Bob Levey (Barbara Tyroler)

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Levey Live: Speaking Freely
Washington Post Columnist
Friday, Feb. 8, 2002; 1 p.m. EST

"Levey Live: Speaking Freely," hosted by Washington Post columnist Bob Levey, appears every Friday. It is a live, open-agenda discussion offering washingtonpost.com users around the world the opportunity to ask questions and discuss topics of their choice with Bob.

Fearless Bob takes your questions about virtually everything, from sports and politics (there's a difference?) to world events, Metro area traffic and issues raised in Bob's columns.

The transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

Bob Levey: Hi, all. Hope all is well. It is on this end. I have actually finished writing my column du jour (I try to hack at least one every day--in the morning if I can). So I am feeling that wonderful feeling of having done my first and foremost duty. Let's move on to other duties--the next hour in the clickerie. Mouses (mice?) ready? Fingers ready? Here we go.... As always, recent columns and any other subjects under the sun are fair game.

12th Floor Metro Center: I work on top of the shops at National Place. Bob, they can't keep a store in that place for nothin'. The food court is just as bad.

This was going on way before Sept. 11, so do you have any idea of why stores come and go so quickly at this location? I would think it would be prime real estate.

Thanks, and happy weekend to you and the rest of the Levey clan!

Bob Levey: I happened into National Place yesterday for the first time in more than a year. I was astounded. It's Ghost Town USA. Dr. Levey says the death certificate is being prepared, and it will read: No direct and easy entry from the street, no "anchor" stores (say what you will, but big suburban malls depend on them for a good reason), and poor quality control (mine eyes beheld trash strewn every which way). So sad. National Place was a huge hit at first, and a source of great promise.

Bethesda, Md.: Hi Bob - I read your column today about off leash dogs. I have a very large dog (Rottweiler) and he is never off leash except in our fenced in back yard. My neighbors have two dogs and they seem to think it is fine for them to run about the neighborhood off leash. They have made it a practice to use our front lawn as a toilet. And before our yard was fenced, they used the back deck! How do I politely get them to stop this practice? The hints of "the lawn was just fertilized, so watch your dogs" don't seem to help.

Bob Levey: Start with "politely" and be prepared to graduate (whether that'd be upward or downward is up to you).
It's pretty simple, folks.
Just because you love a dog, you don't have the right to disregard the law and threaten others. As for waste product drops, hey, there's a law that covers that, too. It's popularly called: Thou Shalt Scoop The Poop.

20th & Pennsylvania Avenues, N.W., D.C.: Bob, went to dinner arriving at 10 pm on Saturday night in Adams Morgan, DC, the valet called in on his radio for our car at 11:50 p.m. The car arrived at the restaurant at 12:45 (FIFTY-FIVE MINUTES LATER). The restaurant offered me shots of liquor, but I had to drive. I was rather upset after spending over a hundred bucks for dinner with my wife, but then was held hostage for our car. Bad Bad Bad Perry's.

Bob Levey: Did they explain? Did they apologize? Didn't the restaurant send out a search party? Horrible.
But very believable when you consider what valet parking really means (in Adams Morgan and everywhere else).
It means: give us your car and let us park it illegally, wherever we can.
Did you know that if you get a parking ticket when your car is in the control of a valet parker, you're still responsible for it?
Did you know that the first you might hear of such a ticket is when it doubles and D.C. writes to tell you so?
Please don't think that a valet parker hops into your car and takes it to a nice, safe, fenced-off lot. Obviously, there are no such in Adams-Morgan (or anywhere else anywhere near downtown).
My latest with this: A valet parker at a well-known place on 19th Street NW. I came outside after dinner, ahnded the dude my claim check. He pointed to the corner. There was the Levey Station Wagon, parked in a No Parking Any Time spot about three inches from the corner. The dude didn't even apologize.

Winter Olympics?: I dunno, Bob, I just don't seem to have the interest in the Olympics as I have had in previous years. I've seen the Super Bowl pre-game, so I think the Opening Ceremonies will be exactly the same. I normally don't watch stuff like luge and figure skating, so I don't get excited because the event has five rings attached to it. Am I being unpatriotic here, Bob?

Bob Levey: I'm with you, bro (or is it sis?). I'm kinda pagaented-out. I'm also kinda 9/11-ed out. I don't really object to flying that tattered WTC flag in Utah tonight. But I won't be as stoirred by it as I have been on other occasions.

Re: Dog off the Leash: Any dog that is off leash in public has an IDIOT for an owner.

I have two Labs that compete in field tests and they are never, NEVER, off the leash in public. It's not that I don't trust the dogs, they do what they're told when they're told, I don't trust other people.

It is amazing that people let their dog run up to other people and then either laugh off the person's concerns about a loose dog or yell at them to leave it alone.

Come on people, show some brains. Be responsible to your animal.

Bob Levey: You make so much sense that I wish you were contagious (to the lamebrain dog owners out there). Thanks

Washington, D.C.: Bob,

Do you know of any portable horns for pedestrians? Or do I have to settle with carying an air horn from a basketball game with me.

A woman on her cellphone cut me off whilst crossing the street, she then proceded to honk at me.

I wish I could have honked back!

Bob Levey: Years ago, before road rage, I would have recommended a Trunk Slap. This is administered with the flat of one's hand, on the trunk of the offended car as it slinks away. Believe me, the message (and the sound) are hard to miss.
I can't recommend this tactic in 2002. People have been shot for less. But I will tell you that it feels awful %&$%% wonderful to give someone's trunk a "pop." Cathartic. Just aggressive enough. Not permanently harmful.

Beltsville, Md.: Ahhh.... you've highlighted exactly why I don't turn over the keys to my car.

If there isn't an adequate pay lot or street parking, and I can't access it by Metro, I need not go wherever "this" is.

My husband doesn't understand but I just don't feel like turning over my second most expensive investment to valets who don't care what happens to it.

Bob Levey: Exactly. Yet valet parking prospers because most valet parkers never stop to think about what happens to their precious wheels once they relinquish them.
Another twist to watch out for:
Very often, valet parkers work for a parking company, not for the restaurant. So if something goes wrong (damage to the car, tapes or CDs stolen), the restaurant can honestly say that it isn't their fault. Of course, they run the risk of losing a customer this way. But they wouldn't be the first to dare you to "take it to court."

Fairfax, Va.: Bob, I'm going to rant to you since Howard Kurtz isn't on today.

Someone needs to verbally slap Hank Steuver in response to his snarky article in today's Post online about the Olympics in Salt Lake being too "nice." It's the most trite set of East Coast putdowns about middle-American food, habits and religion I've seen in a long time. The last line is incredibly insulting to Christians (not just Mormons), as well.

Hank, it's not funny anymore. Didn't you get the memo that irony is dead?

Whew.
Thanks Bob.

Bob Levey: Let me present both sides, as even-handedly as I can.
Side One: Any piece in any newspaper that tries too hard, that's overwritten, that looks to offend, that looks to wound, is a piece that should have been spiked.
Side Two: The Style section plays by different rules. Maybe it shouldn't, but it was created so that it could. Therefore (so the logic goes) pieces like Hank's are within the birthright of the Style section. They are DESIGNED to "push the envelope." They are not bound by the usual rules of the 5 Ws or the inverted pyramid.
Please don't ask me which side I favor. I couldn't answer simply. I very much buy Side One. But I also believe that newspaper must constantly publish cutting-edge (maybe over-the-edge) writing. Otherwise they're taking a siesta. Yes, there's a limit. But it's in the eye of the beholder...

Trunk slap: I did that once. The guy whose trunk I slapped thought he'd run over me, so he stopped. In the middle of the intersection.

Bob Levey: And then what happened?

Northwest Washington, D.C.: Thanks for doing that piece on the leash law in DC that appeared in todays column.

I live on Capitol Hill where every home has the equivalent of two dogs. Most dog owners on the Hill are considerate and respect the law and their neighbors. But oh! the occasional few who let their dogs run down the street with no leash has bothered me for some time.

I worry about going home one night and opening my front door and having a loose dog follow me just as I open the door. I have housecats you see that greet me when I come home.

I haven't had any problems but it is nice to know that there is a law to protect me.

Bob Levey: If only the ink stains dried upon some lines (isn't that lyric from an old Glen Campbell song GREAT?) REALLY protected you. If a dog bit you, or sprang into your living room and trashed your $2,000 couch, you wouldn't be whole in a matetr of minutes. You'd have to sue, take time off work to tesify, etc. You'd probably win in the long run. But all the time you'd be thinking, "Man, justice is sure slow." You know what? Justice is.

Winter Olympics again: I'm a bro. By the way, I hear that the WTC flag won't be flying after all due to high winds. The flag will be brought in, unfurled, presented to the president, and then folded back up. So it will be a part of the ceremony, but the flag is deemed to fragile to fly tonight.

Bob Levey: Thanks for this update, bro. Hand't heard this. Does this mean that the WTC flag will never fly in actual atmosphere again, for fear of damaging it? If so, it ought to take up residence at the Smithsonian right away, I'd say.

Pittsburgh, Pa.: Bob, Something doesn't wash with this latest airplane incident (the Miami-Buenos Aires flight). The guy was banging and knocking on the cockpit door so finally the pilot opened it up. Who in the heck did he think it was? The Avon Lady?

Bob Levey: As I get it, the pilot did NOT open up. The miscreant yanked loose some of the door, thus creating a gap. The co-pilot swung the ax through this gap and brained the guy. The guy never got into the cockpit, and never could have, because the hole he had created was too small for a person (although not too small for an ax).

Rosslyn, Va.: Bob, regarding your "trunk slap" suggestion...while walking to work I saw a pedestrian do the trunk slap and the driver got out of the car in the middle of traffic and began shouting obscenities. It got ugly. Almost resulted in fisticuffs. But I guess you can always slap and run.

Bob Levey: Just my point. The slap ought to close the proceedings. All too often, it opens others.

Trunk slap, follow up: What hapened? I waved to show I was OK, and he moved out of the intersection. But it was rush hour, and traffic was blocked in all directions. Lotsa honkin'.

Bob Levey: Honkin' of dissent or assent?

Gaithersburg, Md.: A question / comment for Bob the all knowing;

I'm curious to your thoughts in regard to the accident last week on the Beltway where cell phone usage has been blamed. The person in the Explorer was allegedly on the phone when she crashed. Now everyone (media) is saying the cell phone caused the accident. If she was seen talking to a passenger right before she lost control, would that be a contributing factor? I've been hearing people say that even on hands free, talking on a cell phone is dangerous when driving. Why is that more dangerous then talking to your passenger, looking at the kids in the rear view, picking up a drink out of the many drink holders cars now have, smoking.....
I agree that using a hands free device should be mandatory for cell phone usage, but just because someone was on the phone when they had an accident doesn't necessarily mean that was the cause of the accident.

Bob Levey: You're bending over backwards to avoid seeing the obvious. If she hadn't been on the cell phone, the odds shoot way, way up that she'd have been able to control the vehicle better. I'm all for hands-free phones only in moving vehicles. Any four-year-old could see why. Can't the rest of us?

Washington, D.C.: What is your take on women taking infants to concerts? This week I went to a concert at The State Theater and in saunders a woman with a two-week-old baby. Granted, it is a non-smoking venue, but I would think that parents would be smart enough to know that if the music hurts my ears, what do you think it does to your two-week-old. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time I have seen this in the D.C. area and I am sure it won't be the last. I am just sickened by parents that do this, but it doesn't seem to bother many others. What is your take on this?

Bob Levey: Please see my column (it runs in a few days) about babes-in-arms being brought to the movies. Hint: I'm agin it.

Washington, D.C.: As a former Utah resident, let me just say that Hank Steuver seemed to catch the tone of Salt Lake City quite well. The people there really are almost oppressively nice.

And there's a great used bookstore, Sam Weller's, on Main Street.

Bob Levey: How in the world can you be oppressively nice? And which is more oppressive--niceness or relentless cynicism?

More satisfying than a personal horn: Recently in Cleveland Park, I spilled an enormous Coke all over the passenger side of a car that nearly ran over me in the crosswalk. Mr.-New-Mercedes-From-Virginia was -that- close to my arm .... I guess I was so startled, the drink just tipped over. Oops.

Bob Levey: Gosh. What a terrible accident!!!!!
Again, this sounds like the beginning of the tale, not the end. Did Mr. Mercedes leap out and demand that you wipe up the soda? Lick it up? Did he serve you with a subpoena?

DVORAK vs. QWERTY: Bobster --

According to your column and these here online chat sessions, I know that you're a speedy typist (using the single finger method).

My question is this: do you use the standard QWERTY keyboard layout or the user-friendlier DVORAK layout?

Just as a background, the QWERTY layout was designed so that the most common letter combinations wouldn't be 'keyable' quickly so as to avoid the keys jamming when typing. The DVORAK layout was designed by August DVORAK and is the keyboard used by the Guinness World Record holders in typing as it allows users to type much faster.

Just wonderin'.

Bob Levey: qwerty forever

Suncoast: Bob, thanks for your story regarding off-leash dogs. I agree wholeheartedly. Those who don't leash their dogs not only are doing other humans a disservice, but they're doing a huge disservice to the dogs. Even the most well-behaved dog could see a squirrel, dart into the street to chase after it, and get hit by a car. Love your dog? Then protect it.

Bob Levey: Amen. And for all who were in Bob Levey's situation (being sniffed by a strange dog who wasn't on a leash, and whose owner was nowhere to be seen), I pass along a tip from a reader, which I got this morning via e-mail:
Don't do what I did.
Don't try to nudge the dog away from your shin with said shin.
Turn away. Ignore the dog. Above all, don't make eye contact with him.

Trunk slap, follow up to the follow up: The honkin was accompanied by lotsa single-digit salutes, so I assume the drivers didn't like the traffic being blocked.

Bob Levey: Honestly, how stupid are people? If they flash the single-digit salute at a stranger, what is sure to happen? Right.
Single-digit retorts.
How does this make the world a better place? It reeks of New Yorker Cartoon-ism..... an entire city giving itself the bird.

Beltsville, Md.: Well, I have to say I'm surprised. I really didn't think Chandra would be "missing" this long. I mean, certainly the media has been forced to deal with other issues since her disappearance, but it's almost been a year now.

Thoughts?

Bob Levey: No thoughts that haven't been aired a million times. I've assumed she's dead since about Day Three.

Re: Axes in the cockpit?: Um, why an ax in the cockpit? Firewood for heat? Hard cheeses? Tight bottlecaps?

Bob Levey: The original logic was to help in case there's a fire in the cockpit. Now, the logic has been, shall we say, extended.....

Beltsville, Md.: So what are we to make of Pearl's kidnappers?

Bob Levey: Irrationals. But kidnappers always are

Silver Spring, Md.: Howdy Bob --

Did you see that story on the front page of Metro today about how Gov. Parris Glendening is spending OUR tax dollars to have the former first lady (the one he dumped for his six-figure-salary aide) to change the greeting cards that go to new moms urging them to get their kids immunized? What an outrage! Like some new mother with a screaming kid in her arms is going to look at the card and say, "Waitaminute -- I think this card has been signed by the OLD first lady"! How much is this little "correction" going to cost us, Bob? I smell a righteously indignant Levey column waiting to be written! Can we consider you on the case?

Bob Levey: I'm on it, but so are those who read the political winds more carefully and more regularly. Fearless prediction: Glendening will find $100,000 and pay the tab himself. Of course, if that's so clearly the right thing to do, why didn't he do that in the first place?

Alexandria, Va.: Since you asked, I'd rather deal with oppressive cynicism than saccharine niceness any day.

Bob Levey: Amennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Bloomington, Ind.: Hi Bob:

In re: name mis-spelling.

My name is Kavanagh, often spelled, or in my case misspelled, with an initial "C" and an additional "u."

I once ordered something over the phone, and when the sales person respelled my name the wrong way, I replied, "that's 'K,' and no 'u'."

When the package arrived, it was addressed to "Mr. Kannou."

Bob Levey: Levey's First Law:
Give a moron a chance to be an even worse moron, and he/she will leap at the opportunity, like a moth to a flame.

Misspelled names: Bob, I'm curious about the man in this morning's column whose name is perpetually misspelled. As a Karla -- not a Carla, not a Kari, and absolutely NOT a Carly -- I can empathize. (I'm thinking of having my name legally changed to KarlawithaK.)

But I have to ask: how does he pronounce his last name, Keilson? Is it KEEL-son or KYLE-son? His name looks German, and in German, the second vowel is the one that's pronounced. Therefore, if he goes by KEEL-son, I can certainly see why one would assume it's spelled "ie." However, if he says KYLE-son, I would put the "i" second.

Of course, I've seen people misspelling my name right in front of me as I'm spelling it out for them, so it's probably a lost cause for your friend Jerrold. I recommend he start going by "Bob."

Bob Levey: Dunno. I'm guessing KEEL-son. But I'm 50-50 to be wrong.

Dogs Without Leash: I am a petite female (5'1-95 lbs.)and have also been scared by big dogs without leash many times while the owners were only a few feet away. It's like a nightmare every time but I never knew what to do except standing still and holding my breath and wait for the owners to take them away. What should I do next time? Should I scream (to embarass the owner)?

Bob Levey: Depends on how close the owner is. To be fair, many owners who let their dogs run without a leash are very careful to be RIGHT THERE if Fido begins to sniff out a human leg (or other body part).

Washington, D.C.: Are you a big Olympics fan? Will you be watching the events from SLC? Which sport is your favorite?

Bob Levey: I fell out of love with winter sports the one time I went ice skating (at age about 10) and my ankles hurt for the next week. I've never skied. I've never bobsledded. Guess you can figure what's coming next:
I'm not a big Winter Olympics fan. I'd be more of one if I didn't have to suffer through those mini-profiles on the courageous American athletes. Bet your boots: They'll be all over ABC for the next three weeks.

Dupont Circle: Bob,

I walk through Dupont every day on my way to and from work. EVERY DAY I see many cars run lights while I clearly have a walk sign. It's become the pedestrian's responsibility to not only wait for the walk sign, but look out for cars that are NOT driving responsibly. I have seen numerous people narrowly avoid being hit; I have a friend who actually -was- hit, and the driver sped off! The police did next to nothing about it, despite having several witnesses and a tag number.

It makes me very angry. Is it going to take someone dying in the circle before something is being done? What can we do to help? Should I call the police non-emergency number? Something has to happen or more people will be seriously injured.

Bob Levey: One approach that might work faster (although not necessarily better): Get in touch with the Advisory Neighborhood Commissioner for Dupont Circle. The main District Government operator can tell you who this is. This is a very local, elected neighborhood representative who will know what you're talking about and be in a good position to get something done. If you call the mayor and/or the polcie chief, your point is likely to be lost in the sauce with thousands of other complaints.

Silver Spring, Md.: Bob, you really should not be encouraging pedestrians to hit cars. I once saw a guy in a car stuck in the intersection. All the pedestrians walked around except one woman. She hit his car with her palm. He got out and smacked the you know what out of her then got in the car and drove away! She may have gotten his license number and there could have been some type of litigation but I can tell you the way he smacked her I would rather get hit by the car.

Bob Levey: Please note: I said I would no longer recommend this, for precisely the reason you mention. I don't want my dentures rearranged by some yahoo, either.

Lexington Park, Md.: Bob, speaking of the Olympics, could DirecTV or maybe a cable system or somebody buy the rights to at least some of the sports? I would pay the extra money for an Olympic package (just like there is for NCAA hoops and hockey and such) just so that I don't have to watch the human interest stories. I wanna see the games, not how somebody overcame something with the help of someone. Are the Olympics quickly being skewed toward female audiences?

Bob Levey: No, toward young audiences, who are used to bite-sized Oprah-ized and Springer-ized "stories."

Beltsville, Md.: What do you think about a Barry comeback?

And, because I know they are out there, why would people vote for this guy?

Bob Levey: I'm aghast that Barry would contemplate it.
First, why would he want to serve on the Council. How could he shine (and that's what he'd want to do) if he were one of 13? Second, who would give him money to run? Third, why can't he find some other way to be in the limelight again if he misses it so badly? Fourth, how much damage to Washington, D.C., is this guy intent on doing? I am STILL getting on planes, telling my seatmate I'm from Washington, and listening to a snickering question about how Marion Barry and his crack pipe are doing...

Somewhere, USA: Hi Bob,

I certainly was surprised that Rep. Bob Ehrlich (R-MD) appeared Tues. on "LiveOnLine" He is a regular on Conservative talk radio shows around Baltimore, especially WBAL, where he weekly rants against "Liberal Democrats" (meaning all Dems). Moreover, Mr. Ehrlich constantly takes pot shots at THE POST and THE SUN for their "liberalism." Why won't this politician just say he is interested in running for governor against that "liberal" Lt. Gov. Townsend Kennedy?

Bob Levey: Ehrlich has a right to rant however he likes. I hope you're not criticizing me for having him on. Usually, I'm criticized by conservatives who claim that I only invite liberals (demonstrably untrue, both in the recent past and across all five years of "Levey Live").
As for why he won't announce, I assume it's the usual reason: not enough coin in the bank yet.

Alexandria, Va.: Bob, My name is Mary and people ask me to spell it. Really.

Bob Levey: I kind of cancel myself out.
No one has ever asked me to spell Bob.
Almost no one has ever FAILED to ask me how to spell Levey.

More Olympics: You mean NBC, not ABC...the Olympics are on NBC (and CNBC and MSNBC).

Bob Levey: Sorry. You can see how much attention I've been paying. Thanks

Wheaton, Md.: Bob, I've noticed you make some passing references over time to your dislike of Oprah Winfrey. What is the cause of this dislike? Granted, her trash-TV background is nothing to venerate, but she has done wonders lately for getting people to read books again (a cause you must certainly endorse), and has dedicated her show in other ways to helping people help themselves. We know you too well to suggest any sexist or racist overtones. So what gives?

Bob Levey: She is the leader of the movement (found on any TV set,any day) to juice every discussion with emotions--both real and fake.
I'm not saying that emotions don't have their place. But when we want to discuss a serious subject (child abuse, let's say), can't we discuss it calmly and circumspectly? In Oprah-land, the first we'll see will be babies with black eyes, babies who are blind from having been shaken, women who were raped as children and now can't handle marriage.
Oprah-ization makes shock value and TV value paramount. It never quite gets all the way down the track to a reasoned discussion.
As for Oprah inducing people to read again, please don't make me ill. The books she plugs suffer from the same over-emotionalization as her show itself.
"Bridges of Madison County" is a perfect example. What a bunch of gooey hooey! Yet Oprah held forth about this book as if she talking about freakin' Hamlet!

East of the Anacostia River: Mr. Levey, the Good Lord knows brother Barry has made his mistakes. When will you folks give it a rest already? If it weren't for the work brother Barry did in the 1960s, for example, DC wouldn't even have a mayor or a city council. Why can't you love the sinner? We're all imperfect, you included.

Bob Levey: Your grasp of history is astonishingly imperfect. Washington has a mayor and council because Lyndon Johnson asked the Hill for it, and the Hill said OK. Barry had not one speck of anything to do with it.
As for giving it a rest, wouldn't that be good advice for Marion himself?

Beltsville, Md.: Plus, if Ehrlich runs, he can't run for Congress at the same time, right? So why give up a good Congressional seat to lose to a Kennedy?

Bob Levey: Well argued. But if we can raise enough dough, he might find that his poll numbers will climb. Townsend is no sure thing.

Fairfax, Va.: Bob: you're pretty good about seeing both sides of an issue even when you firmly support only one. Maybe you can help me out with an issue in Richmond. A bill is making its way through that would have the schools put the National Motto "In God We Trust" on display. Of course, opponents of the bill are shouting seperation of church and state. That's the issue I don't understand. The motto is probably in your pocket (or purse for the ladies) right now on any money you're carrying, and it is prominately displayed in the chamber of the US House of Representatives.

Now, if the motto passes the First Amendment seperation bar for our currency and one of the chambers of our legislature, why couldn't it pass it for the public schools? I guess I just don't understand that particular arguement.

Bob Levey: My take on this: We should always evaluate whether a slogan or a wall hanging or a start-the-day prayer is coercive. If it is, violation of church and state. If it isn't, it adds to a child's sophistication and education, and is therefore well within bounds

Perfect Fit Last Names: Bob, are you still looking for more PFLNs? I have two - the first, on a sign displayed on a building near my old apartment on Conn. Ave. in Woodley Park:

Dr. Alan Korn
Podiatrist

And then, one from years ago - my high school driver's ed teacher at Holmdel High in central NJ was named, and I kid you not: Mr. Wreckage. Spelled exactly like that. I forget his first name, though, or maybe I never knew it, since his last name was such a great fit!

Bob Levey: Did Korn years ago. Thanks just the same. As for Wreckage, wow! You got a first name? Or a clue as to how I might find one? That's an all-time great!

Washington, D.C.: Springer-ized Olympic stories would at least be entertaining: The bobsled team captain would discover that his girlfriend slept with the captain of the luge team, and then it would be revealed that the luge captain was in fact a woman, and then there'd be a huge fight and the hockey team would have to break it up. I'd tune in to watch THAT before ice skating.

Bob Levey: Well, maybe you have a point. But I'd have to look at all those tattoos on all the bobsledder's 300-pound former lovers, which wouldn't be too pleasant.

Trunk Slap, USA: In this day of road-, cell phone-, pedestrian-, Airplane-, bicycle-, etc. -rage I want to share an experience I had with trunk slapping. About two years ago while crossing at an intersection in DC with the crosswalk light in my favor, a motorist blasted through a redlight nearly striking me. As any well thought out plan, I slapped the back of the car as it went by. The motorist proceeded to go around the block, stop her car, exit said car, verbally threaten me, and physically shove me. The motorist indicated the light was barely red and she was in a hurry. However she still had time to stop and harrass me. I slap no more.

Bob Levey: No question that discretion is the better part of valor

Metro Commuter: Bob, have you witnessed the rise of the abominable bags on wheels that are becoming so commonplace on Metro?

I can see the small overnight suitcases, or even, maybe, a laptop on wheels - but a backpack? If you really don't have that much to bring with you, why can't you carry the bag?

It wouldn't be so bad if these people realized what a problem they were on crowded trains and on elevators.

I suppose it's impossible to get them banned, but some reminders of courtesy would make the rush hour much smoother for those of us that carry our stuff.

Thanks!

Bob Levey: I'm not as exercised about this as you--until one of them runs over my foot. Then...... fury! vengeance! I might even give the guy a trunk slap.

Metro Red Line: Yesterday, during the delay on the Red Line, our conductor was terrific. The train was full, and he patiently tried to explain to people waiting to board that there were two empty trains waiting right behind him. No one believed him and they kept trying to crush aboard. So, he assured them that the first train was just outside Union Station. After a while, people finally gave up. Kudos to the conductor, but a big set of boo's for his colleagues that made us so skeptical of the promise of "another train behind this one." I, for one, have gotten used to hearing this lie. Technically, it's not a lie--there is another train coming. What is deceiving here is that the train could be five miles away and still be "behind" this one. Plus, it could be one of the Red Line Trains that only goes part way out. I think we would all fare a little better if they provided more information, like yesterday's conductor. It sure would make his job easier.

Bob Levey: I've heard drivers draw a distinction between "rthere's a train behind this one" and "there's a train RIGHT behind this one."
A little basic knowledge might help here. Folks, if it's the Red Line, and it's rush hour, the "headway" between trains is about 2 minutes and 30 seconds. So the driver isn't kidding when he says another train looms, imminently.
Change the color of the line and you're talking about headways of between 4 and 6 minutes. Change away from rush hour, and you're talking about even longer.

Oprah books: Ohhh, don't go there, Bob. Oprah has recommended a lot of important books and authors, like Toni Morrison.

Just because a book happens to appeal mostly to a female audience doesn't mean it can't be good literature. Not that I'm saying you would think such a thing, but there are plenty of ivory-tower, Canon-loving types who do.

Bob Levey: True about Morrison. But oh, the junk that Oprah has put her show and her reputation behind. Hey, I read serious authors, my friend. I don't see why I have to find drippingly stupid fiction worthy just because Oprah thinks it is

Laurel, Md.: Finally, the Wizards are making me stand up and take notice. A 26-21 record at the All-Star break. A five-game winning streak. A win against one of the best teams in the NBA (the Sacramento Kings last night). If Jordan can take the pounding of stretch run basketball, I think the Wizards will be able to go far in the playoffs. Remember, Jordan has a streak of taking teams to the NBA finals in his last 6 full seasons of basketball.

Bob Levey: I have got to say that I turned on last night's game in the middle of the third quarter and watched the Wizards BURN RUBBER for the next six minutes. What a wonderful run! And against a team that I'm picking to win the West. I still don't think this team has what it takes (on the bench) to go deep into the playoffs. But life is sure interesting on Seventh Street.

Suitland, Md.: I'm looking for a good book to read. Any suggestions?

Bob Levey: I'm deep into the latest Carl Hiaasen. Funny, as his always are.

Silver Spring, Md.: Does Chief Ramsey respond to mail received from private citizens?

I sent him a letter weeks ago about ticket scalpers outside MCI Center. There is a clear sign that says the resale of tickets on DC public streets is illegal, there are tons of cops for every MCI Center event, and yet you have to walk through a large of intimidating, burly men offering to buy and/or sell tickets just to get from the top of the Metro to the front door.

I would've appreciated some sort of response, even if it was a blow-off "we'll look into it."

Bob Levey: He has told me, right here on "Levey Live," that he answers all his mail. Maybe this is one of those niceties that have started to give now that the chief has been on the job for four years

Good Answer On Oprah!: But I must quibble with your last line: All agreed that most of her books are histrionic "hooey gooey." But the same could be said of the cliche-ridden, overwrought gibberish put on paper by some of your favorite writers, such as David Baldacci and Pat Conroy. Neither is much of a prose stylist.

Bob Levey: Never claimed that Baldacci was a favorite. As for Conroy, he passes the first test of any serious writer: He can create characters in three dimensions, not two, and he knows his terrain. I have never read better descriptions of the south. Seriously. Yes, maybe Conroy reaches for too much drama and too much blood at times. But he is a writer, not a hack who's looking for a screenplay deal.

Re: Oprah: Bob - you're talking like a "Book Snob"

Bob Levey: I've done my share of airport cheapies. But I always come back to the more serious stuff. Not becasue I'm a snob. Because I admire craft. See previous answer. There's all the difference in the world between a best-selling author and an author.

DC Re: MIA Valet: I am amazed and dumbfounded - the restaurant offered a man who was going to be driving (hence using the valet) "shots of alcohol" while he waited for his car. How stupid are these people. I can't remember if this guy gave the name of the restaurant, but if not, please write back so I can make sure NEVER to eat a place with that mentality. I mean it's not like DUI isn't enough of a problem we have to have restaurants encourage it!!!

Bob Levey: If it had been me, I would have insisted on comfort food--pretzels and calamari

Gaithersburg, Md.: Hi Bob,

I agree with you about Oprah and her books. I've read about a third of them, and find that all of the female protagonists are the same. By the time the books end, the characters have done NOTHING to improve their miserable situations. I find it very depressing.

Bob Levey: My feeling exactly.

Alexandria, Va.: You said, "Hey, I read serious authors, my friend. I don't see why I have to find drippingly stupid fiction worthy just because Oprah thinks it is." Since when is Pat Conroy Franz Kafka? Since when is David Baldacci Fyodor Dostoyevsky? If you think Baldacci and Conroy are "serious authors," you've been spending too much time buying remainders, and not enough time at the library.

Bob Levey: Who said my shopping list stops at Conroy? He is one course among many. In the last year, I've read Ward Just, Faulkner, Bellow, Roth, many, many others of that ilk

Washington, D.C.: Alright, I worked as a car valet in college and people were HORRIBLE to me.

When I worked we drove the cars to garages and parked them there. We ran to get cars through rain and 100 degree heat.

People responded by throwing (THROWING) quarters at us. They also used make nasty comments (I am a women) about how the "girl" shouldn't be able to drive my car because it was a stick.

I busted my --- to get people's cars and tried really hard to make sure nothing happened to them and never got any respect.

Yes, sometimes bad things happen to people's car but a lot of people are just trying to do their jobs.

The stereotype suck. Just like I could say all people who own cars over 30,000 are cheap jerks.

Bob Levey: From the other side. Thanks

Bob Levey: No more tiem, gang, alas. Thanks for joining us. We'll do it again exactly 167 hours from now.

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