After we round them up, lock them in undisclosed locations, prevent them from talking with lawyers (they may pass secret codes), and subject them to secret tribunals, I think we'll all sleep more comfortably at night.

The thing is, I can't find any mention of these financial terrorists anywhere in the Homeland Security plan. Can you help? What agency is responsible?

Andrew Marlatt: Well, as you may have seen in the new SatireWire story REMAINING U.S. CEOs MAKE A BREAK FOR IT I'm afraid it's already too late. The CEOs have already headed for Mexico.

Ann Arbor, Mich.: I really love the book and your Web site. Are there any plans for another book? Or your humor appearing in another media?

Andrew Marlatt: Thanks. Another book really depends, I suppose, on how well this one does. "Economy of Errors" has only been out two weeks, and I've tried not to ask my editor how it's doing, for fear that she will actually tell me. But if you'd be so kind as to go out and buy, say, 30,000 copies, I'm pretty sure Random House would call in a second strike.

Hartford, Conn.: Can't those Enron executives be forced to change their stock profits into Argentine pesos?

Andrew Marlatt: I don't think there are that many Argentine pesos.

Virginia: Which was harder? Writing the book or getting it published?

Remember GM's NOVA campaign in Mexico? A joke.

Andrew Marlatt: Writing it. Wait, no, coming up with the idea. When I first got contacted by literary agents, about six months after SatireWire launched in Dec. of '99, they said I should write a book. I agreed and was totally into it, until my agent, Daniel, pointed out that he couldn't sell it to a publishing house until I had some idea of what the book would be. It took about half a year to figure out what to do, but I finally hit on doing a series of faux business magazines, one for each year from 1994-2002, that reported on business and technology, from the dotcom launch to the nosedive to whatever it is we have today.
Since I had a site already, and an audience, and publishers could see some of the work I had done already. My agent sold the book in about three days.
Writing the book while doing the site was difficult, but I found it wasn't so bad if I ignored my wife and children.

Fairfax, Va.: When did you start Satire Wire and do you maintain the page full time? Do you have a staff of reporters as well?

Find it enlightening!

Andrew Marlatt: I started the site in Dec. of '99, and yes, it's full time. But it's just me. There's a fictional staff of two, who make most of the errors you'll find, and write the less amusing stories.

Virginia: You've written for numerous publications and your site was a Webby finalist. How do you identify yourself? If you identify yourself as a journalist, do you think you are breaking down the b.s. of media talk and getting right to the heart of the issues?

Also, will Satirewire.com be submitted again for the Webbies?

Andrew Marlatt: That's a good question. I started out writing for newspapers in Georgia and Connecticut (not simultaneously), then freelanced for a number of years, but I gave up the sobriquet "journalist" when I started just making up news.
Yes, that is a setup line, but it's too easy, so I'll let it pass.
For a time I did say I was a satirist, but I stopped when a friend of my mother's asked if I sang songs and played the piano. (Think Mark Russell.) I usually just say humorist. That pretty much causes people to say "Oh," and leave me alone.
As for the Webbies, well, the site was nominated last year and this, but it's difficult to overcome The Onion, a very talented bunch.

Harrisburg, Pa.: President Bush claims that he reads Touqueville and Adam Smith. Should I be glad that he is trying to become an intellectual, or concerned that he is relying on 18th and 19th century intellectuals to find solutions to 21st century problems?

Andrew Marlatt: Perhaps you misunderstood. I believe the President said he had "been" to tokeville, not read him.

Herndon, Va.: Your site reminds me of Comedy Central's "Daily News Update" (can't remember exact title) with Jon Stewart. Have you heard this comparison before? Any thoughts on the similarities? Have they asked you to write for the show?

Andrew Marlatt: Well, that's a flattering comparison, thanks. No, they haven't asked me to write for them. The folks at NakedNews.com (where reporters strip as they read the news) did ask to read SatireWire stories during their reports, but I somehow felt the humor would get lost.
I try not to "be" like anybody, but the fact is writing news-based comedy is a popular approach, so comparisons are inevitable. If it has to happen, it's nice to at least be compared to someone else who's good.

Washington, D.C.: I haven't read your book but I'm wondering when you did your research, were the stories that you found true and actually published in business magazines and newspapers?

Andrew Marlatt: The book is satire, a collection of maybe 500 or so stories (most with lovely artwork included) of things that really happened, like when AT&T decided to cut its workforce by 120 percent, or when K-Mart decided to give refunds to shoplifters. I'm sure you remember that.
OK, so no, the stories aren't true, but almost all of them are based off things that really happened.

Maryland: So, what now after writing your book? Any other projects? Maybe writing for Hollywood? They need funny people out there.

Andrew Marlatt: Actually, for the time being, I'm enjoying not writing a book. It's a tremendous amount of work doing it and the site, where people expect a new piece every day. It's a lot like getting pregnant for the second time, I suppose, in that you tend to forget how god-awful difficult it was the first time. But I'd love to do another book.

Alexandria, Va.: So as a humorist or satirist (whatever you call yourself), do you not associate yourself as a journalist because you write fictional stories? Where's the responsibility or finding the truth to business values?

Andrew Marlatt: I'm not a journalist because I don't carry the burden of actually attempting to report the truth. My main responsibility, I think, is to make people laugh, or, barring that, at least cause them to waste company time by reading the Web site.

Annapolis, Md.: President Bush spoke for many business leaders when he said:

"This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end."--Washington, D.C., April 10, 2001

Andrew Marlatt: I love that guy. Honestly, I can't imagine why he wasn't a successful businessman.

Arlington, Va.: What do you think the most common business myths are?

Andrew Marlatt: That earnings have anything to do with how a company is doing. I think it would be better if the Supreme Court ruled that corporate revenues were "art," in that it's creating something from nothing. Save a lot of litigation.

Andrew Marlatt: Well, thanks very much for asking the questions. If you want to learn more about "Economy of Errors," you can click here. Take care.
Andrew

Washington, D.C.: What do you think about the case and problems with Enron and Andersen? Also, do you think that Congress passing an accounting regulation law for big corporations will amount to much?

Andrew Marlatt: Everybody on the street level bought into the bubble years of the New Economy, including me -- in my tech journalist days, I used to regularly interview docom CEOs and genuinely believed they had great business models. I just knew Fish-in-a-bucket.com was going to be the next General Motors. So I find it kind of odd that folks are surprised that Enron and Andersen got carried away too. They're run by people, after all.

As a non-piano-playing satirist/humorist, of course, I'm not even angry with them. More like thankful, really.

As for the efficacy of accounting regs, I won't pretend to be an expert there. Remember, I have only a modicum of knowledge on any given subject, I make stuff up for a living, and generally don't know what I'm talking about. So I'm really not much better than a stock analyst.

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