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Kornheiser	Wilbon
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With Tony Kornheiser
and Michael Wilbon
Washington Post Columnists
Monday, Nov. 26, 2001; 1:30 p.m. ET

Searching for answers? Then The Chat House is the place for you.

Here is a transcript of today's show:

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

washingtonpost.com: Hi everyone. We'll be getting started shortly.

washingtonpost.com: Hi everyone. We'll be getting started shortly.

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: Good afternoon and welcome back to The Chat House. We hope you had a good Thanksgiving. Thankfully my Mom made dinner for my family b/c cooking is not one of my fortes. Tony is here and Mike is on his way back from Philly. Mike will probably be joining us via cell phone until he arrives in the flesh. I'll keep you posted. Actually, Tony is still in his dressing room here at the headquarters of PTI. Hmmm... Stand by.--Mary

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: Okay. They have both arrived here in The Chat House... in person. --Mary

What's happening? Happy Post-T-giving. I seem to have gained (and this is a true story) 4 lbs. since Wednesday. So, I've got some dieting to do. It starts now. --Mike

The average person gains 6 lbs during the holiday season. Oink. --Mary

Yeah, but you're talking about from T-giving through New Year's right? --Mike

Yeah. --Mike

I'm talking about T-giving alone. If I do this X-mas and New Year's I'll be plus 12. --Mike

What did you do eat the whole freakin' turkey by yourself? --Mary

No. I ate lots of good food Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. But I walked 3 miles on Friday. You would think that would have done something. And I had full workouts on Saturday and Monday morning. Woo.--Mike

It's water weight. You're bloated. --Mary

Silver Spring: Man, its now been something like 58 straight weeks of the Chat House without one question on Formula 1, Australian Rules Football, or the UEFA Cup. And you guys call yourselves sports fans. Instead of asking you whether Michael Schumacher can three-peat with Ferrari next year, thereby ensuring that Mary hits the delete key, I'll try to keep it local and avoid being one of the 680 Redskin-related submissions. Now that Oklahoma lost and UCLA is in the doldrums, Will E.J. Henderson win the Butkus award in two weeks? Calmus' chances certainly had to be hurt by the embarrasing loss Saturday.

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: It's an individual award so it should have nothing to do w/UCLA's record or Oklahoma's record. But EJ Henderson may be the front-runner. And I'm proud to announce it is now 59 straight weeks w/out one question on Formula One, Australian Rules Football or the UEFA Cup. --Mike

Who cares. How are we supposed to know who is going to win a Butkus award? Come on. Enough.--Tony

McLean, Va.: Mr. Kornheiser,

My name is Greg Munoz. I graduated from Binghamton in 1992. We met at your daughter's graduation from Maret last year. With North Carolina losing two games already this year, do you think Binghamton has any chance of keeping it close? What do you think of the big guy from Alaska? Any talent? I'm heading down to Chapel Hill for the game on the 16th. I have an extra ticket if you want to join us.

Sincerely,

Greg

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: Hi Greg. Binghamton has ZERO chance of winning that game. ZERO. The Alaskan kid was in the game against GW for 5 minutes and picked up 3 or 4 fouls. So, I have no idea what he looks like. He barely played. NC, having lost twice at home already, will beat Bimghamton (sadly) by 41 pts. But I felt great getting to watch them play. You can scalp the ticket to a Carolinian. --Tony

Logan Circle, Washington, D.C.: How annoying a human being is Brian Billick?

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: Boy did you throw this in Tony's wheelhouse. I'm going to walk away now and let Barry take this one deep. --Mike

BRIAN BILLICK IS THE SINGLE MOST ANNOYING PERSON IN SPORTS TODAY. HE IS A SMUG, KNOW-IT-ALL, A PREENING SCHMOE, SOMEONE FOR WHOM THE WORD "COMEUPPANCE" was invented. After the game yesterday when he lectured the press and by extension the entire world, when he said "Owner own, players play, coaches coach and writers write," what about these 2 books this nimrod wrote since winning the Super Bowl. He's a great coach and I would love to see somebody put a pie right in HIS FAT FACE. --Tony

I like Billick. I think he's cool. Laughter... I'm going to invite him to lunch next week. --Mike

Philly, PA: For the #1 team in the NFC East, the Eagles looked like Tony's hair when he's in the shower: they went down the drain.

What happened? Were the Eagles cocky or are the 'Skins really that good?

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: Ugh. Do you actually think you've got some GRAND conclusions to draw about this season? You think you can make a couple of predictions and sound real smart about what's going on in the NFL? Nobody knows what's going on in the NFL. NOBODY. Don't draw conclusions. It is what it is this week. The whole thing may turn around again. --Mike

If I hadn't seen the Redskins the first five weeks, I think they were a good solid team, particularly on defense. My problem is that I watched them go 0-5 and even worse was the way they went 0-3. CLEARLY, they have improved enormously, but I have to admit, I find it INEXPLICABLE the way Philadelphia played on Sunday. On 4th and 1 how can you not give Donovan McNabb the ball. And while others will blame Andy Reed --and Andy has blamed himself -- I think McNabb should have gone to the sideline and said "What are you doing?" This guy is allegedly the #2 playmaker behind Brett Favre. He HAS to have the ball on 4th and 1. HAS TO. There is NO debate. --Tony

Don't blame a 23 year old kid b/c he doesn't bully his coach b/c you would be the 1st jerk to rip him for being a divisive force. Lay the blame where it belongs on these big fat coaches b/c they have been doing this at all. You have 9 hours a day on the radio and you haven't blamed any of the coaches. Blame some of these genius, punk coaches. --Mike

I'm blaming YOU. --Tony

That's better. --Mike

You always say somebody has to slap somebody. So, McNabb, who you think is SO great, should slap his coach and then all the players would rally around him. You always say that players will rally around a player who slaps somebody. So let's see it happen here. --Tony

Somebody just sent me anthrax in the mail. --Tony

I hope it was McNabb. --Mike

McNabb couldn't get it to me like he couldn't get it to any of his receivers yesterday. --Tony

Washington, D.C.: Although improbable, it is certainly possible that Miami could lose to VTech, Florida could lose to Tennessee, Oregon could lose to Oregon State and Texas could lose to Colorado. If all that happens, does Maryland have a shot at the Rose Bowl?

Joe

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: No. B/c Colorado is going to be ahead of MD in the new BCS... in fact MD won't be in the Top 10 in the BCS. So, no. Be happy w/the Orange Bowl or Sugar Bowl bid 'cuz the Rose ain't happening. --Mike

You people never stop do you? MD just had a great season. Stop trying to get them into the Rose Bowl. The last Bowl they went to was the Poulan Weed Eater Bowl. Now, you're going to a New Year's Day Bowl. Pack your suntan lotion and your credit card and shut up. --Tony

Richmond, Va.: I know this is a reach, with the Bret Favres, Jeff Garcias and Marshall Faulks of the world out there, but is LaVar Arrington a legitimate MVP candidate? I can't think of where Washington would be without him and his containment of McNabb was masterful.

Thanks,

John

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: John, no, but if he keeps playing like this the rest of the season he joins Brian Urlacher, Michael Strahan and Champ Bailey as candidates for defensive player of the year. I'm sure there are other guys out there I'm not thinking of right now, but those are a few of them. --Mike

Well you know there has to be someone on New England and you know there has to be someone on Atlanta b/c they don't have any offense and they are in playoff contention. But this is why the guy the pick that he was. And this is why nobody laughed when he said "Give me #56." But The Chat House today is filled w/people who want specific validation for their local teams or players. And I think most of you people don't care what we think. You just want your own name and your own question in lights. So, buy a flashlight and shine it on yourself and you too can be just like Brian Billick: another ego-maniac who has all the answers. --Tony

WDC: Love PTI. How are you ratings?

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: Thank you. Better than anyone thought. --Mike

Plus when you watch SportsCenter, there are hardly any ads for PTI so it has to be a word of mouth success like The Sixth Sense. In fact, I nominate Wilbon for an Academy Award just like that Haley Joel Osment kid. They look alike don't you think? --Tony

What are you on drugs? The ads run a million times. If you weren't so busy trying to be an intellectual and seeing these dumb movies on the weekends.... if you sat around in your drawers and scratched yourself and watched ball like a man, then you would see the ads. There are too many of the stupid ads on. Stop going to movies when there are games on. Movies are for summer. Movies are for people who wear perfume. GAMES. That's what a man watches. Why don't you just move to Paris so you can see the Champs Elysee festival? --Mike

This is the low point in your intellectual life. Seriously, you are a complete idiot. And if you only read back on what you said, you would beg Mary to delete it. --Tony

You really are an idiot. Sorry. --Mary

But I'm a man. A real man. --Mike

And thank you for painting that lovely visual for all of us. --Mary

Washington, D.C.: I'd like your opinion, Tony, on James Joyce's book Ulysses. I started reading it last night and I can't make head or tails of it.

Mark

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: Mark, Ulysses is the SINGLE GREATEST BOOK IN THE HISTORY OF MAN, even better than "Competitive Greatness" by B Billick. When I was in college, I took a Joyce course which was 70 percent devoted to Ulyesses and I have such awe for that book and the parallels obviously to the Odyssey so thank you for raising the level of this discussion above Wilbon's lunatic screed about scratching himself and watching games. Thank you Mark. You have my gratitude. --Tony

What a fraud. You need to stop the Chat House now and have your testostrone level checked. --Mike

Mike has some testostrone cream you can borrow. --Mary

DC: Tony,

Because of that last comment, you have just lost a fairly loyal radio listener. Most of the people in this chat house have enormous respect for both you and Mike, and look forward to maybe having their points validated by the two of you (although you end up slamming more people than agreeing with them-even if you say the same exact thing with different words- they still send those questions) And a comment like that makes you just a bad as Billick, thinking that you have all the answers.

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: That's right. I'm w/you. I validate. --Mike

Well, sorry to have lost you. Please enjoy the Dr. Laura show. Now go take on the day. --Tony

Nice that you lost a radio listener. --Mike

No. VA: Tony...

You seem more ornery than usual over the past few chats. Are you sick of it? Are you getting burned out? You're working too much man...take a break.

Hey Wilbon.

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: Thank you. You sound like my doctor. And I have noticed that I am more onery lately and it probably does come w/too much work so I'm leaving The Chat House. Goodbye. --Tony

Baltimore, MD: Playstation 2, XBOX, or Gamecube? What are you guys buying for your kids (heh yeah right) this holiday season to play some great sports videogames?

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: My son has not asked for any of those things. He wants a Taylor Made three-wood. My daughter, I suspect, is a bit old for these things so I'm the wrong one to ask. --Tony

No, I'm the wrong one to ask cuz I don't got no kids. At least none that I know of anyway. Then again that's what Shawn Kemp thought didn't he? --Mike

fort lauderdale flordia: Watching the Wizzards the other night I realized that Michael Jordan is the problem not the answer. The reason the other four people on the court stand aound is because he holds the ball to long. What player wants to watch a guy hold the ball for 22 seconds then pass it to you so you only have time to throw up a desperation shot?

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: This is my brother Don's position and he is the biggest Jordan fan ever and he watches every Wizards game now and says exactly what you just said. I'm going to have to watch more closely the next few games b/c the real fanatic Jordan watchers are saying this more frequently and there must be something to it. --Mike

Enough of Jordan. What do you think of Dark Angel this year Mike? --Tony

Pretty much the same thing I thought of it last year. They weren't making teenage girls who look like Jessica Alba when I was coming along. That' what I think of it..... I think she's 20 now right? --Mike

I'm a big fan of 24. I stay up past my bedtime to watch 24. --Tony

MIAMI: Dear PTI-amigoes:

You guys never, EVER talk about my Dolphins. Even when you make your picks in The Chat House, you always seem to forget to pick the MIA game. What's up with that? I am a loyal Kornheiser Show/PTI/WashPost fan, and this is what I get?

All I want is for someone to tell me (the Miami Herald sucks) why the Miami freaking Dolphins are mediocre year in and year out.

C'mon guys. I am counting on you.

Maria

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: We are going to talk about the Dolphins today on PTI so tune in. I'll admit I hate Wannstedt for what he did to the Bears and I've been thinking he's going to collapse this year like he always does. But people who follow the Dolphins and him say he's fundamentally changed as a football coach. SO I have to give him a fairer shot. --Mike

Miami Dolphins are a perenially disappointing team b/c and I'm being very sincere when I say this : they don't have any great player who can take the game on his back and win it. It really is that simple. You need a GREAT player in football like you need a go-to guy in basketball or a dependable closer in baseball. You tell me who the Dolphins have on offense who is great, really great and the answer is nobody. And they haven't had one in 8-10 years since Marino was in his prime. --Tony

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: We have to go....

Picks for this week:

December 2nd:

TONY:
Denver at Miami: Miami will win that game at home.
Indianapolis at Baltimore: Baltimore will win this game.
Dallas at Washington: Redskins
New England at N.Y. Jets: Ohhh. Good game. Coin-flip: Jets
San Diego at Seattle: Who cares. Seriously who cares about this. I refuse to pick. It's a stinky
game.

People are picking against us. You have to pick. --Mike

I have to? --Tony

Yes.--Mike

Okay. Seattle b/c 10 or 11 road teams won this week and that trend is now over.


MIKE:
Denver at Miami: Miami. Denver is WAY done.
Indianapolis at Baltimore: Ravens
Dallas at Washington: Redskins by 20 or more.
New England at N.Y. Jets: Jets in a thriller
San Diego at Seattle: Flutie's last hurrah. San Diego on the road.

See you next Monday at 1:30 pm ET... Have a great week. --The Chat House

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