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From Kindergarten to
College
Elementary School:
Home Schooling
With Linda Dobson
Author, Columnist, Home Schooler
Friday, Sept. 7, 2001; 2 p.m. EDT
Home schooling: A growing trend or an outdated idea that leaves your children behind those in traditional learning environments?
Linda Dobson, spokesperson for the National Home Schooling Network, was online Friday, Sept. 7 at 2 p.m. EDT, to take your questions and comments about home schooling.
Dobson began homeschooling her three children in New York in 1985. A conference speaker, article and book author, she was Home Education Magazine news editor and columnist for eight years, and currently writes the "Notes from the Road Less Traveled" column. She is also a library board of trustees vice-president, town council person, and "early years" advisor for Homeschool.com. Dobson also serves as editor for the Prima Publishing Home Learning Library.
The transcript follows.
Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control
over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.
Linda Dobson: I’m happy to be here as part of the National Home Education Network’s mission of promoting public understanding of homeschooling. The Post’s inclusion of homeschooling in its education coverage is encouraging as homeschooling is increasingly recognized as a viable educational option for families of extremely diverse backgrounds.
Just want to begin with a note to say that for the sake of saving some time (and wear and tear on the ol’ wrists!) I’ll use a few abbreviations in my answers. hs=homeschool, hsing=homeschooling, hsed=homeschooled, hser=homeschooler.
Washington, D.C.:
Hello --
I have a childhood friend who home schools her children with much success in Texas. She is part of a large network of home schoolers in her area and they help each other in both formal and informal ways. However, I live in the city and hardly know anyone who home schools in my neighborhood. Is it possible to home school without a large network of other home schoolers around you? Thanks.
Linda Dobson: Hello –
As someone who began hsing 16 years ago, I can assure you my family didn’t have a large network of hsers around us! While the benefits of a network are nice, they’re not essential to the practice; you may just have to be a little more creative in finding learning opportunities with your children. Remember, too, that activities that exist for all children are open to hsed children as well. Scouts, 4H, community sports leagues, YMCA/YWCA programs, everything from violin lessons to karate classes, and volunteering at the local library or a non-profit agency all offer "networking" opportunities.
Contact both the VA Home Educators Assoc. (www.vhea.org) and the MD Home Educators Association (www.mhea.com) for info on groups near you. If all else fails, remember that by and large homeschooling support groups were started by interested parents who hung a notice at the local skating rink or library and slowly grew as word spread. Good luck!
Northern Virginia:
What resources are out there for people who are homeschooling for reasons besides religious separation? I'm considering it based on my experiences as a bored gifted child and because my child will be raised in an earth-based spirituality and I don't want to expose her to close-mindedness and discrimination. But, most of the homeschooling groups are operated by fundamentalist Christians, so I have a feeling they'd be less than friendly to my pagan self. Any groups out there for off-the-grid independent spirits?
Linda Dobson: While fundamentalist Christians lead some homeschooling groups, by no means are "all" of them. Why, right in your backyard you’ll find the Family Oriented Learning Cooperative (http://FOLC.homestead.com/FOLC.html) whose motto is, "No rules, no dues, no hierarchy." Also, the VA Home Education Network (www.vhea.org) will be able to help you. The National Home Education Network (www.nhen.org) has a website teeming with resources and information I think will please you. Among the scores of email lists devoted to specific religions combined with homeschooling is one for pagans. You can get in touch by sending an email to PHSlistparent@yahoo.com. Have fun!
Alexandria, Va.:
I find it interesting that there are so few people in the middle ground on the home schooling question: people either seem to think it's the best thing for every kid, or that it's simply wrong and home schooling will warp a child.
I, however, am firmly in the middle on this. I believe home schooling can be remarkably effective for certain families, but it won't work for everyone. And the same goes for public schools -- they work very well for many kids, but not all.
Am I the only one out there?
Linda Dobson: I don’t think you’re the only one out there; your observation is very common sensical in that every family’s circumstances are different, and individual children have their own learning styles. It makes sense that one way to learn isn’t going to fit all. I don’t know many (if any) hsing parents who would say the practice are for everyone – what you’re probably seeing is just enthusiasm from those that have tried it and found it a blessing for their own children. Thanks for asking.
Arlington, Va.:
I have a 5-year-old who has entered kindergarten. He is an only child. We are considering home schooling as an option Is this a good idea for an only child and if we were to pursue this option, what would be the best way to do it (i.e. resources, curriculum, etc.) and what pitfalls are there? Keep in mind we want our son to enjoy learning AND be socially well-adjusted. Can home-schooling achieve both of these goals?
Linda Dobson: Yes, hsing is helping children enjoy learning and be socially well adjusted. In fact, hsed children tend to retain the love of learning with which they were born because it is such a flexible educational approach that can be customized for each child. In my latest book, The First Year of HSing Your Child, I describe ways to help parents determine their child’s learning style, then show examples of no less than 9 different popular approaches, including the use of unit studies, eclectic, Charlotte Mason and independent cooperative learning situations.
The myth you hear about hsed children lacking socialization is just that – a myth. It’s interesting that hsing critics can’t accept that children learning with the entire world as their classroom will naturally engage in "natural" socialization, while children locked away in an institution are subject only to an artificial socialization – that type of socialization, with only same-aged mates who live in the same zip code, is never again repeated in life! It appears, though, that we’ll probably be hearing this criticism less frequently as too many folks now know enough hsing families to realize it’s baloney.
I hope you’ll experiment with hsing for at least a couple of years!
Columbia, Md.:
Three quick questions. If you can't answer all of them please take them in the order that I wrote them. Thanks.
1. What are the main reasons why parents home school their children?
2. Do you support the notion of requiring public schools to allow home schooled children to attend certain classes in public schools such as physical education, band, chemistry, etc.?
3. Do you feel that more parents would opt for alternative schools such as charter schools if more exisited?
Linda Dobson: For the sake of time I’ll answer all questions very briefly.
1) When I was conducting research for *Hsing: The Early Years: Your Complete Guide to Successfully Hsing the 3- to 8-Year-Old Child,* I asked many families this very question. They answered, in order of popularity:
1) Improved academics
2) Increased social opportunities
3) Stronger family
4) Safety
5) Health
2) No, I don’t. It would stifle the creativity being applied to creating wonderful alternatives, and the gov’t. never gives money without accountability strings attached. Hsing is proving a successful educational approach because of its freedom from such strings and accountability. This action would eventually hurt hsing more than it helps.
3) Anecdotal evidence suggests such schools have awfully long waiting lists, so I’d have to say yes.
West Nyack, N.Y.:
Are mentors (teachers) found many places in the world or just in schools?
Linda Dobson: Thank heavens mentors aren’t only found in schools, or we’d all go brain dead when we left, eh?
If one considers mentors anyone who knows more than us about something we’d like to know more about, then the truth is we spend our entire lives surrounded by mentors. When we first began hsing many moons ago, I was a little leery of approaching strangers to help, to open their offices or places of business to an inquisitive family and spend a bit of time answering our questions. I needn’t have been worried – as a rule people are thrilled to share their knowledge with children who are eager to learn. As they grew my children established fantastic learning opportunities, continuing friendships, and in two of three cases, their first paid work through looking at others as mentors. I highly recommend it!
Nyack, N.Y.:
Because the child is not in school all day, what kind of a relationship does the homeschooled child get to have with their family, their friends and the community that they live in?
Linda Dobson: Ah, yes, relationships, one of many valuable "side benefits" of hsing! Because I speak at conferences across the country I get to talk with many hsing families throughout the year. By and large they are exceptionally pleased that hsing allows them so much time with their children because they can continually build relationships with their offspring, adjust them as the children grow, and restore the relationships when inevitably they are tested. The same impact carries beyond the family to friends and the greater community.
Bethesda, Md.:
How does one check to make the children are being taught the right information, and not the parents beliefs for example, lets say the parents believe that the holocaust did not happen, so they teach their child that the situation never happened. How is the parent check upon so this situation never happens?
Linda Dobson: Your question mirrors a general lack of trust in parents to impart the knowledge necessary to help children become independent, functioning adults. Since the parents will be the ones to suffer if this doesn’t happen, they have an inherently strong instinct not to sabotage their own children! While kids can be socially promoted until a public school can wash its hands of them, the same isn’t true in a family, which reveals yet another incentive for success.
I would guess there are rare instances where your example occurs. There aren’t ways to check on this, at least not until that child encounters the truth which, as it does for everyone, will serve to correct false understandings.
Likewise, there is no way for me to invade the privacy of your home to check if you are teaching your children to be racists, yet it could be happening as I sit here and write. The possibility exists, but I don’t think any of us would want to give up inalienable rights across the board to find the rare instances of this occurrence. There are also many who wouldn’t agree that just because something is taught in school makes it true, so it also goes back to the old saying, "You’re not going to please all of the people all of the time." Thanks for asking.
No Location:
What help is available in dealing with school districts that are hostile towards homeschooling?
Linda Dobson: Every state has at least one statewide hsing organization, and then there are local groups. Search for information and contact these folks with questions about dealing with such districts. They will be the ones who have experience and can best help you decide on your course of action. Good luck (and I hope you're just asking "in case!")
Chicago, Ill.:
Our first child is under one-year old and we have not focused on the issue of education for him, but I am seeking some insight on the following:
1. How many is unmanagable? Say one has four children ranging in age from 12 years old to 6 years old. Does a maximum capacity exist where the eldest should begin to attend non-home school?
2. Similarly, at what point should children make the jump from home school to non-home school: junior high school, high school or college/trade school? I assume that the trade-offs become larger as the child becomes older, but they still may be worth it.
Thanks in advance.
Linda Dobson: Answer to #1. 64. No, there is no maximum capacity with regard to hsing. There are families out there hsing 5, 6, 10 kids! What they tend to find is that the older children learn a lot by helping with the youngest. Remember, hsing is not just a way to learn, but a lifestyle as well. Once you have enough experience it will weave its way into your home and you will work out a schedule and method best suited to your unique family.
2) The answer is up to you and your child, based on personality and what that child wants to do in the future. There truly isn't any 1 right point - again, it's what works best for those involved.
Good luck!
Takoma Park, Md.:
I am a single mother of an 11-year-old girl and would like to supplement her public school education with home schooling. Where do I begin? Thanks.
Linda Dobson: Just go about researching hsing just like those who are planning to do it full-time. Check your library for books and magazines on the topic. Search the Internet. Buy a few books. Find a local support group, attend a few meetings, ask a lot of questions. I've found hsers a wonderfully open and sharing bunch of folks who are happy to provide newcomers with the benefit of their experience. Good luck!
Wahington, D.C.:
How do children who are home schooled learn to deal with the realities of life?
Linda Dobson: They deal with the realities of life by never leaving "life" for an existence in an institution in the first place. It's life and learning all mixed together at its finest!
Niskayuna, N.Y.:
Time Magazine just did a cover story on homeschooling. It was obvious to me that the homeschoolers they interviewed said very positive things, which the writers then systematically edited down into setups for their unsubstantiated attacks on homeschooling. First, what was your opinion of the article? Second and more generally, you've been around the media for a long time -- has media coverage of homeschooling changed much, and in what ways? Finally, in light of the Time article's negative bias despite, apparently, a large amount of research for the story, do you have any suggestions for getting the media to paint a more accurate picture of homeschooling? Thanks.
Linda Dobson: Yikes! I could write a book! But briefly , on my first 6 readings I hated the article. When I went back and read it 6 more times trying desperately to see it with the eyes of someone who didn't know much about hsing, I saw the article more positively in that the snide remarks about public education were more visible. Finally, I fell back on that old PR maxim: Say whatever you want about me, just spell my name right! As a media contact for the Nat'l. Home Education Network I saw just how much *more* media coverage of hsing that article produced -- it was worth it just for that!
How has it changed? There's *much* more of it, and despite the Time article, much more of it is positive. It's been interesting to watch the main criticism of hsing change over the years. First it was parents can't possibly get a good curriculum. Once we got the "stuff," they complained we didn't have teaching credentials. Once our kids proved academically sound, it was socialization. Now, apparently, it's going to evolve to criticism of "citizenship." Just who should define a "good citizen" wasn't exactly made clear by Time's writers. ;-)
Get the media to paint a more accurate picture? Yes, get more and more hsers speaking up about the benefits they have experienced, and support networks like NHEN and New York's own New York Home Educators' Network (www.nyhen.org) with time and volunteer work! Thanks for asking!
Maryland:
In a public school, the child gets to experience and learn from all sorts of social experiences -- everything from making friends for life to getting beat up by the bully. When a child is home schooled, how can you make sure that he has access to these experiences? (I am not against home school, I just want to know how it works.)
Linda Dobson: In hsing circles there's a joke that when asked about learning how to deal with bullies, the father answers that once a week he takes his son into the bathroom, roughs him up and steals his lunch money. Kind of puts the question in a different light, eh?
Please be assured that hsed children make as many friends for life as do institutionally-schooled children. The biggest difference is that their friends tend to be of all ages w/o prejudice against those younger or older than themselves.
Thanks for asking!
Guilford, Conn.:
Hi Linda--
We know you've written several books on homeschooling. Which one would you say is best for someone just starting out?
Ned & Luz
Linda Dobson: Howdy!
I'd say the newest one, *The First Year of HSing Your Child* (Prima Publishing, 2001). It covers many aspects of that exciting, nerve-wracking first year, for both those who are beginning with a young child and those whose children are coming home from school.
You're the best - thanks!
Woodbridge, Va.:
I just want to thank you for all the years you have homeschooled and advocated for the homeschool movement. Many of us "newbies" would be too intimidated by the system to even begin homeschool our children if it weren't for all the men and women who went before us.
Linda Dobson: Aw, shucks...thanks in return. My motto is "one family at a time," and if you're one of them, I salute you, too!
{{{}}}
Dale City, Va.:
Are your children grown or are you still HSing?
What can you tell us about grown HSers and the contributions they will make to society?
Linda Dobson: Two of my children are grown and my third is in his last year of hsing (a senior in high school if we kept track of such things).
What I could tell you about grown hsers and their contributions could fill a book, and actually it did, one called *HSers' Success Stories: 15 Adults and 12 Young People Share the Impact That HSing Has Made on Their Lives."
Briefly, I expect that as their numbers grow we will see them addressing problems from a new perspective as they have grown free of the conditioning associated with public schooling, have learned to think for themselves, and haven't lost the curiosity and creativity it takes for new solutions. I can't wait!!!
Rural Ohio:
Homeschooling appears to be a luxury enjoyed by two-parent, single-income families. Where does the single parent who wants the best education (homeschooling) for her children fit in? How can the single parent work full-time (to support the family and keep insurance) and also homeschool?
Linda Dobson: Hi,
This will actually answer several folks' questions.
There are single parents working full-time who homeschool. In general, they have to be a little more creative and more organized than most. It helps immensely to have a strong support system of friends and relatives who can help you juggle the aspects of your life.
If at all possible, look into the booming entity of telecommuniting, or job-sharing, or building a business at home.
Also, remember children don't *only* learn during what are typically school hours. Some folks get up early to make time, some utilize evening hours after work, and turn weekends into marathon learning hours (not necessarily sitting down with text books, mind you, as there are so many other ways to learn!).
While I don't have an address handy, I know there are email lists for both single hsing parents and parents who hs while working. Please go to www.yahoogroups.com and run a search on hsing to find them to get inspiration and ideas from others who are succeeding. My hat is off to all of you who have the desire to do whatever is necessary to pull this off, and I wish you much success and many happy moments with your children.
New York:
What curricula did you use and how/why did you use it?
Linda Dobson: I never used curricula so I can only answer "why" for this aspect. When I started hsing I duplicated the only learning experience I knew of, and that was school. It didn't take long to see that this wasn't going to make any of us happy, and I quickly learned that you can lead a child to lessons but you can't make him think! I discovered that the more and more I incorporated their individual interests into the overall "plan," the more interested they were and, therefore, the more they learned. It was a lot less stressful, and much more successful.
A parent just needs to "think outside the school box" and get a little creative to start figuring out basic lessons can emerge from in-depth study of whatever interests a child.
Mt. Rainier, Md.:
I would have to argue that institutions and bureaucracies make up a large portion of an adult human being's life, and learning to cope with a wide variety of people, most of whom you didn't choose to be with, might be a vital part of education. Even having to deal positively with a mediocre teacher (no child should be forced to deal with a bad one) might be as educational as learning the times tables. Self-selected socialization is not precisely the same thing and might indeed reinforce the idea that we only want to be around 'our' kind of people.
Linda Dobson: Relax, real life just doesn't work out to be a "self-selecting" experience, so hsed kids are exposed to folks who are different than they are in many of their purposeful activities as well as their day-to-day life.
I don't think any child should have to tolerate a mediocre teacher, either. Childhood is too short, and the way the system is set up a mediocre teacher could mess things up for the rest of the child's school attendance days. Terribly unfair, I think.
Arlington, Va.:
In my former life as a reporter for a small daily in small-town America, I wrote an article on home schooling. I was pleasantly surprised by what I found. I say "surprised" because I had never really thought about home schooling before. The parents I talked to were bright, energetic and enthusiastic. Some had college degrees, others were high school graduates, but they all had the same focus -- teaching their children. And the kids had plenty of interaction with other kids, even in these small communities, through Little League, swimming lessons, Girl and Boy Scouts, etc.
Another thing I noticed was that the children all interacted remarkably well with adults (well, me). When I would interview kids at school, at most I would get a one-word answer. The home schooled kids took the time to discuss my questions with me. They were much less shy than non-home schooled kids.
While home schooling wouldn't be my choice for my family, I certainly understand now why it is such a good choice for so many families.
Linda Dobson: Thanks so much for adding your comments to the forum. I have heard your remarks echoed in many quarters.
Re: Time Magazine Article:
I'm an opponent of home schooling, and think the article was fair to both sides. I was glad to see that there is more and more non-religious hsing going on these days. however, I found one illustration very disturbing -- the photo of the undoubtedly fundamentalist religious family where the daughters were named Faith, Hope, etc. In the photo, the girls were wearing those dresses and hairstyles like the ones the multiple wives of Utah bigamist Tom Green wore, and they all looked depressed, repressed, overweight and were obvioulsy being tightly controlled by their parents. This was very upsetting to see!
Linda Dobson: Thanks for your comments on the fairness of the Time article. I'm sorry that the family's appearance upset you, but I hardly think all such folks homeschool, and any of our interpretations of the photo are subjective at best. My guess is there are many more similar children in school than out of it.
Boston, Mass.:
We don't report our hsing to the state and we live in a fairly restrictive state. With the popularity of hsing in the country, what do you think the chances are that anyone "out there" will catch us? Do you care to comment on underground hsers?
Linda Dobson: Oooh, I wouldn't render a guess as to the odds of your being caught (don't want you to come back to me and say, "But you said we wouldn't be caught!" )
As one who hsed "underground" for the first few years before any hsing "rules" were established in my state, I realize that those who do so tend to have a philosophical/moral imperative to do so and honor their decisions.
Germantown, Md.:
Why did you decide to home-school your children?
Linda Dobson: My oldest child, a really happy-go-lucky kind of guy, went to a suburban kindergarten. We saw many personality changes in him that were disturbing, including a new tendency to unleash pent-up aggression on the baby sister he had previously idolized. Fortunately for me, John Holt, often called the granddaddy of hsing, was on the Donahue Show to discuss hsing and I happened to catch it. The rest, as they say, is history!
Washington, D.C.:
Are there any state-established criteria for allowing parents to home school? What if a parent never made it out of the 8th grade but decides to home school? Doesn't that put his/her children at a disadvantage?
Linda Dobson: Every state has its own criteria for hsing and it varies widely. If a parent is literate and cares deeply about his/her child, amazing obstacles can be overcome. Besides, where is it written that a parent must hs alone? There's lots of help available, from purchased curriculum to online courses to support group activities to hs cooperatives...it truly is "where there's a will there's a way."
Maryland:
Seriously, learning how to deal with bullies and the social complexities therin is very important. There will always be someone bigger, stronger, prettier, or more socially connected and sometimes that person just wants to see you miserable. Learning how to cope with it and strike back is very important.
I just would like to know how a home-schooled child would learn this. Would you recommend "extra-curricular" activities like sports or clubs? Would you recommend that several the neighborhood home-schooled kids meet during the week for field trips, lunch, or play? How would a child learn the various kinds of social interaction when he is on his own?
Again, I'm not against the idea of home schooling. I could see it how it would be wonderful for some children. I'm just curious about how these very valuable things are learned.
Linda Dobson: I would recommend additional activities to any hsing family. At the same time, I would recommend that they don't overdo it, as some families are prone to do and then find they are *never* home!
Most hsers aren't "on their own." They live and work and volunteer and play in the community, usually moreso than their publicly schooled counterparts.
You know, as I grew up and used as a "reason" to do something the fact that "everyone else is doing it," Mom always asked, "If they were all jumping off a high bridge would that mean you should, too?"
Mom's point then - and my point now - is that even if "everyone else is doing it," that doesn't make school's brand of socialization right or, more importantly, healthy. It's also artificial in that it's never again repeated in daily life. Surely the great country of the United States of America can think of a better way to teach its children to deal with social complexities than exposure to bullying and "socialization" by same-aged peers who know no more than they do.
Guilford, Conn.:
Do parents need to be certified by the government in order to teach their children?
Ned & Luz
Linda Dobson: Absolutely not! I like to think of parents as being certified with love of their children and an instinctual drive to do what is best for them.
Washington, D.C.:
How do home schooled children assimilate at University, especially since they are not necessarily used to dealing with cliques, timed tests, study groups, etc.? I am pretty much against the concept, but I am curious nonetheless.
Linda Dobson: Because many hsed children have literally grown up accepting part or complete responsibility for their education, they tend to be seen by university personnel as especially prepared for this environment. In fact, many colleges actively recruit hsed students because of their growing track record of excellence. One does not need to have been exposed to timed tests for an entire lifetime to learn how to take them as an adult. And, as I hope other answers have revealed by now, hsed kids don't grow up in a vacuum! They have usually already worked in groups, understood cliques either by being involved or having observed them as a scientist would and found them lacking! Thanks for your curiosity!
Washington, D.C.:
Hello,
I'm a graduate of the public school system, and although I was somewhat critical of it at the time, as I look back I realize what a valuable, enriching experience it was, above and beyond the academic achievement. I only had brothers, so I hung out with members of the opposite sex! I threw up in the cafeteria after eating too quickly one day! I won a Fire Prevention award for drawing a poster of a firefighter in 5th grade! I made friends that have lasted a lifetime. I learned how to deal with people from different income levels and ethnic groups. I fended off bullies, and built a lot of character in the process. I learned about death when the class hamster died.
How can home schooling compare with public education, America's great leveler, a true melting pot?
Linda Dobson: Unfortunately, instead of being a great leveler, public education has become a great "standardizer." HSed children experience all the things you outlined, only in different settings. While my own son didn't win a Fire Prevention aware for drawing a poster, he was and continues to be involved in actual firefighting and rescue training since the age of 14, in great part because hsing freed up enough time for him to devote to it. He, too, has friends for a lifetime (so far, anyway!), and learned about death from family pets as well as the decapitation he saw on his first rescue call. On the brighter side, he learned about birth by being there when his baby brother was born, and seeing our kitten born in our garage. It all comes out in the wash.
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