Bob Levey (Barbara Tyroler)

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Levey Live: Speaking Freely
Washington Post Columnist
Friday, May 10, 2002; 1 p.m. EDT

"Levey Live: Speaking Freely," hosted by Washington Post columnist Bob Levey, appears every Friday. It is a live, open-agenda discussion offering washingtonpost.com users around the world the opportunity to ask questions and discuss topics of their choice with Bob.

Fearless Bob takes your questions about virtually everything, from sports and politics (there's a difference?) to world events, Metro area traffic and issues raised in Bob's columns.

The transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

Arlington, Va.: Congratulations on your diet success! And shame on the abuse you took in this week's "Lean Plate Club" discussion from all those who are shocked by your embrasure of discipline as a key to losing weight.

Bob Levey: Was it really abuse? I thought it was a construtive debate about methods, but not a disagreement about goals. All roads lead to Rome. I never said--and never would say--that my approach (eat much less, exercise much more) would work for everyone, or would please everyone. I have the greatest respect for Sally, who is, after all, the beat reporter on dieting. I'm just the fat kid on the corner.

Washington, D.C.: Bob, enjoy reading you daily. Last week you did an article reminding us of what various neighborhoods used to contain. You mentioned Tysons Corner as having only a gas station. From the mid-50s, you can't forget Pflueger's Meat Locker -- an actual bus converted into a butcher shop. Mr. Pflueger was a German immigrant who owned many, many acres of land on Route 7 and willed it to his only nephew and his sole employee at the Meat Locker. My parents used to shop for meat there, and I fondly remember Mr. Pflueger for being so kind to me.

Please do more columns like this -- it's fun going back in time.

Bob Levey: More of these kinds of columns coming soon. Got a zillion additional memories from readers--all good. Happy to have this Pfluegerism, too.

Washington, D.C.: Bob,

Bravo to you for your Monday column about short taxi rides. I used to have the same problem as Jennifer in the column. I had a cast on my foot that made the short hike to my house from the Metro difficult and cabbies would always pass me up for a longer fare. Since I knew the cost would only be a few bucks I gave a tip the same amount as the cost of the trip so after awhile the cabbies liked picking me up. I see tipping big as a small cost since it brings good returns in service.

Bob Levey: I see why you did this, but it amounts to bribing your way to a level of service you should have had anyway. To say the least, the cab system in Washington, D.C., is miles short of where it should be. I still believe that meters would solve 99.9 percent of the problems.

Washington, D.C.: Afternoon, Bob!
Boy, could I EVER use some sage words of encouragement from "The Great One"! 46 years old, laid-off 3 months ago (FAA Contractor/Computer guy) and nothing looming on the horizon. Resumes I've sent aren't even acknowledged! Any advice for hanging-in-there? I know I'm not alone in this but the frustration and WORRY tends to overwhelm me at times. Thanks!

Bob Levey: I'm really with you, if that counts for anything. It's a fact of life that the ins never acknowledge job applications from the outs. They always say they don't have time, but what if the shoe were ever on the other foot? I think it's rude, haughty, discouraging. As for worrying, you know that it gets you nowhere but further down into the dumps. Best advice I've heard (from a 40-something pal who was in the same boat asd you): Make two network-y phone calls to pals every day. Make the calls even if you think the person won't take the calls, doesn't remember who you are, always hated your guts. Make them! You have to make your own luck here. Sitting back and hoping for an interview is a fool's game. Good luck!

Washington, D.C.: Hi Bob! I just wanted to say I love reading your columns (usually even the Children's Hospital ones)

I first read you in 1998 when I interned here in DC, then continued to read you online when I got back to the Midwest. I've been in DC almost 3 years now, and I am just so happy to be living in Washington. I love it because it's not intimidating like New York, it's got culture, sophistication, friendliness, free museums, great transportation, clean - for the most part, and such a great place to be young. There are times when I go past the monuments at night or walk past the Capitol on my way to work and just marvel at the fact that I live here. That I packed up, left the relative safety of my hometown and environs and did it Anyway, just thought I'd share my warm and fuzzy Washington feelings on a beautiful spring day!

Bob Levey: Thanks, and welcome home! Sometimes I think we work so hard and obsess so much over the news, money, the crisis of the moment, that we forget to look around us. I was driving my 15-year-old son to soccer practice the other day and he said he just couldn't imagine why anyone would ever not want to live here. I would have hugged him on the spot if I hadn't been driving down a two-lane road at the time. Kid gets it! The brain-level here is terrific. The physical beauty is hard to beat. The sense of being in the center of what counts if always here. Local life has taken huge leaps forward in the last 20 years, especially in the areas of the arts and community action. I'd never put down NYC, because it's all by itself atop the action heap. But I like it a little slower, thank you, and DC provides that, in the best sense.

Alexandria, Va.: Greetings Bob! Not to open up a PETA-esque can of worms again, but did you find this week's article/obit on Seattle Slew as ridiculous as I did? Okay, the horse was a champion, but come on guys, it was a HORSE!

Bob Levey: I've got to be careful here, since I angered thousands with my recent column about pet obituaries. But yes, I think treating a race horse as if he were a human is absurd. Even if the horse won some big races.

Boonies, Va.: I was struck by the 6-year-old's comment that she wasn't allowed to talk to strangers, but since she was lost she figured it would be okay. As a soon to be first time parent, I hope to be able to instruct my child in the way they should go. What would be good instructions for such a circumstance? Maybe tell her that if she is lost to find someone who looks like a store employee? If outside, maybe a cop?

Bob Levey: Yes, I'd say (and did say, to our kids) that you should always find someone in authority. Don't trust--or try to trust--Joe or Jane Blow. Find a cop first. Failing that, find someone in a uniform.

Silver Spring, Md.: I agree about pet obituaries. I recently lost a beloved cat, and thought that the best ways to honor his memory were to make a donation to the Washington Humane Society and, later, to adopt another cat from the shelter (where the first cat had come from). Saving a life (or more than one) is a fitting tribute.

Bob Levey: To suggest that this cat had been a part of the world in the same way a human might have been... well, I've already said it. Absurd! A pet is by definition a personal plaything. Why imply that its death is of public interest?

McLean, VA: Oh. My. God. Metro is fining a guy because he is justifiably ticked off for their lack of available elevators, failure to communicate same, and indifference to his plight? Swearing is uncool, but perfectly understandable in this instance. Metro ought to pay folks in his situation $25 everytime the elevators are out of service, and cab fare back to their destinations. It's not like he didn't try to find out which ones were operative -- and got bad information. Further, he has no other options. If elevators are out for "routine maintenance," Metro should resolve to do so only for alternate stations, and take into account what impact three sequential stations with broken elevators will have. Good grief.

Bob Levey: This $25 ticket came from the same police force that seems incapable of doing a single thing to stop illegal eating and drinking!
No way this ticket will stand up in court. Yes, there is an anti-cursing law, and the cop was right to invoke it. But he should have invoked judgment, too. Sometimes curses are uttered in anger, sometimes in frustration, sometimes to incite others. A good cop knows which is which.

Washington, D.C.: Dear Bob,

No question here. Really just wanted to make a brief comment. I know that Metro officials frequently monitor and respond to inquries on "Levey Live." I use Metro everyday and love it, but I was very disappointed to read about Jeremiah Hamilton, the young man who was fined for swearing in a red line station. I won't say that what he did is right- no one should talk to another person that way- but under the circumstances, I can understand his absolute frustration at not being able to exit three different stations because the elevators were broken and he is confined to a wheel chair.Metro does bear responsibility for that. I just wish Metro would reconsider the way they handled this. The world isn't always black and white. There are many shades of gray.

Bob Levey: The cop's first responsibility in a case like this is to ascertain what's wrong, not to hammer some poor guy who's handicapped. If the cop had taken the trouble to listen to what had just befallen this man, he would surely have understood the man's frustration.
By the way, why doesn't Metro do a much better job of announcing which elevators are busted? The only reliable information is on dry-erase boards outside kiosks. That's hardly the best place for someone in a wheelchair.

Bethesda, Md.: Hi Bob!

Congratulations on your weight loss. I've lost 50 pounds since last June and know how hard it is. Knock 'em dead, tiger!

My question: I was recently stuck in traffic on Wisconsin Avenue in Chevy Chase, and in the car next to me was a woman holding an infant on her lap in the front seat. No seatbelt (and she wasn't feeding the child...just holding her).

I dialed the police and reported the make, model, color, and license plate of the car along with a description of the occupants. The dispatcher told me that the police would never find the car and there wasn't much she could do with my information.

So aside from a traffic brawl (I have my own infant son in the car, so a confrontation is out of the question), how should I handle this in the future? I'm still ticked at the police dispatcher.

Bob Levey: The law says that failure to belt in a baby is not reason unto itself to pull a driver over. I'd have rolled down the window (as I often have) and voted with my voicebox. Something like this:
"Put that child in a seat belt RIGHT NOW or I'll call the cops!"
It has worked for me about 85 percent of the time.

Chantilly, Va.: Skinny Bob-

First, congrats on your recent "life-style change" success! Keep it up for a healthier you!

My question revolves around my ex-wife and my daughter...remember that commercial for a local news radio station? It's to serve as a segue into my real question: When will the Post return the Radio Lives column and its' associated Live Online forum? Frank Ahearns did an excellent job at both (even if it was too infrequent). When he left, he said the Post would have a fill-in, but I've yet to see or hear anything. What's the skinny, Skinny Bob?

Bob Levey: Water cooler buzz says the column might be renewed soon, although the big cheeses aren't so sure of the interest level out there. They should be. Cumulative radio audience in the DC market is nearly as great as the cumulative over-the-air TV audience.
By the way....
Could we please call me svelte, and not skinny?

Silver Spring, Md.: Bob, my parents (approaching age 80) want to relocate to the Maryland 'burbs to be closer to the grandkids. In addition to Leisure World, where else should they look?

Bob Levey: I'd need to know much more. Hobbies? Loaded with bucks? Semi-well-upholstered with bucks? Want a four-bedroomn house? Want an apartment? Want a diverse neighborhood? Do they use cars a lot? Would they like to rely on public transportation? The Maryland burbs cater to any of these, in diverse ways.

12th Floor Metro Center: Actually, Metro is getting better about letting us know which elevators/escalators are out of service on those nifty new boards that actually seem to be working most of the time now. The challenge for them, however, is can they keep these up to date?

Bob Levey: Exactly. And today's story suggests that they can do much, much better

Washington, D.C. -- re: Short cab rides: I used to have this problem until I discovered a wonderful solution. I don't tell the driver where I want to go until I am inside the cab.

Bob Levey: Doesn't always work. I often take cabs to the far extremities of Washington. If I hop in and announce where I'm going, you'd be AMAZED at how fast the cabbie discovers that he lacks gas, or has a dentist's appointment.
One guy tried this on me one night years ago. I hailed him in front of the National Press Building and asked to go to Chevy Chase, D.C. not enough gas to make the trip, said he. I can see your gas gauge, and it shows 3/4 of a tank, said I. He insisted the gauge was faulty. I insisted he was a liar, and I was going to teach him a lesson. Cost me a day off work, but I filed charges with the D.C. Taxicab Commission, which roasted him for $500 for failure to transport. I'm not proud of this in one way. Five hundred bucks is a stiff shot for a guy who drives a cab. But someone has to stand up, and make the law work. I guarantee you this clown will never try his faulty gas gauge line again

Oh Svelte One ...: I thought that Paul Fahri was taking over the radio gig. He seems to be writing quite a lot about radio these days. And tell TPTB that yes indeed, there is an audience out here for a weekly radio column AND chat.

Bob Levey: Paul hasn't been asked to do a regular column, or a regular radio chat. The thinking I'm hearing is that The Big Cheeses don't believe there's a regular need for either. They think irregular might satisfy the appetites of the great unwashed. Obviously, we both disagree.

Washington, D.C.: More memories of days gone by: Remember when you had to be white to buy a house in McLean? The Good Old Days weren't always Good.

Bob Levey: Never said they were. Good example of how they weren't. Thanks

Washington, D.C.: Bob: Noticed that someone asked in an earlier chat about Davey Marlin-Jones. According to a google search that I just did -- okay he was quirky, but appealing -- he is an associate professor at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, where he received the Outstanding Teacher Award for the School of Fine and Performing Arts.

Bob Levey: Good intelligence! Many thanks

Pets as people: 2 things here:

First, did you see the Hearsay column this week about the National Zoo not releasing animal medical records to a Post reporter because doing so would violate the animals' right to privacy?

Second, have you been to a Hallmark lately? They have all kinds of cards "to" and "from" the family pet for all sorts of occasions. Weird, truly weird.

Bob Levey: I'd laugh about the zoo's take on animal privacy if I weren't crying. How utterly, totally, obstructionistically idiotic. The poor animal was dead! There ain't no privacy to protect!
As for Hallmark, I'm not surprised. They think that every saccharine situation is cause for another line of cards. Next thing, they'll be selling condolence cards for those whose teams have gone out in the first round of the NBA playoffs.

Philly, Pa.: Uhh, Bob; as a new parent, I would have to modify your voicebox's words and tell them to "Put the infant in a rear-facing car seat right now....".

Also want to point out that many local police departments are always more than happy to check the car seats and show the owners how to properly install them. Best to take advantage of the free service.

Bob Levey: Amendment accepted. Thanks much

Kingstowne, Va.: Bob, 40 lashes with a wet noodle for you. Carolyn Hax frequently says that the best marital financial arrangement is a "yours-mine-ours," e.g., three accounts between the couple. My spouse and I have found this to be the best for us. I think sometimes you unknowingly slip into a Levey-centric worldview in which you automatically believe that what's best for the Leveys must, by fiat from on nigh, be best for everyone. Please realize that other people have different arrangements that work for them. That's what makes life interesting: different approaches to things and RESPECT for people who choose options other than those the Levey family chooses.

Bob Levey: You're missing the point, Kingstowne. I never argue that Bob's view of the world is the only view. I only argue that it's my view, and that it MIGHT work for others. That's what columnists do. They assert a position. At the same time, they recognize that there are many other ways to skin a cat. The idea is not to foreclose discussion. It's to extend it.
How in the world could I argue that one checking account will work for every single living soul? I didn't, and I don't.

Washington, D.C.: Bob,

Your article on cabbies Monday may have been off. I work across the street from the Washington Hilton and pass the cab lines every day. Most of these guys have heavy accents and appear to be foreign born. I suspect that in a lot of cases (not all) these cabbies do not know the city well enough to make the $60 in an hour.

Bob Levey: I don't like the tone of this. How does it follow that you don't know the city just because you're foreign-born? A small reminder: All of us come from families who were once new on these shores.
By the way, ignorance of Washington was a big problem among DC cabbies even when most of them had been born right here.

Helpless Help Desks: Bob, this might be a better question for Amy Joyce or another employee chat, but does the Post have a help desk (computer problems). Are they as helpless as mine seems to always be?

Bob Levey: Yes.
Not at all. I rely on the help desk all the time, for problems great and small. They're very, very good.

Vienna, Va.: What are your thoughts on the discovery that companies have legally been taking out life insurance policies on employees without the employees knowing?

I just may be the only one who is outraged. But I don't like the idea of someone taking an insurance policy out on me unless (1) I am notified and (2) I approve.

After what Enron did to it's employees when it locked their retirements into worthless Enron stock, I can just imagine corporate execs making a decision to stress-out the older employees so as to increase the probablity of strokes in order to cash in on some of the policies.

Bob Levey: I like the implication that employees are the essential guts of any company, and therefore have insurable worth. I hate the idea that a company can insure me without my knowledge.

Alexandria, Va.: About the guy fined by Metro - I've often been on trains and in stations where groups of teenagers have used very loud, very offensive language (and I don't offend very easily). But, no one ever says anything to them. Why?

Bob Levey: Usually because these obscenity-spewers are six-feet-three and 220 pounds. But it's not as if there's any mystery about their travel routes or travel times. Yo, Metro cops, when do high schools get out? Don't you think high school students are most likely to be rowdy as soon as they are "released from jail?" Don't you think it might be cool to shadow these kids when they board in packs at Tenleytown (Wilson H.S.), B-CC (Bethesda) and Eastern (Stadium-Armory)?
Funny, I never see a Metro cop anywhere near these stations on weekdays at 3 p.m.

Bowie, Md.: Robert the Thin,

Did your diet effect that beautiful orange tint your skin has in your Live onLine photo?

Bob Levey: Now it can be revealed.
That beautiful orange tint was caused by COOKIES!
Since I have foresworn them, my modeling career has dwindled to a trickle and I have had to give up lead roles in at least 15 first-run movies.
But, hey, I'll live long enough to be miserable for more years now.

Dearborn, Mich.: Bob, the tribute to Washington from the fellow living there really struck a chord with me. I am in the opposite situation: I grew up inside the Beltway, went to U-MD, and moved to SE Michigan five years ago to pursue a lifelong dream of working in the auto industry. For the last two years, I've lived in Ann Arbor, and when people ask me why, I tell them that it reminds me of Washington, just on a much smaller scale -- the arts scene, the park system, the diverse, intelligent population, etc. Even though I love the Ann Arbor community and enjoy my work, I still envy the fellow who is discovering the pleasures of life in our nation's capital.

Have a great vacation. I always enjoy reading your columns and will look forward to your return.

Bob Levey: Thanks so much, and take heart about Ann Arbor. It's a wonderful place (as long as you don't try to park too close to the Michigan campus). I was there just last spring, recruiting a new assistant. I hadn't been there in 30 years, and I was struck by many of the qualities you mention. It isn't drab, it isn't cookie-cutter, it has hills and dales, it has culture. I think you're on the right track when you call it a shadow of D.C.
Thanks, too, for the kind words about the column and the vacation.

Reston, Va.: "Selling condolence cards for those whose teams have gone out in the first round of the NBA playoffs"

Hmmm. That actually sounds like a workable business plan. Extend it to football, baseball, etc.

Bob Levey: Ohmigod!!!!!!!!!!
I've created a monster.
I can see it now:
"I know how your heart must be breaking/
About all those shots Allen Iverson was taking/
Perhaps next year, with any luck/
They'll all go in, and Kings will duck."
Hey, I never said I was a poet......

Alexandria, Va.: Bob, what is the deal with seemingly intelligent people who take leave of their sense's when it comes to using apostrophe's? I dont understand how, in just the past few year's, otherwise well-educated folk's have forgotten how to properly use the English language. Its driving me crazy! What is it's cause, and how can we remedy it?

Bob Levey: They never learned the basic principle.
An apostrophe takes the place of a missing letter.
When it ain't missing, no apostrophe.

Manassas, Va.: I hope you can give me some good advice. My husband and I got cell phones December a year ago. Ever since then, we have been plagued with problems. We have had billing problems, such as bills not coming, getting charged for calls and special features that we were not supposed to be charged for. We have made MANY attempts to deal with the customer service department(which includes VERY long waits on the phone, up to an hour or more!), but to no avail. They tell us a different story every time we call. They will say anything to just get us off the phone.

Is there anyone who can help us get this issue resolved?

By the way, after not sending us a bill in four months, they shut off our service for nonpayment! I am worried about this affecting our credit history, which, besides this mess, is perfect!

Bob Levey: The Federal Trade Commission runs a very good consumer watchdog office, which will a) actually answer the phone and b)actually do something about this, if in fact a federal issue is involved.
The FTC is not the cops, and it's not the Better Business Bureau. The FTC cannot rescue you from imbeciles who don't know how to count or add. But if there are interstate legal violations, for instance, they can and will step in.

Sigh: I was laid off from a downtown law firm last week and i'm having a hard time not beating myself up over this - searching for a new position was not something i was planning on doing. . .

Bob Levey: My heart really does go out to you. We are all just one tap on the shoulder from having this happen. I don't know about your family situation, but if you are the major ballcarrier for kids in college, a spouse who has gone back to school, an elderly and destitute parent, I can only imagine what you're going through.
I often wonder what I'd do if I were plunged into this position. I know I'd be way down in the dumps. But I'd let myself stay there for only a day or so. Then I'd treat the act of seeking a job as my job. I would go at it, bulldoggishly, until I found some thing new.
What I'm saying is that your emotions are perfectly understandable. Letting them paralyze you isn't.

The Sticks: Not having read the article about pet obituaries, I may be missing something, but if it makes the grieving owner feel better, what is the big deal? People do excessive things for their pets all the time. In the name of sensitivity, I think no more than a raise of the eyebrow is warranted.

Bob Levey: The big deal is that if your grandmother is the obit above Fluffy's, perhaps her family feels a little bit dissed.

Silver Spring, Md.: Re: kids and strangers. My parents had a codeword, that we were to use if either of them ever needed someone else to pick us up from school or otherwise take care of us temporarily if they couldn't. We were supposed to ask the neighbor or family friend "what's the password" and then if they knew it, we would know it was okay to go with them. The password would change every once in awhile, and was always a word or combination of words that would defy a pattern or common use.

If I can be half as good a parent as mine were, I'll be doing well!

Bob Levey: Excellent approach. Thanks

Franklin Square: Where are you going on holiday? Will you still be doing these chats? When you do them from a phone booth, does your producer read you the questions and have you answer them, whereby the producer then transcribes them? Does that mean you never see the transcripts on the web? Just curious from a techie POV. Thanks.

Bob Levey: Call me a geek, but......
I will spend my three-week vacation right here at this steaming computer. I'm not going anywhere. I will continue to do all possible "Levey Lives." And I will finish (once and for all) world's greatest novel. I will! I will!
The reason I hadn't finished it before now is that I haven't had a large lump of time in which I can concentrate on the book, and little (or nothing) else. Now, three weeks of time to spin sugar. Wish me well.

Speaking to strangers redux: Greetings,
For our three kids, we have the "Look for a Uniform" rule. In the absence of a uniform, any:
utility worker
librarian
teacher

I tell them to avoid lawyers, investment bankers and pimps.

Bob Levey: And, of course, columnists

Norman, Okla.:

In light of the recnt capture of the mad pipe bomber, I have a propasal to make to John Ashcroft.

In order to secure a safer nation for us all and to protect against terrorism, I submit that he should issue an order questioning all young white male students; just as he is doing with Arab-American students.

If any are guilty of minor violations, such as not paying a student loan back in time, we should lock them up indefinietly just as he is doing with some Arab-American students.

Finally, I submit that Bob Levey should be questioned extensively as to why he no longer talks about his kid's sports activities!

Bob Levey: Hard to tell if you're serious about any of this, but assuming you are......
For all his insistence that he isn't about to replicate the Japanese-American detention camps of World War Two, Ashcroft is bringing us mighty close to that. We now have a nation where Arab-Americans who were born here will be guilty till proven innocent. Ashcroft's response would be that Osama caused that. But why does he have to react to it in such a fundamentally unconstitutional way? Good intelligence and good police work will keep us safe, not racist roundups of everyone with dark skin.
As for my son, I'd be happy to tell you (or Ashcroft) all about him. But I'll spare you, for the best of reasons: His team is in the early rounds of the state soccer tournament. Ain't done nuthin' yet worth reporting. If and when, I'll be back to you.

Baltimore, Md.: I'm a northern Va. native now living in Baltimore because I can live here in a safe neighborhood three miles from work, within walking distance of my kid's excellent public school, in a house I bought three years ago for $135,000. The quality of life is great. So I was a bit surprised to read Marc Fisher's Baltimore-bashing yesterday. Didn't you think he was a bit out of line (if not downright hysterical)?

Bob Levey: Baltimore is one of my favorite cities on earth, and I felt that way long before the housing prices there were one-third of the prices here. I don't see why Balt and Wash have to compete. In fact, logically, the two cities should merge (and soon will merge) into one 40mile-long megalopolis, with one kind of history in Charm City and another here.
I would never criticize your decision to live where you live. Makes all the sense in the world.

RE: Your novel: As I recall, it's a story about "the struggle for the soul of a newspaper." Do you have an agent or publisher lined up yet?

Bob Levey: Yes.
No.
Great memory, by the way. Yes, it's about the struggle for the soul of a newspaper.
Yes, cynics, newspapers have such things

Washington, D.C.: Actually, Bob, Gavin DeBecker - noted safety expert - says you shouldn't tell your kids to find someone in uniform, cop or otherwise. The reason is that private security guards often look enough like cops that small kids can't tell them apart, and incredible numbers of criminals have worked as rent-a-cops. The companies are not known for their exhaustive background checks. If your kid is lost, she should look for a woman, preferably a woman with children. Women are more likely to stick with the kid until the parent turns up.

Far better for your kid to pick someone than for someone to pick your kid, you know?

Bob Levey: You're parsing this pretty fine if you want to coach a six-year-old on the difference between a rent-a-cop and a real cop. And even if a rent-a-cop is a former cirminal, why can't he have been rehabilitated? Why wouldn't he help a kid in need?

Arlington, Va.: For the person recently laid off from a downtown law firm: although I have not been in the position, I have spent the last thirteen years in a position where I feared and to some degree, hoped that would happen. I wanted to share that you have to hold on to the fact that it wasn't your fault but if you let it cripple you, it is. That is, you were skilled enough to be hired by a firm, you're good enough to be hired by another one and hey, it only takes one. Good luck.

Bob Levey: Excellently put. And to the law firm push-out victim, this additional point:
In today's climate, you no longer have to explain in excruciating detail why you've lost/left a job. Many hirers will assume it was an economic dismissal. Even if that isn't entirely or mostly true, it will provide some cover.

Washington, D.C.: Bob, you got creamed Tuesday in Sally Squires discussion. What's your take on it all? I kind of felt like, although the posters had some valid thoughts, they went about sharing their opinions in the most self-righteous and rude way possible.

Bob Levey: I'm a big boy. I can take it. Even though I weigh less.
I'm never afraid of gloves-off discussions. I'm never surprised to encounter rudeness. Sometimes it only seems rude, and it's actually an attempt at emphasis. I'd be worried more if Sally Squires had bashed me. But she didn't, and she wouldn't. Sally doesn't have a spiteful bone in her body.

Laurel, Md.: OK, Bob, you like Washington, Baltimore, Ann Arbor, New York, Chicago and Seattle, we've read in the last few weeks.

Fine... now tell us SOME CITY YOU HATE.

Bob Levey: Los Angeles. Huge, shapeless, nutty.
Athens. Dirty, noisy, nothing like what the ancients had in mind.
I don't hate St. Louis. But I'm hugely bored by it.

Philadelphia, Pa.: Maybe I'm just old (29) but I -do- remember times growing up in North NJ near -gasp- Newark and never really having to worry about asking a stranger for help for directions on how to get to the mall riding a bicycle along a busy street when I was all of 12 years old.

I do think parents need to worry, but being overprotective and sheltering kids just takes away from the real-world experiences they need to become well-rounded adults.

Bob, am I anywhere close to making sense? I have a 7 month old kid and me and my wife don't hover over him. We know he needs to take his falls and learn when life hurts but he will also learn that mommy and daddy will pick him up when he cries.

Bob Levey: Be there for that kid. But don't hover so closely that you blot out the sun.
As a parent of nearly 21 years standing, I can tell you that it's hugely rewarding when a kid makes a good decision on her own. When my daughter was caught in the insanity of Lower Manhattan on Sept. 11, she knew enough to get the heck out of that part of town, seek shelter, not budge until she was sure the coast was clear. Jane and I didn't have kids so we could pat each other on the back, but that day (and many days since), we have. Our kid didn't freak when the chips were down. She was cool, sensible, effective. I'm hoping for the same for your 7-month-old

Annandale, Va: Hi Bob,
Has this happened to you or someone you know?
Our long distance bill had an international call that we did not make. The long distance company said that their records show that the call came from our phone. We believe what happened was that while our cordless phone handset was separated from the base, someone outside the house using a similar handset was able to connect to our phone base and place this call. Do you know if this is happening a lot? Would switching to a spread spectrum phone stop this illegal access? By the way, the long distance company agreed to remove most but not all of the charge associated with this call. Any ideas or suggestions?

Bob Levey: My hunch is that your phone number was stolen electronically. These thieves are very, very good, and very advanced technologically.
By the way, if this is the first time, the long distance companies will usually write it off. You should ask them to--loudly and plaintively, if you haven't done that already.

Washington, D.C.: A fair number of known serial killer have also worked as security guards, as I recall. It's a small risk, but parents protect their kids from smaller ones every day. Fairly few women with children are serial killers.

Bob Levey: You mean a serial killer-cum-security guard will stand in a store all day, as thousands of potential victims walk past him. But when a kid seeks his help, then and only then will he molt into a crazed murderer?
Sorry, it's a huge longshot.

Newark, Del.: Related to your column today, a tip we tell our kids if they DO become separated from us (which, regardless of how good a parent is, can and does happen) -- find somebody with a name tag and ask them for help.

Always better to have a plan of action than to naively think that one's kid will never wander.

Bob Levey: Better still to warn, warn, warn the kid to stay where a parent can see him and touch him. It takes only a second for a kid to become very, very lost

Poet who know it: I wish you would continue and talk more of/
Of the Charm City team that has gone so soft/
Bring baseball to DC and you will find/
That we think taking the MARC train is a big old grind/
Patriots, Capitols, whatever the new name/
DC deserves a voice in America's game

Send all accolades in my direction...

Bob Levey: I believe Hallmark is hiring......

Re: Los Angeles: We Love It!

Come on, who's written a pop song about DC?

washingtonpost.com: There's a very catchy one by the Magnetic Fields, for one example. -- Megan.

Bob Levey: Hey, we have fake presidents on TV. All you have is surfers and beach bunnies

Washington, D.C.: So why not have pet obituaries, but keep them separate from the human ones? That way the family of a deceased human can avoid seeing Grandma's obit next to Fluffy's, but a pet owner who loves their pet and would be comforted by an obit can have one.
Speaking as someone who loves both my cat and other humans.

Bob Levey: This is clearly the compromise that's looming, especially when you consider that newspapers would be idiots to turn aside a revenue stream like the one that paid pet obits might provide.

Bob Levey: Thanks, gang, for a breezy, pithy hour. See you in a week.

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