easy to shoot someboyd. That way you don't really have to come up with an ending.

London Callin': Skinny gals -- I think Kate Winslet's looking pretty stunning for a non-thin actor! And talking the great Kate, at lunch today, one of the guests is producing her current movie shooting in Toronto, "The Ruth Etting Story." Buffs will know this is a remake of the terrific "Love Me Or Leave Me" with Doris Day and Cagney. I'm assuming Kate's taking the Day role as Al Pacino is co-starring. Singing and dancing ensues I was told.

Rita Kempley: Yes, she looked goregeous at the Awards. .

Kittyluvr again: Um, just for the record, I did not type "uriel's Wedding." There was an "M" when I submitted it. I appreciate the quotes being added though.

"Uriel's Wedding" sounds like a nifty title for an Ursula K. LeGuin novel.

washingtonpost.com: Oh my. Heartfelt apologies. -- Liz

Rita Kempley: Kittyluvr: Or maybe Uri Geller (sorry, I don't know how to spell the spoonbending guy's name.)

SciFiGirl: Rita -- so glad to see you back on the discussion schedule. Can we talk "Death to Smoochy?" Can we talk my dislike of Robin Williams, and how he redeems himself in this movie? So good to see him doing something darker and edgier. Ed Norton, as always, blew me away. He always seems completely natural in his roles, and I always totally believe him. It was really great to see an edgy, dark, cynical comedy. Somebody in a review compared it to "Network," and that was a perfect comparison.

Rita Kempley: SciFiGirl: I am so glad that you finally got past your unreasoning hatred for Robin. What a double bill: Patch Adams and Smoochy.

Washington, D.C.: What about Scotland, Pa.?

Rita Kempley: Thanks for the reminder.

Peoples's Republic: Re: Wedding and Funeral flicks. No, mon queen, for a funeral you must have "The Loved One" with Jonathan Winters as the Blessed Reverend!

Rita Kempley: And how about Pet Sematary?

Arlington, Va.: Hi Rita -

In your opinion, what would be the better sequel: "Glitter 2 -- Still Sparklin'" or "Freddy Got Fingered -- Again!"?

We should chat about the sequels that the general public were relieved weren't made.

Rita Kempley: Arlington:

I would hate to have to choose. But if I must, I'm going with Freddy Got Footed.

Alexandria, Va.: Rita, can you recommend any adult films?

Rita Kempley: You mean like x-rated or not Harry Potter-like? If it's the first, the only one I ever saw was "Debbie Does Dallas." My husband and I went with two lesbian firends. I was embarassed to be hetero.

EraserheadGuy, D.C.: BTW, a few weeks ago, someone opined that this chat was being hijacked by Hollywood publicists flacking their pet projects. Okay, I confess: I am being paid a fortune to hype “Eraserhead” in preparation for its DVD release. There, now you know.

Rita Kempley: I am glad somebody is making big bucks off this chat.

Mister Jimmy: Rita, speaking of "Moulin Rouge," I finally saw it a couple of weeks ago. What a movie! I went out and bought it the very next day. That Ethan... Whew! Who knew that gorgeous hunk of man could sing, too?

Rita Kempley: I was ooh-la-la-ing all the way through.

Cleveland Park, Washington, D.C.: Any filmfest recommendations?

Rita Kempley: I'm sorry I can't help. I haven't been part of the program this year. ARts is doing a Sunday piece on the fest though. That should help.

Alexandria, Va.: Gee, I've been waiting for you to come back! I saw the goofy "Day of The Triffids." I swear the director decided to underwrite his family holiday as they drove from London to Paris to Spain. One could accurately describe the marine biologist assistant's role as "screams well at plants."

Rita Kempley: Oh, I'm so glad you finally saw it. It's a good thing everybody went blind cause it takes those triffids about a quarter of hour to sneak up on a vicitm.

Arlignton, Va.: Rita,

What's your take on Robin Williams "Dark" period right now? I mean with death to Smoochy and the upcoming Al Pacino thriller "Insomnia?"

Is Williams trying to drastically change his image or just trying something new?

Rita Kempley: I think it's pretty obvious that he is. He's doing another movie--I don't think it's called insomnia--about a dark character who works at a photo-mat.

SciFiGirl: Oh, I don't think my hatred of Robin Williams is all that unreasoning. My reasons begin with Dead Poet's Society and end with What Dreams May Come. And everything pretty much in between.

A sequel I'm glad didn't get made? How about Play It Again: The Piano II. The tearjerker story of how Holly Hunter discovers that she never wants to see Harvey Keitel naked again.

Rita Kempley: No, I don't either. I was wrtining a screenplay called "Buddy Cheeks: Butt Double to the Stars," and Piano 2 won the Academy Awards. Buddy weeps when Harvey gets the Oscar. Harvey winks knowingly at Buddy. Naturally I gave up.

More on Panic Room: SPOILER ALERT. Don't you think the paranoid old zillionaire would have had a bunch of guns in there, so Jodie and tot could have blasted the bad guys right at the start? Oh, but then there wouldn't have been a movie. Silly me.

Rita Kempley: I was wondering why there was no food in there. But that would mean there wouldn't have been a convenient obstacle.

Reston, Va.: RE: Weddings and Funerals. How about "Four Weddings and Funeral?" Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Rita Kempley: Reston: Thanks. I started to do that but held myself in check.

London Callin': Movies that should never get sequeled. How about "The Phantom Menace" -- ooops, too late.

Rita Kempley: London:
I haven't seen it yet, but the acting in the trailers looks pretty awful...Attack of the Clones, The Encore.

Sir Synergy: Was brousing my local DVD store, and saw (to my horror), a hastily issued DVD of Peter Jackson's infamous puppet splatter movie "Meet the Feebles." Amongst all the puppet carnage portrayed on the case was a graphic proudly proclaiming "FROM THE DIRECTOR OF LORD OF THE RINGS!". Trust me, even Jackson would like this one best forgotten. In all the LOTR hubbub, why hasn't Miramax issued Jackson's masterpiece "Heavenly Creatures" on DVD. Heck, it was Kate Winslet's film debut, that should count for something.

Rita Kempley: Sir Syngergy:
Hi you. It does seem odd that they haven't. But I don't think I'd put down the entire puppet splatter genre.

WFU Alum: This is perhaps an odd decision, but I can't decide which to go for: "Van Wilder," "Smoochy," or would you suggest neither and just rent a video?

Also, my very first question on your chat was when "Big Trouble" would see the light of day. I thought it worth the wait, and was glad to finally see it. Your take?

Rita Kempley: WFU Alum:
Glad you enjoyed "Big Trouble." I'm amazed that it came out at all.

Rita Kempley: Thanks for dropping by this afternoon. Hope to hear from you again in two weeks. I'm sure that Mister Jimmy, Miss Edie and I will all be back from the Carribbean with many anecdotes to share.

I really missed talking to you all.Glad to be back.

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