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America At War:
Health Talk: Normal, Yet?
Hosted by Abigail Trafford
Washington Post columnist
Tuesday, Oct. 16, 2001; 2 p.m. EDT
Join Post Health columnist Abigail Trafford on Tuesday, Oct. 16 at 2 p.m. EDT for an interactive reader discussion about dealing with life in the aftermath of Sept. 11 -- from
changes in your daily routine or moods to big questions about changing
values and priorities.
The transcript follows.
Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control
over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests
and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.
Abigail Trafford: Hello everybody! Are you back to normal, yet? I don't think anybody is back to the old normal. We're all trying to find our new normal. You go to work. You ride the metro. You pick up the kids from school. You go to class. . . . Then there's a fire alarm in your building. . . another anthrax scare. How do you keep on going on? Send in your stories, your questions.
Washington, D.C.:
First I want to thank you, Ms. Trafford for your numerous efforts in health care. You are terrific!
My question is: my office is near one of the targets. We are "back to normal" and nobody much is talking about any of it. But, I'm still fairly depressed- sleeping all weekend, etc. At what point after this kind of thing, which still continues daily with new atacks through the mail, etc., am I not ok and need help? Don't have much energy to get it.
Abigail Trafford: The biggest problem we face right now is uncertainty. And all the shrinks tell us that living in uncertainty is very hard to do. There are no signs that this uncertainty is going to lift. So, how do you accept and move on? Feeling a little abnormal is a normal response to an abnormal situation. But you say you're still "fairly depressed." That needs attention. First a caution. I am not a therapist, so I can't give you personal advice. But this is my yardstick: if I'm hurting I need to be comforted. Sometimes I can be comforted by friends and family and neighbors. Sometimes the hurt is too big. That's when I would seek out out a physician or therapist. Not getting enough sleep can spiral you down. We're all feeling edgy. But you know when the hurt is too much to bear alone.
Washington, D.C.:
I just cannot concentrate at work, or feel that what I am doing is in any way important. Part of this might be the result of the fact that I really do not have great enthusiasm for my job to begin with-- I was seriously considering changing jobs prior to Sept. 11. I also happen to work on Capitol Hill.
Most of the day, the t.v. is tuned to CNN. When I am working at my computer, I can't go five minutes without jumping from my work file to a news website to get the latest.
Everyone else in my office seems "fine"-- at the very least, they seem able to take their minds off of everything by diving into their work. I can't seem to do the same. How do I know whether I just hate my job (independent of what is happening in the world at large, or at least other parts of Capitol Hill) or I am reacting to terrorist activities, threats?
Finally-- I have tons of unused vacation time that I could use. But, I can't imagine using them right now without feeling really guilty (i.e., as if I were "abandoning ship"). Also, I wouldn't know what to do to relax. If I can't concentrate while at work, would I be able to "concentrate" on vacation (i.e., would I be able to "recharge my batteries", or continue to be anxious even away from the office?)
Thanks.
Abigail Trafford: A couple of thoughts. My bet is that your co-workers are feeling jittery, too. And the September 11 attacks have forced a lot of people to re-examine their lives and their pritories. What do you really think of your job? Meanwhile, I have a suggestion: take a vacation, or at least plan the vacation. I'm a believer in vacations. We need them. Especially those of us who work in fast-track Washington. It's easy to work and work and work. It's all so exciting. We're making history! But that's workaholism. Eventually it wears you down.
Washington, D.C.:
I didn't lose anyone in the September 11 attacks. I was never in any physical danger. (I thought I was at the time, because of all the rumors going around, but that's another thing.) I was really upset for a while but I seem to be getting better.
The one thing is that I have this tendency to bite people's heads off for little or no reason, with little or no warning. Especially if the conversation turns to terrorism, but even sometimes talking about everyday things. It's been a long time since I had so little control over my temper, and it's disturbing, frightening, and it shames me. It seems like I should be able to get over it since I didn't suffer any personal loss, and there are a lot more people who had (have) it worse than I do. I also am having to work very hard to avoid tipping into depression, which I was treated for several years ago, but was basically recovered. I recognize some of the same symptoms though. I have been able to fight it okay so far.
Can I expect this to go away in time? I don't really have the financial resources to seek mental health treatment. I think I'd feel a lot better if I just knew whether what I am experiencing is normal and if I could expect it to fade after a suitable interval.
Abigail Trafford: Irritability is a a classic response to stress. There's a mixture of anger and depression. If you don't feel you can control your situation--and none of us can completely--you lash out. But you're worried. You've had depression before. So you are alert to the signs. That's good. What about joining a support group? You could talk about your anger and feelings and get a kind of "normalcy check." You can always check with the National Mental Health Association in Alexandria Virginia. 703 684-7722 for more information.
Chevy Chase, Md:
Hi Abigail,
I have a bit of a sore throat today. Logic tells me that this is due to the fact that my office is hot one day and freezing the next, and that outside it goes from 40 to 80 degrees. But how do I know when I'm being cautious enough, if the symptoms of anthrax mimic the common cold?
Abigail Trafford: Hello. You sound like Every American. We are scared. There are anthrax scares. We imagine the worse. But doctors tell us. . . the chances of an individual getting exposed to anthrax is just about zero. It's not absolute. But even with the scares, the risk is very remote. And first, you have to be exposed to it before you come down with symptoms. I think logic is telling you right. For reassurance, call your doctor.
Washington, D.C.:
Here's the deal:
Normally, I have vivid dreams every night but now I keep having nightmares about terrorism (ie. planes crashing, being at the WTC, my fiance' being a terrorist..). I've had 2 a week since Sept 11 and each time I wake up crying hysterically. Should I go see someone? I mean, I feel fine during the day (although I still jump when I hear sirens). I did see the smoke of the pentagon from work that morning and I did get caught in the chaos to get home. Could that be the source? I feel dumb because I don't know anyone who was killed or hurt in the attacks.
How do I stop having nightmares?
Thanks.
Abigail Trafford: Here's my bias. If you're suffering, get help. There's no arbitrary line that says once you cross this line you are eligible for help. It sounds as though you are hurting badly. Nightmares are frightening. You need to get a good night's sleep. That's some a physician or therapist can help you with.
Washington, D.C.:
Dear Ms. Trafford:
I am very concerned about the reported "hoarding" of Cipro, the antibiotic used to combat anthrax. Apparently, some (many?) stupid and selfish people are grabbing up the drug despite not needing it. I understand that people are afraid (I am too!), but I wonder if THEY understand the public health risks this creates: the drugs standing unused in a medicine cabinet won't help someone who really needs the drug! Why have public health officials not emphasized more strongly the importance of not panicking, not hoarding, and doctors not prescribing without need?
Thanks.
Abigail Trafford: You are so right. The country is in the midst of a Cipro binge. But people are doing this because they want to do SOMETHING in the face of this vague overwhelming threat to protect themselves and their families. One problem is that government medical leaders have been noticeably abset in advisint the public. The Department of Health and Human Services is not letting the press talk to key agencies. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which is the lead agency against bioterrorism has been closed down to the press. That means there are no highly visible public health officials helping the public understand the risk. Nor is the public getting specific advice on what to do. Right from the start, a public health leader should have been saying: don't stock up on cipro or other antibiotics. It's not neccessary and could be harmful.
Washington, D.C.:
How might you suggest that government go about averting public panic about the anthrax scare? It seems that the irrational hoarding of drugs and calling of authorities about chalk dust and baby powder are stretching resources too thin -- the real danger may be in the panic rather than in the disease!
Abigail Trafford: Right on. The real danger is in the panic. There are lots of scares now. The resources of the public health system are very thin. That leaves the average person in a scary place.
Portland, Maine :
Have you found that women or men are more affected by the attacks and air strikes? Have you noticed a difference with the elderly versus people with small children?
Thanks.
Abigail Trafford: Hi, Maine. I just interviewed a lot of people who had gone through World War II. Very interesting. First. They aren't scared at all. They have confidence in the future. They are concerned for their children and grand children and great-grands--but not for themselves. The men have a can-do attitude. They accept the risk of terrorism. Some of them have resubmitted their resume to the Department of Defense or the Central Intelligence Agency. The women talked more about their feelings. "I'm just terribly terribly said," said one widow in Washington. The women talked more about the grief and sorrow and the loss of lives. So that's how the genders split in the 80-plus generation. Children are a whole other category. They are so young and impressionable. This is very frightening to children.
College Park, Md.:
The anger and fear that Tom Brokaw is feeling about the anthrax attack directed towards his office is understandable, I am appalled at his reactions on national television. On two occassions yesterday, he shook a bottle full of the antibiotic Cipro and assured his audience that he's ok. He is an enormously influential public figure and a journalist, and his gestures undermine the efforts of medical professionals to keep the public from going on an antibiotic binge. This massive run on Cipro, fueled by the irresponsible actions of Mr. Brokaw, might just possibly contribute to an even greater public health problem as a large part of the population has reduced levels of beneficial bacteria in their systems. It also makes me wonder if Cipro's manufacturer is paying Tom Brokaw for his high profile advertisements.
Matthew
Abigail Trafford: Hello College Park. I didn't see Tom Brokaw. I can imagine his anger. Many people have a lot of anger and don't know what to do with it in these times. That's the trouble. People feel helpless. So they do something--anything. Certainly shaking a bottle of antibiotics is not going to save us terrorism. You're right to point out the dangers in stocking up on Cipro. Why isn't this word getting out?
Gaithersburg, Md.:
How I'm coping these days --
Although it's been more difficult the last few days, what with all the anthrax coverage, I've been trying to limit my exposure to news. I've found that being tuned in 24/7 doesn't really result in my learning that much more new information, but it does increase my personal tension level. It's too easy to lose perspective, especially when you're bombarded with reports that at times err on the side of sensationalism.
I also have been doing a bit of reading -- right now I'm going through Bill Bryson's account of his travels through Europe. His books never fail to make me laugh out loud, or annoy those around me by reading aloud choice excerpts.
Through all of this, I have been actively pursuing the hobbies and interests that have always sustained me; they are doing so now, and connect me with the friends I have made across the US. My husband and cats offer great support, of course; the cats seem to sense that both of us need them right now. Watching a movie with a huge, purring cat (or two, or more) on your lap can be very relaxing.
In the end, I believe that fear and worry do us no good. They don't change anything, and all they do is use up energies that could be devoted to something more worthwhile. This doesn't mean I'm totally relaxed; I'd say I'm about 95% okay and about 5% on edge. I can live with that, I think, for as long as is needed. And I'll try to work that percentage down even further, if I can.
Abigail Trafford: You are a role model! First good advice: turn off the t.v. Limit the amount of news you receive. That may sound odd coming from a journalist. We're all news junkies. But I understand. Too much is too much. You have to look at the news--t.v., magazines, radio, newspaper--like a menu in a restaurant. Pick and choose. That give you a sense of control--rather than having the news control you. Reading is another way to get engaged in another world. And loved ones are always key. You're lucky. You have two!
South of the Beltway::
The most drastic change since Sept. 11 has been eating due to stress. I had been very conscious of what I ate for over a year -- lost 25 pounds since August 2000, but since about a week ago I've really gone ape and have eaten things I haven't touched in over a year -- fried chicken, potato chips, cakes, ice cream by the quart. I keep thinking I'll get back on track and cut out the rich, fatty stuff. Can pigging out get out of control? I'd hate to gain back the weight I worked so hard to lose.
Co-workers have mentioned they find it hard to concentrate, and the work we're doing doesn't seem really important any more.
Abigail Trafford: Appetitle is a belwether of mood. Sometimes people can't eat. Sometimes people eat too much. It's all about filling a need. The need is really important to address. The trick is to find a healthy way to meet the need that doesn't involve under or over-eating. You must be so proud of yourself for losing 25 pounds. What about going back and talking to the people who helped you lose the weight?
Fellow dieters? They might be able to give a comfort check.
West Palm Beach, Fla.:
Hello, I am having increasingly bad nightmares, it seems when something else happens. During the day I can handle it but at night it's just too much. I nightmare to the point that I know it and I wake myself up. Also I am in great fear for my children, because of where I live. I've lost 7 lbs. since 9-11. What can I do I'm exhausted, my stomach in knots, I can't live like this. When will I feel better?
Also my 7 year old has a cold and as I was discussing it with my husband this morning , my 11 yr. old said "oh god I hope it's not anthrax." Is that normal for her age and should I be concerned?
Abigail Trafford: Hello West Palm Beach. You are someone who is losing weight. Again, appetite is a like the canary in the mine of your mental health. It sounds as though you are having a really hard time. There are places where you can get support. Sleep disturbances need attention. As for your kids--I think everybody is talking about anthrax. So that doesn't surprise me. The important thing is to talk to her about it. Ask her if she is scared, and then you can reassure her. The risk to any individual is practically zero.
Springfield, Va.:
Hi there,
Well, first of all thank you for all the advice that you provide for all of us who don't know quite what to do with ourselves. Here's my question. I work in an office, and my daily companions are my computer and phone. But while I'm trying to do my job I constantly look at The Washington Post Web site to see what's happening. I don't like to feel like I don't know what's going on, like when on Sept. 11, I didn't find out what happened until my husband called me on the cell phone at around 10 a.m. I'm scared that i won't know what's going on in time. I work near fort belvoir and constantly hear helicoptors flying near the office. I am so jumpy all the time and whenver I hear a "weird" noise I look outside my window. I'm tired of always being so jumpy and unnerved. What do you recommend to relax myself, so that I may get more work done at the office?
Abigail Trafford: Hi, Springfield. I think you speak for so many people who work in this area. People are jumpy. At first it seems reassuring to check the Washingtonpost.com site so you can be sure to be on top of events. But you don't need to do that constantly. Just now and then and you could time yourself. A check every one or two hours. Remember, you did learn about the September 11 events pretty soon afterwards, so you weren't really left behind. And you're not going to be left out now. Another part of the question is your job--does it engage you? Are you interested in your work? Hopefully, the noise out the window will become more routine.
Germantown, Md.:
Hello,
It's good to read that others are having the same responses. Since the attacks I sleep more often. I've had nightmares of terrorist attacks in my neighborhood and it has been difficult to be cheerful. I too cannot concentrate or focus on things. However, today I experienced a break-through. I decided that I should start running again on my lunch hour. This physical activity was extremely helpful. I also read a quote by Horace on my dayrunner this morning that was especially healing: "Drop the question what tomorrow may bring, and count as profit every day that fate allows you."
Abigail Trafford: Bravo Germantown. Getting into an exercise routine is one of the best ways to handle stress.
Cambridge, Mass.:
My 8 year-old niece just wrote a school story about a powder that kills people. I find it rather sad that this is a topic on the minds of 8 year olds; how do you think we can work to downplay stress in our children's lives at this time, and/or work to maintain some protective innocence?
Abigail Trafford: I agree. I don't want a world where little girls write stories about killer powder--or a word where planes destroy buildings and kill thousands of people. that's a horror scenario and especially hard for children to grasp. Perhaps you niece was trying to make sense of what she's hearing in the news, from her parents, from the buzz all around her. It's her way of gaining some control over the threat. We grownups have to make sure children are not "stuck" on this--that they are not suffering in silence with their imagination ccreating nightmare scenarios and that they are not overloaded with too much information that they can't absorb. Mostly children need to feel safe.
Kittery, Maine:
Just as I was starting to get back to normal again, the US started its military air strikes in Afghanistan. I was ready to make travel plans, go to Europe etc. But since our strikes, my paranoia has returned and I'm not jumping to fly again. I don't think it helps to have members of Al Queda making threats coupled with the State Department saying expect more terrorist attacks, though we have no idea how or what.
Have you found this to be a common feeling
that the US attacks have sparked more
Abigail Trafford: This is a very very common feeling. It's not such the September 11 attacks. It's the uncertainty of new threats--with no idea of what they will be. The natural response is to hunker down and stay home with your bedroom slippers on. But this stage of tension can't go on for ever. We'll all go a little nuts. After a while, you adjust to the fear and then you make your decision. I bet most people will resume their plans to travel. . . . depending on how all this work out.
Vienna, Va.:
Abi, many of the experts say that to prepare for a bioterrorist attack, that we should prepare as if there was going to be a natural disaster like a hurricane or tornado. So we need to stock up on things? What is it that we are supposed to do?
Preparing for a major disaster like a hurricane or tornado doesn't seem very normal to me.
Abigail Trafford: Hi, Vienna. I lived on the coast of Maine and Texas so I know about preparing for a hurricane. First thing is the weather service is pretty good about predicting a storm. That's what we're missing today with terrorism. The government is not able to predict when the storm will strike. But experts are pointing out that there are some things that a household should have on hand to prepare for a natural or manmade emergency just the way most houses have an emergency medical kit. So. . using the hurricane analogy, be prepared means having flashlights and batteries in case the electricity goes off. Some bottled water and canned goods on hand. (You can get really sick of tuna fish if the elctricity is off for days.) A battery radio to get reports on the the storm. A plan for all members of the household in case the storm hits and they are not at home. You may also need a plan in case you have to leave your house for higher, safer ground. That's what people do who live along the hurricane corridor.
Arlington, Va.:
Do you find a lot of people talking about leaving D.C.? It seems any other prospect is better than this when it comes to targets. Love your chats.
Abigail Trafford: Some people are talking about moving away from the targets of Washington and New York. But I think that's part of the constant buzz in people's lives. People are always thinking about moving. These events have just brought such thoughts into focus. I certainly don't think it's a protective strategy. Where are you going to move to? There's no such place that's absolutely safe. Besides, what about all the other risks we face in life? They are still there.
Portland, Maine:
I thought I was normal as one of the sources of my anxiety was bioterrorism. I had images of cropduster planes flying overhead and being unable to escape the germs. Strangely, the letter writing technique is less-threatening as it is something one can control. So that concern has abated. I seemed to be returning to "normal" when I was awoken last night to a vivid dream of a suicide bomber on a cruise ship. I wonder when "normal" will return.
Abigail Trafford: It sounds as though you are getting control over the fear. Thinking about it, dealing with it, putting it in perspective--all that reduces your anxiety. Good for you, Portland.
Distressed, D.C.:
Abi, I thought I'd be okay about the whole thing. My friends live in N.Y. and I was planning to go up and visit next month. But now I'm not so sure. I guess it is the fear that I will encounter something unknown. I certainly wouldn't want to be in a building and later find out that there were anthrax spores there. Also, I wonder if terrorists or copycats would hit N.Y. or D.C. again.
Abigail Trafford: Personally I'd go visit them. It's important to reach out and be in touch with people you care about. You'll do a lot for them and they'll comfort you. The anthrax scares are very confined and spread around the country, not just N.Y. or D.C. So I would go--if I wanted to.
Abigail Trafford: Our time is up. Thank you all for letting us know how you're doing. Joim me next week for a continuation of this discussion. Same time, same place.
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