The Unusual Suspects
With Rita Kempley
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, Feb. 1, 2002; 2 p.m. EST
It's Friday afternoon and you can almost taste the popcorn. Whether you're planning to hit the theater or your local video store, Rita's here to help you wade through the sea of choices.
It's also your chance to be a movie critic. Share your picks and pans, and tell us how things would be different if you ran Hollywood. Who would you cast in your movies and why?
A transcript follows.
Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control
over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.
Washington, D.C.:
Well I'll be horn-swoggled. What's this I her about a leave of absence? Say it ain't so. I pray on my grandpappy's grave you'll be back before long.
Rita Kempley: Well, I'll be a monkey's aunt! Please don't disturb gramps. I'll still be chatting with you folks every couple of weeks. We're planning a Valentine's Day Special on Thursday the 14th. ISOs welcome.
Broomes Island: Dearest Rita:
Please let us in on the details of your upcoming sabbatical?!?!
Rita Kempley: Dear Broomes: I won one of seven fellowships awarded to journalists by the Alicia Patterson Foundation. I'll be working on a project, modestly entitled "Sexual Mythology in Cinema Today." I figure the broader the better. My fellowship begins today and lasts through January 31, 2003. I won't be reviewing movies, but I will continue to go to screenings. Only if I hate a movie, I'm going to walk out. HAHAHA!
WFU alum:
First, thank you. I saw the Bakshi LotR DVD last night, and remembering your words of wisdom, I avoided buying it (though $15 isn't that bad a price...)
Mainly, though, a small story. So, my lady friend is stressed out last weekend, and sick of her apartment, so I say "let's go see a comedy in the theater." Unfortunately, the only thing playing is that Kung Pow thing, which the previews made look like a piece of utter trash. A few hours later, we emerged from the theater, laughing to the point of tears and struggling to catch our breath! A hearty endorsement to a movie that is completely different from its television ads (for those who haven't read the synopsis, it's actually a hilarious redubbed version of the 1970s Hong Kong movie "Tiger and Crane Fist"). I notice there was no offical WP review, but I'm curious if you've since gotten a chance to see it, and what your feelings were? I certainly wouldn't say it was necessarily a "good" movie, but perhaps the funniest thing I've seen in the theater in too long.
Rita Kempley: Good afternoon, WFU alum: "Kung Pow" didn't screen for critics, which usually means it's a dog. That's apparently not the case here. Anyhow, we usually don't review films that don't screen in advance unless they are high profile. Weekend does catch up the following week. Desson Howe doesn't do a full review, just a capsule. Thanks for the tip.
Bad Hair:
Does your colleague Stephen Hunter have a problem with ladies' hair?
Rita Kempley: Bad Hair: Maybe he just has a problem with hair period. He doesn't have much himself.
Herndon, Va.:
OUR QUEEN: Belatedly saw "The Man Who Wasn't There" and thought Billy Bob should get, at least, an Oscar nomination. Good to see a top level film in black and white, albeit lush black and white. For those who get "AMC" on cable, it's running two short interviews (when I saw them, they were back to back) with the Coen brothers about "The Man . . ." and with Robert Altman about "Gosford Park." Altman throws away a line about how he's not too concerned if the audience can't hear all the dialogue. He also notes that it would be impossible to use a cast of "Hollywood" stars of stature equal to his Brit cast, since, even if the stars could work together in an ensemble, their agents wouldn't allow it.
Rita Kempley: Sir Steve of Herndon: I imagine Billy Bob will get at least one Oscar nod, but it will probably be for "Monster Ball." But "The Man..." will be nominated and very well might win best cinematography. Lots of viewers have been complaining about the muddy dialog. That undoubtedly delights Altman. We call sources like him "quote machines." God bless him. As far as casting goes, the movie is set in England and it is about the British class system.
Mister Jimmy:
Happy Friday, Lovely Rita
I bring sad tidings re: Miss Edie. Her now eight-week "furlough" as turned into an indefinite "lay off." Methinks it's time for Edie to tighten up the mu-mu.
On a brigher note, she's got lots of time to see everything that's out there at the movies. She saw "Birthday Girl" this morning and gives her review in two words -- "P-U!"
Happy Friday, Rita!
Rita Kempley: Mister Jimmy: Happy Friday to you, too.
Is there anything we can do to help Miss Edie in her search for new employment. Hot tips? Canned goods? A dress for success mu-mu? If so, please let us know.
I do believe that Miss Edie just might have a career in film criticism. Since I'll be off for a year...
Sir Synergy:
I remember you felt that LOTR was a stone cold Oscar lock, given the AFI award. Yet, Beautiful Mind and Moulin Rougue seemed to clean up at Golden Globes. If LOTR ends up with the most nominations, will it find itself back near frontrunner status.
Should the SAG awards been seen as a bad portent for Will Smith, Steve Buscemi, or even Nicole Kidman?
By the way, My Queen, all your subjects must be ordered to purchase the new DVD of Breaking Away. One of the overlooked gems of the 1970's (not just because I went to IU, either)
Rita Kempley: Sir Synergy: I still believe LOTR is a lock. It might garner a nomination for another sir, Ian McClellan, and another for the director. It's also sure to pick up a slew of technical awards and perhaps one for screenplay adaptation.
I'm afraid the SAG awards are bad news for Smith, Buscemi and Kidman because the actors choose the candidates in the acting categories. Maybe they don't want to ruffle Tom's feathers and maybe they didn't bother to see "Ghost World."
Smith's performance, however, really wasn't as strong as many others this year.
Re: Sabbatical:
So who's filling in for you, or will S. Hunter do it all?
Rita Kempley: Ann Hornaday, who took the film critics job that Steve left at the Baltimore Sun, will be filling in for me.
Kingstowne, Alex:
Rita,
Why were there no warnings of "Kung Pow!"? My wife and I saw it on Sunday, but we still experience the lingering bad taste of "KP". Readers, you've heard it here: The movie is not worth even a dime or two minutes of your resources.
Rita Kempley: Dear Kingstowne: It appears that you and Alum went to different movies. That's what people always say to me when I disagree with another critic. Hilarious, no?
Herndon, Va.:
MY QUEEN: Sorry I didn't make myself clear on the one Altman quote -- as I understood it, he was saying in ANY ensemble cast, he couldn't use "Hollywood stars" due to their inability, or their agent's inability to let them work together the way a "Brit" group would. I assume part of his reasoning was an assumption that most of the Brits worked their way up through the "theata" and so were used to ensemble work, either as a lead, or as a "supporting." Will your "sexual mythodology" dissertation include porn?
Rita Kempley: Porn: Yes. Does Snow White and the Seven Dwarves count?Furthermore I will expect the Suspects to provide lots of .
Stephen Hunter's Reviews:
I thought he was gonna wet himself while reading his review of "Legally Blonde."
Rita, although I'm thrilled for you, are you sure your sabbatical has to last the full year?
Rita Kempley: It will be my first break in 23 years, but you never know. Stephen might get to steaming over some babe and blow a gasket or something.
London Callin':
Hi Rita
Went to see 'In the Bedroom' this afternoon. Fantastic flick until two thirds in, when it starts running backwards and upside down! Great if it had been 'Memento', I suppose. Of course, no time to respool, so got a refund and told to come back again. Anything that annoying happened to you - apart from seeing Scary Movie 2, that is?
Rita Kempley: Hi London Callin': Ugh. I'm going out with a review of "Slackers," another coarse teen sex farce. Upside down and backwards. What will they think of next?
Bethesda, Md.:
Do you really dislike Stephen Hunter as much as it seems from these -- not just today's -- discussions or is there some jesting there that I'm missing?
Rita Kempley: Bethesda: I thought I was kidding. I'll ask my pod mate Lonnae to answer: Hi, I'm Lonnae. Um, no. Huh-uh. Not really. Not usually. Sometimes though. Okay, bye-bye now.
Curious minds:
Curious minds want to know if your colleague Stephen Hunter is married or single?
Rita Kempley: What is this the Stephen Hunter Hour:
Steve was married, but is divorced and currently involved with a sports writer at the Baltimore Sun.
EraserheadGuy, D.C.:
Rita, against your advice, I saw "Amelie" and rather liked it. You know, not every movie has to be gloomy, squalid, perverse, angst-ridden, obscure, scatological, sardonic, lymphatic, phlegmy, pinguidinous, or coraciform for me to like it. Of course, it helps if a flick embodies some or preferably all of those qualities, but every now and then a sweet, charming, and uplifting pic like “Amelie” gets through my dEfEnsEs. If “Amelie” had been made by an American, I’m sure it would have been too cutesy. (Hollywood will surely remake it that way.) But I think anything by the director of “City of Lost Children” would register on the Eraserhead-o-meter.
And speaking of angst-ridden, perverse, coraciform, etc., what’s the buzz on Todd Solondz’s new one “Storytelling?”
Rita Kempley: EraserheadGuy: Did you see "Delicatessen?" It's a must for pEoplE who eat people. Same director as "Children" and "Amelie." I can see that your move to Maryland has made you a mErrier fellow.
WFU alum:
For some reason, whenever any of the LiveOnline hosts mentions "pods" or "pod mates" the first thing that comes to mind is the Matrix scene with Neo in the red goo. Is that more or less how it feels?
Rita Kempley: Actually red goo would be an improvement. But it's place free-floating angst and flourescent pallor and shared stale air. We all love it.
Herndon, Va.:
GLORIOUS LEADER: As far as "Kung Pow" is concerned, my 16-year-old high school junior thought it was the funniest comedy he's ever seen, so . . . 50 to 1 the movie stinks.
Rita Kempley: That's one for and 2 against.
.aV, notgnilrA:
Dear Rita-
Why has Memento been snubbed in movie award nominations to date? I thought it was one of the freshest, most intriguing and mentally stimulating movies I've seen, and not just in 2001. Will the Oscar folks ignore it as well?
Rita Kempley: I agree wholeheartedly. It opened early in the year, which is usually a factor, and it's a small film. I hope it at least gets a best original screenplay nomination.
Mt. Rainier :
Congratulations! We'll miss the reviews of course, but so glad you'll drop in for the chat. Yes, I can imagine the gloriousness of being able (finally) to walk out of a totally bumming movie. Which privilege we all take for granted.
Rita Kempley: Thank you, so much. You can come over and have a piece of farewell pie.
ArtMovieLover, Va.:
One of your chat answers thus far has commented on "sexual mythology in cinema" while another has mentioned "Gosford Park."
Since I still haven't seen "Park," and you've been known to rip good ol' Altman for his portrayals of women, could you put those two together for me and tell me whether I should make a point of seeing "Gosford Park"?
...Ya know, Altman makes a movie a year, so Ann will get a crack at one of his films, too.
Rita Kempley: ArtMovieLover: Good to see you back. Ooh. I'll have to write a special section about gyno movies: "Mr.T and the Women," "Dead Ringers." I didn't have any problems with "Gosford" but as we've pointed out, you can't always hear what they are saying.
Laurie:
Rita ---
We (the family) thought it was odd that you were not reviewing the normal number of films of late --- now we know. Enjoy the time away. 2002 should be the year of the Unusuals Oscar Gala.
Rita Kempley: Laurie: I have been easing my way out. Got to hide all my cool geegaws from Ann.
Yes, a gala is in order.
Re: Memento:
Don't even count on a writing nomination. The film was pointedly disqualified by the Writer's Guild because of a dispute over whether it was original or an adaptation.
Rita Kempley: Oh, darn.
EraserheadGuy, D.C.:
Yep, I sure did see and like “Delicatessen.” But I have not yet seen “Moulin Rouge.” You’ve thrown down the gauntlet by naming it as this year’s best pic. I will have to finally see it when it gets its Oscar re-release. I avoided it all last year, because I had hoped a movie about the Moulin Rouge would be rarified, absinthe-drenched, and platyhelmenthic. But enough smart people have raved about it to pique my interest. (EraserheadMom hated it -- probably a plus.) You think it has any of the right qualitiEs for little moi’s viewing pleasure?
Rita Kempley: EraserheadGuy: You are no longer so easily pegged, what with this "Amelie" thing going on.
Re: Beautiful Mind:
When Jeremy Irons was describing the plot of Beautiful Mind at the Golden Globes, I halfway expected him to add "and it has a heart" just to complete the Player-esque vibe I'm increasingly getting. I know biopics are going to change some facts, but I get uncomfortable whenever Opie and crew extol the inspirational "love" story of the Nashes, especially because they were in fact divorced for several decades.
Rita Kempley: You would have a better chance of getting anthrax than the real skinny on "Beautiful Mind."
Somewhere, USA:
I must have missed something ... I honestly thought that the Lord of the Rings was the absolute worst movie to watch: at the end, watching a tear make its way down a hobbit's cheek for a full minute, I was begging for the lights to come on so I could go home...
Rita Kempley: I'm getting all choked up just thinking about it.
MagnoliaGuy, Alex., Va.:
Slow movie news week so I'll mention this: As Disney plans to release Stephen Chow's SHAOLIN SOCCER in the U.S. this spring in a badly edited/truncated form even though this was the top box office hit of 2001 in many Asian countries, I was wondering what you thought of the fact that when Miramax/Disney buy a Hong Kong film for U.S. distribution, they insist on editing it, adding different music, adding different sound fx, etc. and yet, apparently, when other distributors pick up HK flicks, they don't seem to be doing this as often or in an as obvious manner. What is Miramax's problem? Small issue but really, I hate seeing any film from any country in a form that was different than the original creator's version.
Rita Kempley: MagnoliaGuy: I don't think they should fiddle with the original without the director's okay. But if they must, they should at least make note of the fact.
Laurel:
The five Best Pic nominees:
Grosford Park
In the Bedroom
A Beautiful Mind
Black Hawk Down
Lord of the Rings
The five that should be:
Black Hawk Down
Memento
Ghost World
Man Who Wasn't There
Amelie
The five most entertaining:
Tailor of Panama
Moulin Rouge
The Closet
Joy Ride
Mulholland Drive
Rita Kempley: Good choices, although I am sure others will disagree.
Dupont:
Rita,
What movie would you choose if you had to for an evening out with your sister?
Charlotte Gray or Godsford Park?
Rita Kempley: While I didn't especially admire Charlotte Gray, it does have it's romantical moments. Gosford Park is more like a sardonic cross between "Upstairs, Downstairs" and an Agatha Christie. It depends on your mood.
Boonies, Va.:
Just finally saw Moulin Rouge last night with two friends. I think we caught a lot of flies with our open mouths. It was bizarre, it was funny, it was romantic, it was tragic, did I mention freaking bizarre? The comedic high was the Like a Virgin number and the dramatic high was the last scene of Spectacular Spectacular (money thrown in face, et al). I'm glad I saw it with friends and not my husband -- he would have run screaming out of the room after five minutes.
Rita Kempley: Boonies: I love the audacity of it.
HEYITSAD IN FALLS CHURCH, VA:
The most totally undderrated movie of 2001 - The Others. While it had a resemblance to The Sixth Sense, it was much fresher in movie originality then all the remakes 2001 seemed to have.
Rita Kempley: It was a wonderful movie. It really wasn't marketed extensively.
Courthouse:
Hi Rita -
Glad you'll still find time to be with us during this exciting year for you.
I really liked Gosford Park. I found the key to enjoying it was to not concentrate on the dialogue I was missing. I felt a good portion of the movie was trying to show viewers the differences in the classes and the upstairs/downstairs scenarios. I found the dialogue that was important to the actual story being told was pretty easy to follow. Maybe it was just me.
Rita Kempley: Courthouse: Perhaps the rest of us are going deaf from the loud soundtracks.
On "Somewhere, USA" comment:
LOTR - I'm sorry you didn't like it but I'm assuming you must be the one who likes Kung Pow. Enough said.
Rita Kempley: You kids, stop fighting.
London Callin':
Rita -- Get some sex conspiracy theories into your Sexual Mythology dissertation (Monroe?)and maybe Oliver Stone will turn it into a movie. Who do you see playing you?
Rita Kempley: I think I would be played by The Narrator.
Suncoast:
Okay, I edit books for a living, and EraserheadGuy has completely overwhelmed me with his impressive command of vocabulary. Pardon me while I consult my dictionary. . . .
Rita Kempley: Suncoast: I would just go straight for the thesarus.
Baltimore, Md.:
Will your loyal fans have a chance to see this project when it's done?
Rita Kempley: Apparently my musings will be printed on some web site or magazine or somesuch. If not, I will conduct a special reading. All proceeds will go to Miss Edie's job search.
Arlington, Va:
If Sissy Spacek wins the Oscar, will she dress up more than at the Golden Globes and will it be for, as they say, her body of work? The word of mouth is Wilkinson and not Spacek has the star turn in the Bedroom. Thanks.
Rita Kempley: Arlington: Actually, they both give terrific performances. Neither sees him or herself as a star. I don't think Sissy much cares about what's she is wearing as long as it covers her up.
Washington, D.C.:
I didn't really care for LOTR either. It was pretty much what I expecting -- fine story, Big Epic Feel, definitely gunning for an Oscar. I went with my husband who likes the books, and he agreed that it was a little long -- the Butt-o-Meter was off the scale by the end. Not bad, though. And the elf dude was hot!
Rita Kempley: Loved the elf dude, but my heart belongs to Aragorn. Three hours: that is pushing the Butt-o-Meter (copyrighted by Steve of Herndon).
Dayton, Ohio:
The prospect of an Americanization of Amelie bothers me. Why don't Europeans start remaking American classics? Turnabout is fair play ...
Rita Kempley: Because they don't want to make movies about Dinosarus, grinches and Apes?
Somewhere, USA:
"I don't think Sissy much cares about what's she is wearing as long as it covers her up" which puts her a step above entirely too many award show atendees.
Rita Kempley: Good observation.
Georgetown:
Hey Rita, while in Brazil this past month I saw a wonderful documentary by an American called "Promises", about Israeli and Palestinian kids. Any idea on when and where we'll be able to see it here (if it hasn't passed already)?
Rita Kempley: I think it has already played in the area. Perhaps at the Jewish Film Festival.
Bowie:
Didn't the person who saw Kung Pow see the note in the Weekend section that it had not been screened for critics?
That is one of the two sure signs of an absolutely rotten, rotten, rotten film. (The other is citing "Sixty Second Preview" in print ads.)
Rita Kempley: Or attributing quotes in 2 pt. type
HEYITSAD IN FALLS CHURCH, VA:
Why has IRIS not been planned for release in this area yet?
Do you feel that Jim Carey possibly might get nominated for his acting in The Majestic eventhough he got snubbed in the Golden Globes?
Rita Kempley: Iris is supposed to open Friday 15. I don't think Jim Carrey has a prayer.
Re: Vocabulary:
Actually, I looked up platyhelmenthic on dictionary.com and they have no such word. They suggested perhaps I meant platyhelmInthic. A plathelminth is a flatworm so I have no freakin clue what E-Guy was trying to say with that one.
Rita Kempley: Too bad. I was thinking it was a platypus in the act of practicing his arithmatic.
Pinero?:
Is Pinero a movie to be considered for the Oscars this year?
Rita Kempley: Possibly, for Benjamin Bratt's performance. I would think that Bratt would have to pay more dues before that happened.
Length of LOTR:
If three hours was too much for LOTR movie-goers, I wonder how they will feel as the Harry Potter films continue to get longer with the number of pages in the books being much longer than the first book.
Rita Kempley: Perhaps we should cushion the Butt-O-Meter.
Sabbatical Haiku:
The Queen in repose.
Stephen Hunter tries in vain ...
but crown does not fit.
Rita Kempley: Why thank you. But you shouldn't have. I'm blushing.
Rockville:
General alert: "Slackers," which I saw at a screening this week," is simply one of the worst movies to creep out of Hollywood, or anywhere, since, well, "Thirteen Ghosts." Both of these are just simply horrible. And on a brighter note: The Old Greenbelt movie theater is showing some classic Harold Lloyd movies tomorrow, Saturday, at noon -- for FREE! And if you haven't been to this great theater, you should go. It's a great place to see a movie.
Rita Kempley: Thank you. I tried to sound an alert in today's review---stinks like a cat box that hasn't been changed in a couple of hundred years--but extra help is always appreciated.
Dianetics, Calif.:
At least my man John hasn't been forced to go globe-trotting with a Spanish actress of questionable ability. I'm hoping that Broken Arrow II is in pre-production...
Rita Kempley: Dianetics: John can always be counted upon as a man of taste and decorum.
Miss Edie via Mister Jimmy:
"Thanks for the kind words and support, Dear. Hopefully I won't have to put up a double-mortgage on the double-wide."
This is Mister Jimmy. Why do I feel like Whoopi Goldberg in "Ghost"?
Rita Kempley: I don't think it will come to that. You might have to rent a room though.
Just Wondering:
Is it pronounced "Butt-OH-meter," or "ButtOMmeter" (like thermometer)?
Rita Kempley: I believe it is the former.
HEYITSAD IN FALLS CHURCH, VA:
What's wrong with Jim Carey's performance? What does he have to prove to show he is a good actor? I mean we went from Ace Ventura to The Truman Show to The Majestic. It seems very similar to Tom Hanks. Splash to Big to Philadelphia but Tom Hanks is the Academy's best friend now!
Rita Kempley: I think he proved has proved he's a good actor several times over--especially fine in "The Truman Show"--but this performance isn't his best and the movie didn't do well.
Arlington:
Will your project include a discussion of the disturbing level of misogyny in movies like the heinous "General's Daughter" or would that just be a waste of disk space?
Rita Kempley: Yes, absolutely.
Length and Harry Potter:
I heard tell rumors that they might have to split the fourth Harry Potter into TWO movies to keep the length manageable. There's part of me that wonders if they'll actually make it through all seven volumes in the theater.
Rita Kempley: Well, they did make four Rocky movies and to date, three Jurassic Parks and lord only knows how many Halloweens.
WFU Alum:
Sigh. Guess there are only four of us on the planet that enjoyed Kung Pow (myself, my girlfriend, a high school junior, and 1 out of 28 reviewers on Rotten Tomatoes). I can see where it wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea. It plays in heavily to the kind of person who likes MST3K, or Whose Line (especially when they do the Film Dub game, always a favorite of mine).
Rita Kempley: We all have our quilty pleasures.
Rita Kempley: Well, I've got to go make a speech and cut the sheet cake--beats cheese and fruit. Wish you were here. Until Valentine's day...adieu.
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