Sandra Bernhard

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Sandra Bernhard

Actor, Comedian, Entertainer
Monday, Feb. 25, 2002; 4 p.m. EST

Sandra Bernhard's latest production, "Hero Worship," revels in satire and the actress-comedian-singer’s famously caustic wit. The show uses spoken word and several musical genres –- backed by a five piece rock band – to tackle classic Bernhard topics such as pop stars, popular culture and unpopular politics. Bernhard will be appearing at George Washington University's Lisner Auditorium on Saturday, March 9.

Comedienne/actress/vocalist Sandra Bernhard began honing her skills as a stand-up comic at age 19. Barely in her 20s Bernhard decided to move to Hollywood, where she had no problem landing gigs at local comedy clubs. Her first real professional experience came when she landed a regular spot on the "Richard Pryor Show." Bernhard has also appeared in several films and TV shows while still finding time to develop skills as a vocalist. The critical success of Bernhard's solo album in 1985, "I'm Your Woman," prompted Bernhard to try her hand at theater, and in 1988 she appeared in her own off-Broadway show titled "Without You I'm Nothing." She headed back to theater in 1998 with "I'm Still Here...Damn It!" Bernhard received stellar reviews for her performance in the one-woman act.

The transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

Sandra Bernhard: I've played D.C. many times over the years and I look forward to coming and particularly now, given the nature of the world theater and our present administration and some of the disturbing aspects of all these important maters.

Baba Wawa: If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

Sandra Bernhard: I'd probably be a saguaro cactus. Thorny on the outside but sweet on the inside.

Rockville, Md.: What was high school like for you?

Sandra Bernhard: It was a time for me to develop my sharp wit and survival tehniques.

D.C.: What do you mean by "Hero Worship" and how can we worship 'non-existent heros' in today's society?

Sandra Bernhard: The whole title's done firmly with tongue in cheek.

Arlington, Va.: Are you going to Liza's wedding?

Sandra Bernhard: I haven't been invited yet unfortunately.

New York, N.Y.: Hurrah, I'm glad you're back. Thoughts on the teen pop culture? Britney and Justin and the rest?

Comments on Cheney and Lay?

Sandra Bernhard: Maybe they should become more aware of Britney and Justin. They should all get together. And they can all figure it out together.

Washington, D.C.: How do you feel about the disproportionate value that society places on the views of celebrities?

Sandra Bernhard: I try as a celebrity not to indulge in them myself. It's always good to maintain your humanity.

Washington, D.C.: Do you exercise?

Sandra Bernhard: Yes, I do. I workout a couple times a week. And it keeps me going.

Mindnumbing Surburbia: You are so darn hot. Did Hef make a run at you after your Playboy appearance? I reckon he'd give up his seven girlfriends for a shot at the title.

Sandra Bernhard: Thanks. But no he didn't.

DC Gal: Hello Miss Sandra:

I have loved all your divine performances -- can't wait for the D.C. show.

Will you consider coming back to TV full-time after your recent show on A&E? Was it a fun gig? I think you proved to be a great alternative to much of the lame crap on TV right now.

Sandra Bernhard: We were picked up on A&E and then when 9/11 happened they cancelled all of their new programming so we're looking for a new home.

Don't go changing...: Hey Sandra, U R awesome. I've always admired how you've "maximized" your looks and embraced your special features, however it seems that you lips look smaller--any surgery?

Sandra Bernhard: I had to have them reduced; they were just too big.

St Louis, Mo.: How should we ensure that in the next presidential election the ballots are tallied correctly?

Sandra Bernhard: Hopefully the Bushes will have fulfilled their vengeance against the Democrats and therefor things will return to a more uncorrupt state.

Alexandria, Va.: You once went on David Letterman's TV show and asked him to have sex with you.

Did he?

Sandra Bernhard: No.

Washington, D.C.: What's your opinion on the way that Diane Sawyer & Barbara Walters fussed over the "outing" interview of Rosie O'Donnell?

Sandra Bernhard: Maybe they're secretly closet lesbians themselves.

Arlington, Va.: Isn't it sad for a 40-something diva to expose her breasts, tease Letterman, make out with Madonna and turn supermodel? Hell, no, Sandra, we've missed your audaciousness. Next time, don't do Will and Grace, do it with Malcolm in the Middle. Any truth to the rumor you want to be the second woman governor of Arizona, your home state? Peace.

Sandra Bernhard: I stay as away from Arizona as possible.

Alexandria, Va.: Did you develop your sense of humor (perfect, I might add) as a defense mechanism?

Sandra Bernhard: Initially yes. But then I actually started to enjoy the deeper levels of being a performer.

Rosslyn, Va.: Where were you on the morning of Sept. 11? Where did you go to seek comfort (if you needed it)?

Sandra Bernhard: I actually was picking up my little girl at school and people came to me for comfort.

Washington, D.C.: Are you a practicing Jew? If not, do you believe in God?

Sandra Bernhard: I'm a practicing kabbalistic Jew, meaning I'm more tapped into the spiritual essence of Judaism.

Curious: What comedians (-iennes) influenced you? Who do you like of the current crop?

Sandra Bernhard: People like Lily Tomlin, Carol Burnett, Carol Channing, Mary Tyler Moore were my early influences and now I really like the work of Christoperh Guest and his entourage.

Washington, D.C.: Hey Sandra! You rock!

Thoughts on the florida gay adoption piece, and/or rosie (finally!) coming out?

Sandra Bernhard: If Rosie feels that it will help the causes of people in a similar situation, then bravo for her.

Traverse City, Mich.: To you, who are the two funniest people on this planet?

Sandra Bernhard: My friend Paul Mooney and Christopher Guest.

Pennsylvania: What were you like as a child? Were you quiet? Did you challenge authority? When did you begin singing and acting?

Sandra Bernhard: I've always been an observer of human nature. Always had a rebellious streak. I began singing when I was like five years old and I guess I've always acted on some level.

Tinseltown USA: The public is dying to know the one question that only you can answer, yet no one dares ask: Who is more fun to spank, Christopher Lloyd or Madonna?

Sandra Bernhard: I guess it's a tossup.

Rockville, Md.: Do you have children? If not, would you ever want to have any?

Sandra Bernhard: I have one and she's a delight.

Arlington, Va.: Hi Sandra:

I just saw in an earlier posting that you are from Arizona. I feel your pain. Did you go to high school there? If so, which one?

Thanks.

Sandra Bernhard: Yes, I went Saguaro High School and since then I've set myself free.

Metro Center, Washington, D.C.: I loved you on the "Will and Grace" episode about the condo (townhouse?). Any likelihood of revisiting that series or any other television shows or sitcoms?

Sandra Bernhard: I'll be on Will and Grace Thursday night -- a new episode in a brief reprieve.

Kingstowne, Va.: Sandra, you've been described as "intimidating." Do you think you're intimidating?

Sandra Bernhard: Considering the passive nature of most of our present performers I can imagine my work to be interpreted as intimindating. But in reality it's just intelligent and well thought out.

Washington, D.C.: Greetings,

I was one of the 1,500 cyclists you entertained in August of 2000 during the Alaska AIDS Vaccine Ride. It was cold, rainy and we were tired from cycling 100 miles that day but you provided the greatest entertainment to warm our hearts and souls.
We loved it. You're great!

Question: Any interesting or funny stories about the leading men you've worked with (Adrian Paul, Tom Arnold)?

Sandra Bernhard: No, not really. You don't really get all that close to the people when you're just working with them a short period of time.

Important Education Research Office: You developed your wit during your school years? Were you a class clown or was your wit limited to social interactions with peers? What trouble did you get into at school?

Sandra Bernhard: I've always described myself as the class commentator as opposed to the class clown. As a result I was always getting sent out into the hallway to regroup.

Re: Kabbalism: Did you turn Madonna on to the Kabbala? What do you think of its trendiness among celebrities, especially of the non-Jewish variety?

Sandra Bernhard: Not directly but through mutual friends. It's a wonderful spiritual discipline and it's meant to be open for everyone. I think it's a very positive thing.

Washington, D.C.: Can we look for you in any movies coming out soon?

Sandra Bernhard: Not as of right now, now. But I'm sure that other things will come up soon.

Sandra Fan: Loved ya in "Track 29." But still scratching my head over what the hell that movie was about. Did you ever figure it out?

Sandra Bernhard: No, I'm right there with you. I couldn't either.

Are you enjoying this?: I sense from the terseness of your replies that you're just trying to get it over with.

Sandra Bernhard: It's not easy to speak in long drawn-out sentences. There are certain prohibitions communicating on chat lines, especially since I'm not compuer savvy and there's someone else typing. My humble apologies if I don't sound enthusiastic.

Arlington, Va.: Hello, Ms. B. What's a typical day like for you?

Sandra Bernhard: Up early getting my little girl out the door to school, workiong out at the gym, lunch with a friend, work-related telephone conversation late in the afternoon, making dinner for my little girl and then either performing or doing something business in the evening.

Boston, Mass: What was it like working with Martin Scorcese and Robert DeNiro?

Sandra Bernhard: One of the best experiences of my acting career. Very interesting and very diverse experience.

Brattleboro, Vt.: I put you in a class with Lynda Barry, Andy Kaufman, Lenny Bruce, and Katherine Hepburn.

How do you go about planning a big show? I've only seen you "casually" answering questions in D.C. about 10 years ago. How do you build something like "Without You I'm Nothing?"

Sandra Bernhard: It's always a work in progress and a lot of it is improvised on stage as the show progresses.

Washington, D.C.: Is there any material on being a mom going to be in your show? Has motherhood affected the kind of material you do?

Sandra Bernhard: Yeah, there's so sort of funny, ironic stuff but not a lot. I tend not to exploit my kid.

Washington, D.C.: How has your comedy been redefined in the wake of Sept. 11? Any more criticism than the norm?

Sandra Bernhard: Just a re-commitment to irony and honesty and the truth as I see it.

Brattleboro, Vt.: Dear Queen of Wit,

A couple of questions for you, m'lady:

- "Without You I'm Nothing" was a brilliant film. Is it coming to DVD?

- How are things going in the world, in your opinion? Who are the real terrorist threats?

- What is the secret of being in the "in crowd". Do I just wear something different and spend more on dinner? Any advice is welcome. Thank you, and rock on, grrrl.

Sandra Bernhard: We're working on having it released on DVD. I can't tell you when. The real terrorist threats are George W. Bush and his band of brown-shirted thugs. Just keep it real.

Sandra Bernhard: Looking forward to seeing everybody coming out and looking forward to coming to D.C. again. March 9. Come by and enjoy the show.

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