Rita Kempley (Craig Cola/ washingtonpost.com)

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It's Friday afternoon and you can almost taste the popcorn. Whether you're planning to hit the theater or your local video store, Rita's here to help you wade through the sea of choices.

It's also your chance to be a movie critic. Share your picks and pans, and tell us how things would be different if you ran Hollywood. Who would you cast in your movies and why?

A transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

Miss Edie: Hello Rita! Boy, you sure are MISSED. Do hope all is well, dear.

Excellent review on L.I.E. and I plan to see it this weekend but am a little creeped-out by the subject matter. I'm a big fan of Billy Kay. (He has a recurring role on "The Guiding Light"). What type of audience do you see venturing out to watch a movie about teenage hustlers and pedophiles? Should I feel ... dirty?

Rita Kempley: Hi Miss Edie: I missed you too. But from now on, they're cutting me back to every other week.
I'm glad you liked my review. I wish I'd had more time to do it justice. I saw it yesterday a.m. and had to dash it out. Billy Kay was terriific. I think the folks who liked "Happiness" will appreciate L.I.E. It has it's uncomortable moments, but I don't think it deserves an NC-17 rating. Nobody's boinking anybody on screen. And as in "Happiness," the director lets you decide what you think about the character. I didn't feel dirty. I felt dirty after Hannibal though.

Arlington: Glad to see the reviews for LIE today. The paper only notes however that the film is showing at Visions. It is in fact also playing at Ballston, CinemaArts in Fairfax, and the new gigantic-plex in Alexandria. Did you think the film deserved an NC-17?

Rita Kempley: Arlington: Thanks for the info. As I just mentioned to Miss Edie, I think the NC-17 is over-reaction. I think it would be R-rate if it weren't for the subject matter. There's lots of profanity, but the relationship between the pederast and the boy is really very similar to that between Kevin Spacey's character and the cheerleader in "American Beauty." Except low budget.

Herndon, Va.: OUR GLORIOUS EMPRESS: I know that one should never look at the movie biz cynically, but I have to think that several producers must be planning the earliest date they can start work on a movie about the 9/11 tragedies without getting (too much) adverse publicity.

Rita Kempley: Steve---Where on earth have you been? We were worried when you didn't check in the week after the terrorist attack. If lowlives are really selling debris from Ground Zero in New York, I supsect it's already on somebody's mind. Maybe the producer of Greatest Police Car Crack-ups. For now, all the studios are pulling the releases, in some cases because of the subject matter. In others, they believe in the film and don't want it to fail because nobody much wants to go to tough movies right now.

The Concession Stand: I hate to plug the competition, but The Post didn't carry this story, so I quote the following headline from the online front page of yesterday's Minneapolis Star Tribune: "Popcorn plant workers develop rare disease; artificial butter blamed."

Disclaimer: It was microwave popcorn, not theater popcorn and we're talking exposure to industrial quantities over a long period of time; it's vastly unlikely to be dangerous to movie fans even if we all saw as many movies as our Queen and ate a whole extra large popcorn with extra topping at every one. Even so, maybe I'll get the Junior Mints next time.

Rita Kempley: Dear Stand: It all depends on what you mean by "plug the competition." Thank you for warning all of us about this popcorn business. I must tell Jane Horwitz, whom call "extra large with butter," because I've never ever seen her without a tub load. Jane is teeny. Nevermind, we will all be more careful in the future.

Hogwarts, U.K.: Will the Harry Potter Movie live up to the book? I hope they managed to keep key scenes, characters, and locations in the movie.

With so much hype, what chance it won't live up to it?

Rita Kempley: Dear Hogwarts: Actually, I've been surprised at how little hype there's been surrounding the project. Maybe it just doesn't need any. I haven't heard any buzz, good or bad, but the trailers look magnifcent. And there's that incredible supporting casts.

EraserheadGuy, D.C.: Hi, Rita. Before transferring me to my new home in Rockville last week, they let me out for a few hours and I made a beeline to “Ghost World.” I "adooooooooored" it, just like you knew I would. The Eraserhead-o-meter blew a fuse; that hasn’t happened with a new movie since “The Sweet Hereafter.” “Ghost” was like the story of my life. Hard to say exactly which character I most resemble ... probably some of all of them, right down to the old guy waiting for the bus that doesn’t come. Remember the part where Steve Buscemi’s slob roommate farts? In the past we have decried the increasing use of fart jokes as cheap laffs, but in “Ghost World,” I thought it was a profound um, statement about the human condition. Like, sometimes a fart joke is more than just a fart joke. You know what I mean?

Rita Kempley: Hi EraserheadGuy: I couldn't agree with you more regarding the usage of flatulence in this instance. I think you will agree that it went a long in defining the character, too. I have long wanted to create a Fart Chart, but the editors of Arts and Style have turned deaf ears to my project.

Herndon, Va.: OUR QUEEN: You and "Concession Stand" have hit upon the most important factor in movie history -- the change from real butter on the popcorn to the god-awful artifical stuff made from a vat of chemicals stored under a nuclear waster facility. It no doubt is responsible for, among other things, the "Police Academy" series, the popularity of Pauley Shore and Adam Sandler, and the softening of America's collective brain to believe "The West Wing" is a true reprentation of the inner workings of the White House.

Rita Kempley: Dear Steve: Perhaps we could interest the Taliban in a boat load of the crap.

Broomes Island, Md.: Dearest Rita:
Why does Hollywood think that we don't want to see the Twin Towers on movies? I totally disagree. I am searching all my videos for glimpses of those beautiful buildings. Wadda U Think?

Rita Kempley: Broomes Island: I think erasing them is a little bit like historical revisionism, like trying to pretend like it didn't happen and that the footage should go unedited.

Laurie: Rita,

Hope everyone is well -- I have missed one and all...

Rita Kempley: Laurie: Good to hear from the prodigal suspect.

MagnoliaGuy, Alex., Va.: Welcome back. Finally saw Ghost World and loved it though its acerbic sting is a bit muted in this post-September 11 world of no-irony and earnest idealism.

I am very excited about the new Coens pic now that I've seen the trailer and the same goes for The Royal Tenenbaums from Wes Anderson. Any advance word on these two and when they hit D.C.? I know Tenenbaums is late December.

I never thought I'd see a movie season where I planned to avoid the new Scorsese project like the plague.

Rita Kempley: MagnoliaGuy: Great to be back and great to hear from you, too. I've heard that the Coens is difficult for the uninitiated, but otherwise intriguing. Everyone I've talked to is high on "The Tenenbaums." When it comes to "Ghost," I don't mind the angst and such. Teens are so introspective and in this case anyway, so depressed that it seemed to suit. Very sad, very true movie.

Laurel:

: Movie popcorn with "butter"

They have a scene about that in Ghost World.

Finest example of product anti-placement I've seen in years.

Rita Kempley: Laurel: That was a delicious scene.

Washington, D.C.: Madame Rita, Halloween is fast approaching. Will we have a seance again this year? It was so much fun last year talking to dead celebs.

Rita Kempley: You bet we are. I've also asked the cheif obit writer of TWP to join us for the special event.

Two steps away from the county line: Have you seen Serendipity? I don't like sappy movies, but I'm hoping this might be a compromise between me (loved Ghost World, House of Mirth, State and Main, for example) and my significant other (loved American Pie I and II). Or maybe both of us would hate it.

Rita Kempley: Two Steps: "Serendipity" is one of the most annoying movies I have ever seen. Well maybe not. But argh, it hurt to sit through this cloying tripe. What a stupid premise: Cute boy meets cute girl, she says if they are menat to be together, destiny will intervene. Many near-misses ensue. Too bad nobody cares if they do live happily ever after. What's with Kate Beckinsdale? She's so blah.

Ballston, Va.: Any word if the book 'Cold Mountain' will be a movie? I heard rumors a few years ago but that's it.

Rita Kempley: Ballston: I know that it has been optioned, but I don't think it's in pre-production yet. Wonderful book.

Mister Jimmy: Greetings, Rita.

Submitting early since I'll be at a funeral later on. Just wanted to let you know that I took your advice and wrote the district office of Loews, complaining about a bad experience at the Pentagon City theaters last month -- went to see "Rat Race" and the theater was closed.

I received two free passes in the mail a few days later. No free popcorn, but Miss Edie would probably eat it all anyways.

Hope all is well with you; haven't seen you much in print as of late.

Rita Kempley: Mister Jimmy: So sorry to hear about your loss. Glad you got those passes, Re the popcorn: Clearly somebody up there is looking out for you and Miss Edie.

Fairfax: Rita, when will the parade of lousy SNL alum movies end? Night at the Roxbury, Corky Whatever, Superstar, plus all the bit parts going to Will Farrell (Zoolander, etc.)... These people are funnily-annoying in 4-minute bites. They are just plain annoying at feature length.

Rita Kempley: Fiarfax: I can't believe studios keep wasting their time and money--not to mention ours--on that one-note swill. Yeah, next week Corky Romano. I guess they keep hoping for another "Austin Powers."

Vienna, Va.: Who actually wants to see a Hollywood TV-movie about the 9-11 attacks? Hollywood has made films about almost every public event and issue imaginable. People are tired of watching this junk. What would it actually accomplish? Let them take what the film would cost and give it to a real cause... like assistance to the victims and also maybe the NYC police and fire departments.

Rita Kempley: Vienna: I agree wholeheartedly. Besides, Hollywood has already made any number of movies about planes crashing into buildings: True Lies for one. I'm sure you can think of others.

Washington, D.C.: What have you heard concerning the Lord of the Rings trilogy? I'm much more excited about that than Harry Stupid Potter.

PSJ

Rita Kempley: Washington: Super buzz from Hobbitland

EraserheadGuy, D.C.: Okay, I have a new Oscar-related mission. I am giving up for the moment the idea of David Lynch getting the Lifetime Achievement Award. This year, I want Buscemi the Magnificent to be nominated for his stellar performance in “Ghost World.” This would be his first nod, and he is overdue. Remember when Tom Cruise was the favorite to win for “Jerry Maguire?” The reasoning was that the industry owed him for getting so many butts into theatre seats. Well, the industry owes Buscemi bigtime for getting so many eraserheadguys’ butts into arthouse seats. Yes, for getting e-guys to step outside their dark, dank basement apartments, blinking at the bright sunlight, to shuffle down to the dark, dank art-crackerbox to experience that transcendent cinematic experience only Buscemi (and a precious few others) can bestow upon them. I don’t think it’s realistic to expect that Buscemi wins, but a nomination would be nice as recognition of his accomplishments, even coming from such a conservative, mainstream bunch as the Academy. After all, everyone ultimately wants to be loved and accepted for who they are, right?

Rita Kempley: EraserheadGuy: I hate to see you give up on the Lynch LTAA, but applaud your campaign regarding Buscemi. He was wonderful in "Ghost World" and I don't remember him playing such an appearling charcter before. He might have a shot because so much Oscar bait is being reslotted for 2002..

Peoples' Republic of Alexandria: G'day Rita,

No question today but a recommendation. Last night we watched Fritz Lang's "M" on DVD and it was even better than I remembered! Great lighting and camera work -- some of the the high oblique stuff is absolutely balletic. Great reaction shots and use of off-camera sound effects to heighten tension. Wonderful performance by the young Peter Lorre as the serial child killer Hans. And a first rate script about an issue that even our advanced 21st century society can't deal with -- monster killer with legitimate insanity defense. When people tell me that current movies stink, I ask them if they have seen Citizen Kane or Seven Samurai or Juliet of the Spirits lately. Thanks. End of sermon.

Rita Kempley: Comrade, darling: Yes, great film. I also love "The Third Man," which falls into a similar category, as well as Diabolique--the French version.

Laurel, Md.: Re: SNL Movies

Roger Ebert pointed out in reviewing the SNL-skit driven movie Ladies Man that he had given the last four such films an average of 1.25 stars.

By comparison, the last four Paulie Shore films had averaged 1.5.

Rita Kempley: Laurel: Well, Ebert is a generous man if you ask me. I give them a big fat .25.

Arlington, Va: Just wanted to say I've always enjoyed your columns and also, these chats. Just in case anyone cares, in the wake of all the tragedy, I think there are the first two films that actually show gay people as people that are currently in the theaters: All over the Guy and Big Eden. As they say in one of the films, run, don't walk to see something more closely approximating yourselves on screen.

Rita Kempley: Arlington: Thanks very much. for your kind words. And I also loved "The Closet" even if it uses sexuality to poke fun at poliitical correctness. Two excellent films.

Washington, D.C.: Do you think that in 60 years, someone will make a bad movie about the WTC disaster that instead of actually focusing on the disaster, is about a love triange between a person who works in each building, and a stewardess on the plane?

Rita Kempley: Washington: Undoubtedly. I mean look at "titanic."

Richmond, Va.: Any word on the new Ben Stiller movie?

Rita Kempley: "Zoolander?" It's very spotty. Basically a one-joke movie about how dumb models are. Unfortunately the plot involves assassinating the p.m. of Malaysia.

London Callin': Hi Rita

I'm with you on not automatically erasing the Twin Towers from unreleased movies. I feel this understandable instinct to rub out footage to ease pain may be a bit like Stalin rewriting history. Surely a better approach would be to celebrate the life of the buildings and the people who worked there - a caption at the beginning of any movie perhaps. I had to chose between 'Driven' and 'Amelie' today. Don't worry I went to Paris. Not a bad flick from the guy that did Delicatessen. Like revved up (and yet another) version of 'Emma'. It also has a 'bedspring' moment, if you know what I mean. Worth a look if you don't mind subtitles. It'll definitely get a Hollywood version - let's hope it ain't Ron Howard.

Rita Kempley: Hi London: I was hoping we'd hear from you today. The caption is a terrific idea. Glad you saw "Amelie." It opens here later this month or in early November. Everybody who has seen it--only those people who are interviewing the ingenue--has loved it. It was a big favorite at Toronto.

Gotham Skyline withdrawal: Check out Ken Burns "New York" last two parts on PBS. Lots of gorgeous pre-9/11 views of the Twin Towers...

Rita Kempley: Yes, I caught the last two episodes as well as earlier ones a year or so ago (not sure of the date). I still can't believe that people built subways and skyscrapers and bridges with picks and shovels. Incredible.

Downtown D.C.: Have you heard or read anything about whether any U.S. film company has plans to pick up Chinese director's Tsui Hark's latest movie, "The Legend of Zu" (with Crouching Tiger's Zhang Ziyi), and show it in U.S. theaters?

Rita Kempley: Downtown: Hi. Yes, I read that it was picked up. "Iron Monkey" opens next Friday btw.

Re: All Over the Guy and Big Eden: I agree with Arlington, two very good movies. Any reason why Big Eden didn't get picked up by any other theatres, other than Visions?

Rita Kempley: Perhaps there aren't that many prints. It's so endearing, I'm surprised that it hasn't tempted other art houses. It's also possible that the producers are opening in a few choice locations to see how the film does before opening it wider.

Laurie: I feel completely out of touch with my peeps -- I have not even heard you on Fridays with Dave.

Rita Kempley: Laurie: Well, don't worry, the peeps are with you if only in spirit. Speaking of which, I did the radio show with Johnny Dark this morning and I knew it would be him before I picked up the phone. I am revving up for the big cyber seance and I suggest the suspects do likewise.

Washington, D.C.: The reference to the love triangle and bad movie was to Pearl Harbor, but Titanic works too.

Rita Kempley: Washington: Oh, right.

Nani, Tex.: Oh what a delightful chat today! It's almost as much fun as when Guido joined the chat and told the world that his Queen Rita, in a fit of pique, tossed her dessert out the window "spoon and all." Ghost World, another must-see if I'm ever going to figure out the enigmatic EraserheadGuy. The Third Man, I loved the theme song! Diabolique, so scary (the remake was awful).

Rita Kempley: Nani. So good to hear from you. Did he send you a viddie of the E-movie? I think I'd stick with "Ghost World" for the time being. And anything with Mr. Buscemi. The remake of Diabolique was ghastly. The question, of course, is why bother. I'm still unhappy about remake of "To Be or NOt to Be," these many years hence. ONe of my favorites.

Buscemi-fan, Kensington: Dear Rita -
Unbelievably long time no see. Since having my second rug-rat, I rarely see films anymore unless there is a cartoon character in them.

However, I did get to watch "Best in Show" on video last weekend, and it was hysterical! I didn't so much belly-laugh-out-loud as snicker-and-snort at everything (especially the two law students at Starbucks shops across the street from each other). I wonder if you have any idea of the specific inspiration for the film (other than Guest must have gone to a dog show)? This is a movie that cries out for a "the making of..." show!

Rita Kempley: Now that is soo weird. I was just wondering how you were doing. We haven't heard from you since shortly after you had your fiirst baby. I think you were messaging from a lap top on your tummy.
The show was inspired by the Westminster Dog Show and Fred Willard's character was a parody of Joe Garagiola, who colorcasts the show and apparently really doesn't know diddly about our canine companions.

Florida: I hope I can sneak this in in time! The last time I went to the movies (too long ago!) I saw a trailer for The Count of Monte Cristo, and it looked great. Any word on how good this is and when it's coming out?

Rita Kempley: Florida: Not to worry. I usually run way over the hour. Otherwise there's not enough time for a real chat. It would just me pontificating. The Count of Monte Cristo was supposed to come out this month as I recall, but it too has been pulled from the schedule. I suspect that has more to do with the recent release of "The Musketeer" than with 9/11.'

Arlington 2.0: Any word on how the new Star Trek movie is progressing?

Rita Kempley: Arlington 2. 0: I think it's probably still in the works, but I'm not sure at what stage. BTW, I think Scott Bakula's captain is a big, fat wimp.

Fairfax, Va.: Hi Rita,

What is the word on Johnny Depp's movie ? I saw the trailer on TV last night and it looked pretty good.

Rita Kempley: Hi Fairfax: "From Hell" screens next week and is supposed to open on October 19. I'll be able to give you first hand info whenever I show up here again. It sounds as if it will have a lot in common with Sleepy Hollow: Depp is period investigator on the trail of a serial killer. This time it's Jack the Ripper. It's supposed to be gory.

Ranter: Hey Rita, it seems everyone else is checking in, so I thought I would too. I haven't been here in ages (moved from DC to Oxford, Mississippi, to be with my fiance) but wanted you to know I loved each and every Friday afternoon I spent with the Unusual Suspects instead of doing work.

That's all. Hope you're doing well...

Ranter

Rita Kempley: Ranter": Welll, I'll be. Thanks for checking in. I was worried and just wanted to make sure everyone was okay. And it seems that's the case. Although we haven't heard from artmovielover in a while. And a handful of others are WAOL. Glad you're well.

Florida: My Queen, you broke my heart. "Count" is the first movie I've been excited enough about to go to the movie theater for (rather than waiting for video) for a long time. Sigh. Please make me happy (and restore my faith in the movie industry) and suggest something truly excellent to see.

Rita Kempley: Florida: I dopn't think I can help when it comes to faith in the industry, but I hope I can do better with that broken heart of yours. The Affair of the Necklace is coming to a cineplex near you in the next couple of weeks. Hilary Swank stars as a French noblewoman anxious to get back at the rabble who chopped off her family's heards. It looks gorgeous--I don't believe anyone is topped. I'm assuming that's back story.

Columbia, Md.: You are so right about Scott Bakula!
A wet blanket would be a fiercer star ship captain.

Rita Kempley: Columbia: He's a lot like that slug the Asian-American crewperson has in that little glass jar. ONly without the personality.

Trek: Oh, I like the new series. I think it's fun without being too goofy. That said, I do not understand the odd shower scene they worked into the first episode.

Rita Kempley: Trek: I liked the first one--always include a shower scene when possible--but the second one disappointed me.

Re: Along Came a Spider: Read the book, but didn't see the movie because of bad reviews. Is it a worthy rental at the video store?

Rita Kempley: Hi. Rent don't buy. It's not really all that bad.

Rita Kempley: WEll, so long for now. I expect to be back in a couple of weeks and we'll make plans for the seance. EVerybody who hasn't checked in--do so puhleese. Love ya, Rita

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