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The Chat House
With Tony Kornheiser
and Michael Wilbon
Washington Post Columnists
Friday, May 18, 2001;
2 p.m. EDT
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Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Hi, sorry we are late. It's my fault. The phone works in The Chat House today and we are expecting Wilbon. But there is the question of traffic. --Mary
I'm here. Let's roll. --Tony
herndon, va:
Mr Tony and Mr Mike - assuming Mr. M's phone is working, and after hearing Tony's rant about "Wilbon's and my clothing" on ESPN radio today - does Mr. M really spend more on underwear than Mr. T does on suits? steve
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Oh, you must have been listening on the Internet. Yes, you must have been listening on the Internet. The answer is no. I don't profess to have intimate details of Wilbon's lingerie situation. But even if I only spent $200 on this particular suit, how much do you think his underwear costs? --Tony
It's not La Perla... which is for women. Like $500 a bra. --Mary
The only thing Wilbon knows about lingerie and underwear is what he reads in Victoria's Secret that comes to his house in a brown paper bag. I'll have you know, I have more expensive clothing than WIlbon. It just looks crummy on me. I am happy, however, to report that Hecht's has come to my rescue and will split the suit giving me the 42 jacket and the 43 pants. --Tony
Really? --Mary
After I did a rant on the radio about being unable to buy this summer suit on sale b/c one jacket fit, but the pants didn't and vice versa. People from Hecht's called up and said they would make sure I could purchase the suit. And purchase it I will on the sale price as quoted in Thursday's Washington Post which is why I went to buy it. --Tony
What did you buy? --Mike
A suit. --Tony
I am here and my suit did not cost $150. I have a general rule: which is NO suit that you wear should be in the same price range as a round of golf which last 4 hours. --Mike
You'd better tell Wilbon not to play Pebble b/c that's a $400 ticket right there. --Tony
$350. And NO, I haven't owned a $350 suit in years either. You make a trillion dollars a year. The GNP of Bolivia is less than what you make and you're trying to make a suit that makes rain gear. --Mike
Nautica Suit. ---Tony
Why don't you just buy a suit from Converse? Or Nike. Or Titleist? --Mike
Chatham, NJ:
I think the Chat House with Tony and Mike should be renamed "The Chat House with Tony Kornheiser and occasional guest Michael Wilbon."
Glad to see that A-Rod's decision, based on "where he was most likely to win" is panning out for him. For me, Texas' absolute stink-ification is the feel-good sports story of the year.
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Laughter... from Tony.
That's good NJ. But if you're going to do that we should rename the columns: Reporting And Getting To Know Actual Athletes On Location With Mike Wilbon and How To Write A Column Without Leaving YOur Easy Chair With Tony. I guess that demonstrates the real genius when you can do it, not even be there and still get to the country club by 4pm. --Mike
Yeah. That pretty much sums it up. --Tony
laughter in The House...
As for your comment, it's always about the money. A-Rod is a GREAT player and he has been around long enough to know that you don't go anywhere w/out pitching. And he knew, as JOhnny Oates knew, that Texas had no pitching. He went for the money and I suspect sometime in his tenure Texas will get pitching and they will win. But they don't have it now. --Tony
If any of these guys would stand up and be a MAN and say "SHUT UP and GIVE ME THE MONEY....I AM TAKING THE MONEY," nobody would say a word. I WOULD TAKE THE MONEY. And I would say that I am taking the $$. But when you lie and you start talking about chance to win or the school district your kids will be moving to or your family's preferences, then we take great, great, great joy when you fall flat on your stupid face.. not b/c you got paid, but b/c you couldn't be a MAN and be honest about it. So, I hope Texas loses every single game and until this spring, I LOVED A-Rod. On the short list of guys that I would actually want to be, it's starts w/Hugh Hefner and it includes very high on the list: A-Rod. --Mike
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Shout Out: We are making it clear right now that there are certain subjects we are not going to dignify in The Chat House. We are not going to deal w/any rumors about people's sexuality or their illnesses or anything private. You have a right to know about the illnesses of Presidential candidates and some elected officials. And that's it. And people's sexuality is not open for discussion in The Chat House...unless it's a hot babe. --Tony
Amen. --Mike
Boston, MA :
Mike,
Jessica Alba is getting married!!! What are you going to do??
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: If I'm a pervert for lusting after Jessica Alba. Than what about the guy who is marrying her? --Mike
She's 20. --Rachel
Rachel Alexander is in The House people. --Mary
That's okay. He's marrying her. --Tony
Wilbon is foaming at the mouth and can't speak. --Tony
I wouldn't go that far. I save foaming at the mouth for Jennifer Lopez and Sela Ward. --Mike
Jennifer Lopez. Over-rated. --Tony
I'm going to talk about your sexuality if you say that again. --Mike
Under-rated Hector Lopez. --Tony
Ann Arbor, Mich.:
Who do you think was a bigger disappointment to Redskins football, Desmond Howard or Heath Shuler?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: We are going to attack you very early in The Chat House. I realize that living in Michigan you got no Pistons and the Tigers don't matter. But, don't dare, in the middle of May, the day before the Preakness and in the middle of some pretty spectacular NBA playoff games ask us something as inconsquential as to Desmond Howard or Heath Shuler disappointment level. Are you one of these people who are stuck in NFL season, 365, as if you are Mort or John Clayton? We sought you out to attack people who are into the NFL now. The draft is over. Camp is 6 weeks away. Watch something relevant. Please. Thank you. --Mike
They both stunk. --Tony
DC:
Who do you think will win the upcoming Kemper Open?
I know, I know with baseball, NBA and NHL playoffs in full swing, I ask a stupid golf question but to quote the guy Clint Eastwood shoots in Dirty Harry, "I gots to know"
Thanks.
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Golf is in season. In mid-season. Golf is fine. The NFL is not fine. We know it's going to be someone we've never heard of b/c that's what happens at the Kemper. It'll be someone who is unknown even to people who read every page of every issue of Golf Digest. --Mike
Historically, it's a first time winner and often a last time winner. I root for Grant Waite who won it 10 years ago b/c I played 9 w/him last year and he was a really swell guy to play with. With 2 weeks to go before the open, maybe someone like Nicholson will win it. But the odds are, it'll be someone unknown. --Tony
Why is that? --Mike
It's stuck in the schedule 2 weeks before the US Open and a lot of guys take off. But I have this to please you golf fans: on Tuesday, May 22 at 3pm, I will be playing in the Kemper Celebrity Skins Game w/3 pros. I don't know who they are. Last year, I did this played 9 holes, picked up on 4 of the them, hit the ball so far into the ruff, I couldn't find it. I was literally in my pocket on 4 of the 9 holes, though I birdied #5, the greatest achievement of my life. This year my caddy will be John Jr. Feinstein and I know you'll want to come see that. Wilbon would have written about us, but alas he will be doing that silly thing known as reporting on his way to LA. --Tony
Maggie's Farm:
I have noticed how the two of you fawn over the "Sopranos" show. Personally, I think, other than the sex, it's highly overrated. What's the attraction.
Maggie
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Maggie, saying the Sopranos is overrated is almost as insane as TK saying Jennifer Lopez is overrated. It's violent, it's is certainly dealing w/stereotypes that Italian Americans have every right to find objectionable...
My people, btw. --Mary
But it is so well written and the performances are so riveting that I am depressed that this the last week of it. --Mike
I'm seconding that. Although, I'm voting for Catherine Zeta-Jones over Lopez. --Rachel
We are not having an election here! --Mike
And Brad Pitt over them all. --Rachel
And we are not having beef cake time here so we are going to order you OUT. --Mike
The only thing worse than trying to buy a $150 suit that doens't fit from a company that designs rainwear is belonging to a country club, paying cash for your cars, and not having HBO in your home.
Hmmm...wonder who that could be? --Mary
I got teenage children and I"m not having HBO. It's not a question of money. I've seen Sopranos when I'm in a hotel and it's a fabulous show. Though, I would point out that it has the great benefit of being on cable TV w/no language restrictions and if that had been the case for Hill Street Blues we wouldn't be having this conversation. --Tony
No one is knocking Hill Street Blues. How much can you praise it? --Mike
Not enough. --Tony
Let's get this straight. You and I both know your kids know every line to every Eminem song. The stuff on HBO can't touch the graphic sex and violence that is a part of their sensory intake from the time they hit school. HBO is a cartoon from what goes into their ears and eyes. It's a cartoon. Every kid their age. --Mike
Total silence...... Nothing to write... sorry.---Mary
Pittsburgh, PA:
Would you ever in a million years have thought the Penguins would make it this far in the playoffs with Jagr not scoring and a heretofore unknown goaltender from Sweden between the pipes?
Is the debacle yesterday a signal that this is the end of the line?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Yes. Of course.-- Mike
No! --Tony
He says that... it is a totally phonied up answer. --Mike
It is not. --Tony
He went around advancing this dumb premise that the Caps ought to beat the Penguins. It was dumb. It was not sincere on any level and it was just to get under Ron Wilson's skin...which was fine. But, let's not kid ourselves about the NJ Pittsburgh series. NJ is better. NJ and CO are the best teams in the NHL and they will play for the Stanley Cup Finals. One step behind them is Pittsburgh. --Mike
Wilbon has not been physically in the Chat House in 8 weeks. He has come here w/SO Much energy. It is an awesome dislay of verbiage. He will then go on the road for 8 more weeks and his phones won't work. I'll have to carry The Chat House on my back and he'll waltz in like Lawrence of Arabia and say "I'm here Jack, let's go to the phones." --Tony
YEAH! --Mike
The Hinterlands:
My problem is: I woke up this morning, and the Twins were 17 games above .500. Did I miss something. Is it 1965, all over again? Does this mean I get my hair back?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: If it's about hair and 1965, it's got to be a TK question. --Mike
There are 2 teams you have to root for this year. Seattle b/c in the past 3 season they lost Randy Johnson, Ken Griffey Jr and A-Rod and they are somehow better right now...all credit has to go to Lou Pinella and Pat Gillick. And you will notice what Baltimore has done since Gillick left. Now, the other team you have to root for is Minnesota b/c they got no money honey and they are doing this just like David Copperfield w/midgets and mirrors. --Tony
I would suggest that the actual players in Seattle might deserve some credit too. --Mike
But, you know what I mean. --Tony
Yeah. But, these guys could have bailed and quit. They could have said you people didn't pony up, why do we want to continue here and they didn't do that. --Mike
Washington, DC:
2 questions: What is going on w/ the Tyson fight in D.C. on June 2nd, and when is baseball, realistically, coming to this region?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Neither is coming to this region. Neither baseball nor Tyson will be performing in this region anytime soon. --Mike
June 2nd is a week from now. Ain't you got no electricity in your building? You want Tyson. Go to Tysons Corner pal. --Tony
Or buy some chicken. --Tony
Or just go to his house off of River Road. It'll be the toasty one. It'll look like Lisa Left-Eye Lopez was just there. --Mike
Arlington, VA:
What are your guys' thoughts on the Lakers-Spurs series?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Oh yeah. --Mike
I believer that the Spurs MUST, repeat MUST win games 1 and 2 to win this series. If they beat LA twice in a row, the Lakers confidence will be shot. But if the Lakers win one of the first 2 games, they will win the series. --Tony
I hate to agree w/Tony on this one, but I do 100 percent. But, this a great series for basketball purists, for people covering the series like me b/c of the juicy sub-plots and for the league which needs a legitimate star driven match-up to sell. Shaq hates David Robinson and while his reason seem.... --Mike
Idiotic? --Tony
Silly at this point... he does hate him and he wants to kill him on the court. And those 2 will be matched. But, Phil Jackson says he will put Shaq on Duncan late in games. There is this whole story line w/Derek Anderson and when he might return to the lineup and whether he can do anything against Kobe who has averaged 38 pts a game this season against St. Antonio. There is another story line involving Phil Jackson who repeatedly said that the Spurs Championship from 1999 is tainted b/c it was a 50-game lock
out shortened season. The Spurs don't dislike anybody, but they have got to be wanting a piece of the Lakers at this point. Shaq and Phil have shot off their mouths for weeks and this could be good and ugly. Don't you think? --Mike
I can tell you someon the Spurs hate. --Tony
Juwan? --Mike
Yeah. --Tony
Hughesville:
Tony and Mike,
Michael Jordan said in his own piece in the yet-to-be-released ESPN magazine that he may well trade the first round pick rather than take the chance that his draftee would "not be clutch". Tell me please that he wouldn't trade that pick for a Scottie Pippen, thus leaving us without him, Scottie or any young tallent in two years.
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: No. I have talked to 6 GM/President types in the last 10 days. 5 of them say convincingly they would trade the pick if they won the lottery b/c their choices primarily boil down to high school kids who probably won't have impact for 3 years or Shane Battier who a lot of NBA personnel people don't believe in. I think I would take Battier if I was running a team as bad as the Wizards. And I know DOug Collins would. The question is whether Collins can convince Jordan and I don't think so. --Mike
I would unhesistantly and eagerly take Shane Battier w/the #1 pick regardless of what team I was. Michael Jordan has make one pick in his life so far and it was Leonard Hamilton. ..That's why he doesn't want to make another one. He doesn't want to be wrong. All that junk about Yao-Ming, the 7ft 6 inch stick, I'm glad to say is over. --Tony
For this year. It'll be back next year. --Mike
Yeah. Battier is an credible player and a guy who has proven that he can win and I would take him happily. And here's who agrees w/me, besides Doug Collins: David DuPree. --Tony
Missoula, MT:
Sirs and Madam:
When is the picture of fat, growling Wilbon on the Chat House home page going to be replaced with a photo of skinny Wilbon?
Thank you.
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: I got to stay growling. There is something about smiling black people...sometimes. It's okay for Shaq. I don't want to look like Uncle Ben. --Mike
Uncle Ben makes some pretty good rice. --Tony
Arlington, VA:
Tony and Mike -- we get to see your mugs on the website when we check in every week, but we have no idea what Mary looks like. She's clearly the glue that holds the Chat House together. Any chance of remedying this horrendous oversight?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Uh. No. --Mary
Yeah stalker boy. You think we don't think we don't see through that inquiry? --Mike
Maggie's Farm (Again!):
Dear Mr. Wilbon-
I only watched the "Sopranos" once. I just wanted you to answer my query so I could visualize you becoming unglued in your fine, fine snappy and natty threads. You rule baby!
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Very good Maggie. Very good. --Mike (and Tony)
College Park:
Another golf comment. I would love to see Sorenson, Woods, Mekelson and maybe Pak or Pepper play in a foursome. Maybe for a charity. Not a "Battle of the Sexes" thing like that Tennis thing...but Woods/Sorenson as a team...or maybe Sorenson with the 2nd rated guy and Woods with the 2nd rated gal. Any chance this could happen?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: There is supposed to be one of those Skins games w/Sorenstam, Carrie Webb, Tiger and David Duvall. I'm sure if you call the people at IMG they will give you a drool cup and a free pass. --Tony
It won't be free. But, yeah the format... I'd like to see that. I think that would be kind of cool. --Mike
L.A., CA:
Hi Guys,
If I may be so bold to ask you an off-beat question, I was wondering if you have any opinion on why, it seems to me, Jesse Owens gets so little recognition when compared to so many others?
I know this is from left field, but a few months ago, when everyone was jockeying about who was the greatest athlete in the 20th century, commentary on Mr. Owens was little and far apart. I realize that Muhammed Ali, Mickey Mantle, Namath, Spits, and other "legendary" or "larger than life" sports figures have legions of followers, and indeed Ali may deserve a lot for being so brazen, so determined, and so willing to be plain spoken, but for the life of me, when compared to Jesse Owens, who stuck it to the Nazis IN THEIR FACES, playing the ultimate "away game" it just doesn't seem to add up.
Is it the lack of color photography, poor education, short attention spans, or just a dismissal of important things that largely happened before 1965?
I mean, when I think of a hero, or just a sports hero, he is always the first person to leap into my mind, and that's coming from a 31 year-old middle-class white guy.
Thanks.
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Good question. I was fortunate enough to meet Jesse Owens when I was a kid. Not just meet him but have a real conversation w/him and it had a lasting impression on me. My father thought that Jesse Owens was heroic on a couple of different levels. There are 2 issues w/the lack of appreciation shown him. The first is his greatest feats happened 65 years ago. --Mike
This is what's going to happen to TIger Woods at the end of the next century. No one will have a sense of how great he was. It is a function of time and age. --Tony
W/the exception of Babe Ruth. And Joe Louis. Also, the 2nd is track and field is hard to get a handle on for a lot of people, particularly for Americans. Track and field is just not celebrated by Americans. Carl Lewis talks about this eloquently all the time. --Mike
I don't buy that. Are you calling Carl a liar? --Mike
No, I'm calling you an idiot. I voted in that... --Tony
Yea, you voted for a horse. --Mike
That's right. And I think Carl Lewis is about the greatest athlete I've ever seen. Jesse Owens was certainly equal to Carl or maybe greater, but this is no fault of Owens-- he performed in the pre-TV, pre-instant replay, pre-24 hr a day sports coverage era. And sadly, all those guys b/c we don't have enough highlight tape on them, all those guys suffer in comparison. It was a miracle to me that Babe Ruth and Joe Louis and even Jim Brown placed as high as they did and I think a tribute to the sense of history that so many of the younger voters tried to have. Probably like Wilbon and I b/c they got that sense of history from their own fathers. --Tony
You're talking about a group of people that includes Red Grange, Jim Thorpe, Babe Didrickson, Bill Tilden, Bronko Nagurski and God knows Jack Johnson. We undervalue all of them. Thank God for ESPN Classic. Everyone in this Chat House who is under 50 ought to spend more time watching Classic. We can learn something. Once I turn it on, I tend to stay on it, for 2 or 3 hours at a time. --Mike
I am so old that I am on Classic and I'm going now to take a nap. See you soon. --Tony
Harrison, NJ:
Tony, you went on record here saying Yao Ming sucks. Considering every basketball expert disagrees with you, would you agree to apologize to him when he wins rookie of the year honors when he finally makes it here?
Also, good job on Imus this morning.
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: He can't play right now. He's not an NBA player right now. If he wins Rookie of the Year, I'll apologize. If he doesn't, will you wash my car? --Tony
And mine too. --Mary
If he wins I want Tony to wear a Yao-Ming mask for a week. --Mike
SS, MD:
What does Shaq have against Robinson, anyway?
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Shaq says David Robinson dissed him when he was a kid in San Antonio. He says that Robinson wouldn't sign his autograph and wouldn't talk to him. --Mike
Get over it. High school? --Mary
Now, I love Shaq but I go back 15 years w/David Robinson and I can honestly say I've never covered a more decent man. He's generous w/his time, he signs stuff for kids until his fingers are cramped. I don't understand this thing and why it hasn't been fixed by now. But, it seems to have passed the point of no return. --Mike
Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon: Gotta go. Gotta catch a flight to San Antonio. Good to be in The House again. And I'll probably join you by phone from the NBA playoffs the next few times we convene. --Tony
There won't be a Chat House next week. Take the day off people. We are. See you in 2 weeks. --The Chat House
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